I'm being torn away from something I used to know and thrusted into a new deepened spiral of emotions. If the purpose of this journey was to fall for him, then I understand it. If this journey was for something else, then I don't understand. Because I'm so lost inside him that it is beyond myself. He's twisted me in ways I haven't been twisted before and I long for his sweet embrace. For that goodnight kiss. The sweet midnight taste and have it last forever and ever and that ghostly clock ding at the stroke of our goodbye.
I'm in love with the idea of being in love and having someone who loves and cares about me. But when was the last time I truly felt so alive. So truly alive. No one has heard me cry at night the way I have. And no one has shown me the light the way he has. I'm sick of being alone and sick of having to wait. I'm sick of knowing this disgusting feeling of resentment and being alone.
Maybe it's the smidget of failure I've recently been getting. Or maybe it's the twisted realization I've lost my chance and need to move on with my life. Have I really lost my chance? Is my "what-if" finally ascending away from me to somewhere I'll never get to see the answer too?
I'm sick of the music overtures. I'm sick of the composition sketches of life. I need to be praised and gorged. I need life. Does this make any sense?...
;_;
Sugar Dive · Mon May 18, 2009 @ 03:33am · 0 Comments |