I dont know what to do...I feel the need to need someone...but i dont know what that means.
More than likely its loneliness.
I know I have my friends and love when im at school,but at home,theres noone but the dog and my granny :/
dont like talking to her...about certain stuff.
My love has been grounded for a little over a week now and I have no desire for anything.
Im empty without her.
Ive been avoiding the interweb a little bit,Ive become an unhappy child at home and I having been eating as much as i usually do.
I made a promise to her that im not going to break.
But the problem is how it's so hard to keep it.
I want to have that feeling,I want to feel something.
Im just so numb right now.
Sure I'm a good actor around people but at home,i become me,the real me.
I cant stop crying at this moment.I want help but dont know how to get it.
I keep thinking about stuff I shouldnt.
Its just adding onto the pain...Maybe I want myself to feel hurt and down...but who would want that?
It's like theres someone else besides me in side myself that wants to see me suffer...
I think about how im not the most perfect person to look at,about my mom,about my love,how i dont matter ( i know its not true though,but i make myself believe it just so i have another reason),just little things like that.
Right now its the first and third.
My love usually cheers me up when i start thinking like this,but shes not here right now.
You can only cry so much...and when that happens i feel the need for physical pain....but that wont come neither...then the lonliness and numbness settles in.
Im going crazy inside.
A person can only take so much till they blow...My countdown has begun.
None of this really matters anymore....I feel fine now xD
Just had to get something out i guess,heh heh =.=;;;;
Well...OFF TO MY GRAINS OF TRUTH! O uOb
 Kaliscopic Kindal · Wed Oct 07, 2009 @ 02:30am · 0 Comments |
