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February 2nd, a day that once held so much happiness.. Now an empty void in my heart.
3 years ago, on this day, my beloved Boomy~sama had agreed to be mine. Many wonderful months we shared.. Yes, a few were rocky, but we came together and came out strong.
Now, on this day of which we should share, he is with another and I? A lone, lost in the insanity of life. It is nearly a month since we have separated, but the pain is still there. The last time we talked, we fought. Bitter words were said, mostly on my part, while he was trying to make sure I didn't "off my emo a**". Wouldn't you be an emo b***h too if almost 3 years of a relationship died in the last 4-5 months, while you naively made plans for the future..? All I wanted to know was.. Why?
While some think that I should be totally over this.. It's not that simple. No one in their right mind would want to be with a thing like me, and he... 'loved' me for who I was..
I truly wish I could cut those lovely but painful memories from my mind and heart, leaving me nothing to dwell upon, nothing to remember.. The day we finally started talking, the days he would call just to say hi, the days he helped me through my break up with Rueben, this very day.. 3 years ago, our Gaia wedding, the time he almost moved here, his first visit, our first kiss, our first time.. His second visit, our dates, all our times together, all those hours and late night on the phone. Oh how I miss it all, oh I how I wish to return to these times.. Oh so many sleepless nights.. It truly.. Was never ment to be..
And I walk through life.. Cold and unfeeling, not knowing what to do anymore.
Is there someone for me..? Or is love a fantasy that is only in story books and songs? If it is truly just smoke and mirrors, there is no hope for me..
 xGothic Lolita Dollx · Mon Feb 02, 2009 @ 06:11am · 0 Comments |
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