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yeah halloween was a total turd, honestly
decided we'd support my boyfriends cousin's music and go see his band
it was at a church in the middle of nowhere, so dressed as sid vicious and a pink haired flapper we go to some church past an indian reservation and some crazy mountains, we get to this ******** church
listen to some really shitty "jesus metal" music, my ears hurt, i punched a guy a few times for being a stupid a*****e and running into my boyfriend and I when he was trying to make a scene by kicking and punching in the air trying to be hardcore
and at the end this stupid guy decided to preach and talk about peopel being raped and a lot of s**t
i doubt he knows anything about rape, rape is the last thing that would make me believe in god, actually it has completely turned me away from believing such bullshit
i was pretty offended, so after that we left
only plus side was we brought our friend pilly, and there was candy all over the place
but overall, it was total crap
not how i wanted to spend halloween, i honetly wouldve been happier trick or treating or passing out candy to kids
im so stressed about upcoming holidays, we have no car so its going to be mission impossible getting a job or doing anything during the day when we need to
ughghgghghghghggh so i wont have money to buy presents for anyone for christmas, and i really really want to, because otherwise i have nothing else to show for how much my boyfriends family has helped me by taking me in basically
if i werent here, i would be dead, honestly
its hard to explain to them why i ran away, or that i was raped, and my family situation, but i don't think i need to or ever will
i just want them to know i love them and appreciate everything they've done for me, ive never asked for anything, and i dont want to, i can't take anything away
even if i feel like sometimes everyone here hates me or wishes oz never brought me here, i can't thank them enough for feeding me, giving me a space to live in and letting me do my laundry
at my mothers house, i didnt even have a bedroom and i slept on the floor by the kitchen table because there was no space anywhere else
they have made life in many ways a lot better for me, but in some ways im still uncomfortable with myself, i wish i could get over it, i really really do
but i cant because of what cause and effect has made me as a woman and as an upcoming adult
idk, ill always cry and get angry, but im slowly trying to enjoy life more
generic root beer · Tue Nov 03, 2009 @ 04:11am · 1 Comments |
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