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My Daily Journal
A walk-through of my day, my thoughts, my feelings.
Entry #5 - Part 3
Okay, so I went to the movies to try and relax tonight. I watched "when in rome" It was an okay movie but lots of things where still on my mind. I was relieved to come home and my girlfriend saying she wants to stay with me, but to be honest I am very scared that just the next time she thinks about it and says "I'm bored and I hate this relationship" I feel that I am going to be very heartbroken. I know I am very replaceable. Trust me there is NOT much to replace at all...And I really do want whats best for her so if the time does come up and she breaks up with me for that reason, I would probably support her and try to get her back on track...and after I achieve that...well it's either I try to live on with my life a bit or just end it after i complete my dream of making her life a good one...All I've done to it is mess it up so far. I still think shes with me because she THINKS that she can't have better even if she wanted to...which i imagine she might...So I could totally see soe cute guy come in the picture and guess who's going to be the one tuned down. Lets just say there would be only one cute guy...and I am not him. The cute guy would be very pleased...I feel like I am totally misjudging my girlfriend at the moment with that...but I have to face reality. I'm not a dream guy to her anymore...I am boring...and I am not excieting and she does not like being with me. I know it's going to happen to me...I just hope I won't let it kill me. From this point on though, I'm going to try and focus more on being a bit happier instead of being such a depressed blob constantly. Maybe she will love me more. I can only hope. crying

End of entry #5 - Part 3

Luke. J. Hollis.






User Comments: [1] [add]
S e x y O u t c a s t
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Mar 14, 2010 @ 02:59am
You really write alot in your journals.
I have read them, but I'm not commenting each one.
I wish I could give you some advice, but it seems like you don't know where you stand in this relationship.
Don't try and change yourself for her.
She should be supporting you and HELPING you to get better.
Not leave you cause you are depressed.
Maybe you should be the one leaving and finding someone who won't add to your sadness. But help you through it. sad


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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