*This is a conversation I just had with a very close friend of mine. We have finally
unraveled the plans for the end of the world.
Me:...I was referring to dolphins framing sharks for eating people by dressing up like sharks and eating people themselves.
Big Brother: ah
Big Brother: your god damned right
Big Brother: jaws was innocent
Big Brother: and they shot him
Big Brother: and what about whales
Big Brother: killer whale sounds suspicious to me
Big Brother: like they are being framed
Me: They are being framed. They used to be orcas before the sharks decided to get in on the framing business. And since they couldn't outsmart the dolphins, they thought "Hey...how about whales?"
Big Brother: that is perfectly logical
Big Brother: those damn bastards
Big Brother: can't they all just get along
Big Brother: but no
Big Brother: I'll tell you what started it all
Big Brother: the god damned star fish
Big Brother: all imitation and s**t
Big Brother: like oh we reflect the stars
Big Brother: and the dreams of man
Big Brother: nope
Big Brother: we are actually just fish
Big Brother: if you want to blame anyone blame them
Big Brother: cause the angler fish got the idea, oh yeah
Big Brother: stars
Big Brother: bright shiny things
Big Brother: and that's how they got their anglers
Big Brother: and all the little fish were drawn into their doom
Me: OR maybe the starfish are really aliens
Me: and that's why they are practically immortal
Me: And they brought mini stars with them
Me: and recruited the angler fish
Me: to do their bidding
Big Brother: it all makes sense now
Big Brother: there is treachery afoot
Big Brother: they are responsible for the bermuda triangle too i bet
Big Brother: distracting us with familiar shapes
Big Brother: and luring us into a false sense of security
Big Brother: waiting for their chance to strike
Me: It's all just part of an elaborate plan for the oceanic creatures to take over the land
Me: global warming is probably their fault
Me: Making the ocean level rise and all
Big Brother: 2012 is their uprising date
Me: But we're on to them now
Me: So now we can...stop them?
Big Brother: i don't think it's possible to stop them
Big Brother: they have been plotting this for a billion years
Big Brother: it's like how do you put a cork on death snape
Me: haha, yes
Me: So
Me: if we can't stop them
Me: Then...
Me: We help them!
Me: ...or just sit back and watch the show
Big Brother: i like that idea
Big Brother: although helping them could be fun too
Big Brother: what better way to eliminate the humans
Me: Death by sea stars
Big Brother: the ultimate fatality
Me: Maybe they can turn into shuriken at will
Big Brother: sea star shurikens
Big Brother: yikes
Big Brother: that is a scary thought
Big Brother: infinite ammo
Big Brother: and no one can use nukes on em cause they live all over the world
Me: We would have to destroy the entire planet in order to stop their revolution...It's such a perfect plan
Big Brother: mwuahahaha
Big Brother: defeat through offense and defense
Big Brother: there is no right answer cause they all die either way
Me: We would have to poison the oceans with something that was only toxic to the sea stars
Big Brother: sounds like chemical planning
Big Brother: biological warfare is mean
Me: Hey, they are the ones who started it
Big Brother: this is true
Me: But even so...they are near the end of their plan. We have less than two years to discover that toxin and then pollute the waters.
Big Brother: sounds perfect
Big Brother: when should we get started
Me: That depends. Do we want to actively attempt to stop them now?
Big Brother: or should we wait until next year right before they strike
Big Brother: or should we make it now and then wait until they do and then hold them all hostage
Me: I don't think they would care about hostages
Me: But I think it would be wise to first make the toxin
Big Brother: use it as a bartering item
Big Brother: and then sell it to the highest bidder
Me: Or decide who we want to allow the sea stars to take over and then systematically poison specific oceans/parts of oceans to leave only those we want alive left safe
Big Brother: ooooo even more perfect
Big Brother: and then sell the poison to the peopel we want to survive
Big Brother: we win the war, win who continues the blood line of the earth, and get rich all in one
Big Brother: it's genius
Me: Why thank you
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