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Unwanted Hate

I hate her,
for she has made me cry,
but i dont want to hate her,
i love her,
but i hate her,
because she knows she hurt me,
and she doesnt care,
and to tell me how much happier she is with someone else,
i dont deserve such cruel treatment?
yet part of me is happy,
because she is happy,
but part of me dies,
at the thought of her not with me,
i know its wrong,
know its not fare,
but her being happy right now,
i dont even care,
so i take this blade,
and run it deep,
letting my blood flow,
like my unwanted hate.