eek we were getn along so freakin well. after he told me the truth....and after him flat out sayin he didn't want a relationship i felt much better. we even established that we care for one another and could b BFFz again. not that it waz hard, cuz i can't hold a grudge. then, this happenz......
Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:59 am
Subject: Re: hi
(him)
lol well...bad news then i'll prob be goin to bed alone due to something that i just did read....so...yea
(me)
wut did u just read that will make u go to bed alone?
~if u want to see exacty what he iz referin to, go to my journal entry before this one. pleaze NOTE THE DATE WRITTEN. itz the day after he dumped me that i created that posting.
(him)
well just this little bit...i know there r thoze of u out there that would totally call her not so nice namez. but u better not. cuz then "Jer would b forced to IGNORE U, though u were not LYIN like he Doez. "...mostly the little part that is in "...so...yea
~i'm kinda lost @ wut the big deal iz. i, once, refered to the lil girl that he told me stuff about az a twit and he disappeared on me. he asked me y i called her that based off of stuff she told me n skype. i told him. i explained it. but he still said i waz talkin badd. pffffffft.i mean, eghad. not like i called her somethin obscene or stated how her activitiez made her less than chaste/dishonorable. twit. TWIT?!?
(me)
2 weekz ago- u dumped me for....
not for eyez.
a girl at school.
becauze of our age difference.
becauze of our geographical distance.
becauze some girl called u that makez u
feel better than i did.
because u 'loved me' but were no longer 'in love w/me'.
yes, now for eyez.
two weekz ago, jeremy.
YOU
proposed to ME.
YOU
wanted a relationship w/ME.
YOU
made ME trust YOU.
YOU
convinced ME that i could b w/u
and that YOU wanted to b w/me.
so when i made my discoveriez 2 weekz ago, i dealt w/my disappointment this way. i don't go hidin n 'emo baby drama cornerz'
and i don't go callin someone off far and away to 'save me' or 'make me better.'
I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU. NOT AT ALL. so why do u feel the need to behave this way? w/o reazoning w/me? w/o explainin to me? did i lie at all? not once. and many have called ur fiancestealin gf namez for what she did to me. u gonna fault me for that?
u just don't want to get along w/me. fine. i get it. i will stop trying w/u.
cuz now i am heartbroken. thank you verry much, jeremy. i'm sorry i've been such a horrible bother.
i waz really feelin overwhelmed, hurt and confuzed by this. i just don't understand it.
and before i wrote this journal entry, i tried speakin w/him on the phone and someone n his household let him hide away instead of dealin w/the needless conflict that he cauzed. good heavenz! i don't understand how he iz letn issuez from our broken romance, intrude and create issuez for our friendship. one relationship, he already beat to death. y would he need to kill the friendship too?
he just told me that the perkz of bein BFFz again, we can say NEthing to 1 another w/o either of us getn mad. guess that, like everything else, onlly appliez to him when he wantz? wut am i suppoze to do? i don't get a blessed thing. if someone (i'd prefer it were him, but he likely won't even gander at this entry for another 2 weekz if at all) to explain what i'm missing. cuz if, IF I AM faulty- i'm not above attemptin to make amendz. even so, am i deludin myself? iz this gonna turn out to b the same thing that happened between rob and i? . good heavenz, i hope not! cuz i cant pretend about that..... that fool hurt me deep. i valued that friendship, even though i know it waz all on my side. now i'm just angry, cuz he feelz HE alone haz the right to pick and choose what happenz n our relationship. he doezn't tough. i won't allow him thoze freedomz NEmore.
VERRYBADDKITTYKAT Community Member 
|
|
