Well Megan is dead. I wasn't really her friend, I knew her I talked to her she signed all of my shout-out-boxes on my website, she was a wonderful person she was really full of life all the time. I'm not really sure what to think. My friend katy told me that she killed herself about a week ago, it didnt really matter to me then. Nothing does the first time I hear I've nocited that about myself I just ignore things and hope they go away. I remember when Alyssa died I for the first 3 days afterwards I just pretended it didnt happen. I mean it was Alyssa she was like my bigg sister I've known her since a little girl. She couldnt of hung herself, could she?
The first time it really hit me that she wasnt alive anymore was when I read her obituary. I cryed. I still have it in my purse its one of the things that are most specail to me. Well when it first hit me that megan was really dead, was that my friend ryan had her name in his screen name. It made me think, he used to date her, but then they broke up and he told everyone that she was a total b***h. He did the same to me, and then I thought would he do that to me? Be my friend in death for what? Bragging rights? It kind-of pissed me off. It just becomes more and more common ignorence in life and then obsession in death? It makes no sence to me. Well isn't that the point of 495 what we couldnt give themin life we give them in death. Glorified Suicide.
Oh I'm rambling on, I guess I'm sad in away. But again Megan wasnt my friend she was an aqquintence I just hope shes happier know. There was nothing I could do there's no reason to feel guilty. There were very few good times shared with with so theres no need to morn.
Well school's starting soon so I'll just push it to the back of my mind with all the other forgotten people, with allt he other forgotten pleas. I dont even know what thoughts are mine anymore...
Mood - Greif Striken, Depressed
Music - Yesterday by the beetles
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
 Circus Hopping · Sat Jan 07, 2006 @ 03:00am · 0 Comments |
