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Private..poems and feelings Private


kittyki_890
Community Member
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Don't you always wish your life was different? That you could be one of those kids who hang out with all the boys and stand out from the crowd. Be the one everyone else wants to be and be the one most outrageous... yell in class and know everyone and everyone (pretty much) likes you? I know that I'll never be like that... i'm to quiet and calm, yet i embaress myself all the time by doing some of these things, i have many people who for no reason hate me and then those who like me and know me when i dont know them... I wish I could move away from here, start my life over, act differently, be what I wish I could be and noone would know that this wasnt how i used to act except for my family, tho if I move im afraid that i wont have as good friends as i have here, ones i can share my secrets with...ones who will go places to just talk and nothing more, and that people will make fun of me...<-- but who cares if people make fun of me...certaintly not me... i always tell my mom that i want to move and she asks why. I dont tell her cuz even if i did we wouldnt move! and we dont plan on moving any time soon...we will only move if my dads work makes us move...which isnt any time soon, so what is the point?????? it was because of my dad we moved in the first place, away from my beloved home in Mississippi...away from my beautiful house and childhood, away from the place i was born...I still cry now because i cant be there in my hometown to sufer with the loses with everyone else in my home town...tho i know that if i still lived there i wouldnt be here now on the internet...on this website...and i wouldnt of gotten to meet the new people along the way good or bad... but then maybe my mind wouldnt be poisioned with all the knowledge i know and have learned over my short time in life...and sometimes i wish someone...anyone... would just take me away from me...kill me so i wont sufer anymore...but i know that is not what i want inside... i know i want to keep living cuz as they say...your teen years are the most painful but most happiest time of your life...n i know i want to see how i turn out in the end...and live as long as i can....




 
 
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