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my life is going down hill. last night i had a fight with my best friend sakura... I couldnt believe what i heard. I have a couple of "guy" friends she doesnt know about yet she treats me like i dont know about anything all the time sad Sometimes i just wonder if anything would be better if i ran away and disappeared... sure everyone would be sad and lonely at first but eventually they would get over it. I wonder if I left, if my puppy -precious- might have more of a chance of living. I wonder if i left, if my sister's mono that she has had for almost three months now - which might mean cancer- would fade away. I wonder if i left, if the guy i love would actually find happiness. And i wonder if i left, my parents would stop fighting... Sometimes i wonder a lot which sometimes results in logical standings. Last night was one of those nights. I was already having a shitty night and then the fight with my best friend... It made me wonder. I got off of gaia and went into my room. I was wondering what it would be like if me or one of my close friends committed suicide- no hints people just wondering trust me im not suicidal 3nodding - I mean it would make people, no, all of us -my friends and me- go through major chaos. And i know none of us could completely get over something like that, but we could still live our dreams and participate in things we have longed for, but the person who died would have given up complete hope. They would not get a chance to find true love, to have children, or to determine and reach their goals in life. So if i had the chance to commit suicide would i do it? no i wouldnt because i would lose everything life is about. I would lose all of my friends, all of my family, all of my hopes and dreams, and everything... just think about that.
Bye everyone please
have a non shitty
day i will hope
this is better
than last
night 4
me smile