You know, I've told myself so many times that life is gonna suck, so I should just get over it, but I just can't seem to. I know what happened and I know that I can't change it, but part of me just doesn't want to accept it, and I can't seem to think that anyone could ever accept someone as damaged as I am. At least whenever my heart gets broken, my friends are gonna be there picking up the pieces and putting it back together with duct tape, wondering where the hell that piece goes. But sometimes I can't help but think that they'd all be better off without me. Everyone I'm around always seems to get hurt, and although I know it isn't, it's as though everything's all my fault. A lot of people have told me that I act so much older than I really am, but none of them know what I've gone through. None of them know what happened, except for one of my friends, who has gone through almost the same exact crap that I've gone through. It's a lot easier opening up to someone who knows exactly what you've been through, and it's easier talking to a complete stranger than to your friends. With a stranger, you don't have to act as strong as you do around your friends. With my friends, I'm always the one they go to whenever something goes wrong, and I just can't throw my problems at them. Not when they need me to be strong and be there for them....
A world that no one else has seen,
My own realm of my nightmare's dream
No one else is welcome here
In the world of my hope's fear.