October 8, 2010
1:12 a.m.
I need to vent. These pent up emotions are going to be the death of me. I can feel my stomach tying itself in knots. I'm going to destroy myself with this confusion, anguish, and, oddly, guilt. Here goes nothing... I hope...
I have a new boyfriend. He's a sophomore and he's younger than me. Interesting wouldn't you say? He's smart, artistic, enthusiastic, music-appreciating, and a soccer player. I like him, but I don't know what will happen and that makes me on edge.
His parents seem like the opposite of me. Strict and demanding whereas I am free-flowing, passionate, and open-minded. This terrifies me. I don't know if they'll like me, or if they'll think I'm insane and a bad influence. It's a little think to worry about, but it's driving me insane!
On to more pressing matters.
I just found our a week ago that a friend of mine is in love with me. She even said she was transferring schools after I rejected her. Saying: "I can't deal with this pain any longer." I feel remorseful about this, but I stand firm with my emotions. I feel nothing more than a friendship towards her. It ties me in knots the things she says .
My stomach is quaking at this moment. I can't tell if it's disgust or grief. I feel like I'm about to vomit, but I also feel rather sad. I just hope this subsides soon, or I might actually vomit. And that wouldn't be good at this moment.
I Will Never Love You!
