I cried tonight. It's a terrible thing, crying. It shows you at your most vulnerable, and yet I did it without regards to the facade I always try to keep up. The happy-go-lucky, easily amused, always joking girl that I typically am vanished, replaced by tear-streaked cheeks and a lack of motivation. Sorrow is a, in my opinion, generally a gift instead of a curse. I find that in my own despair I can write well, write often, write descriptively. However, when I think about why I'm sad, why I feel like my heart is being ripped in several shreds, I can't help but feel slightly choked up. I'm allowing my feelings to remain posted to the internet for the world to know and ridicule or bless, but it's harder, nonetheless. Sins of the flesh complicate such matters though. Though my morale prevents me from ever fully giving myself up, it doesn't mean that I haven't stroked my curiosity, as well as some other things, on occasion. Of course, this love is unrequited, forcefully so. When the man who your heart is smitten for denies you, it's a feeling worse than anything else, even if he does so with you in interest and remains loyal as a friend. However, how long can one girl stand having a friend that she wishes was more than just that, especially knowing he feels the same albeit secret.
The title is Nobody Sees, an homage to the band who created the song, Powderfinger. It was the song that was on when I first started writing this entry and also because a line from it sticks out like a hagnail. "Nobody sees how our hearts break."
Perhaps wanting to help someone is nothing but a means of torture...
The title is Nobody Sees, an homage to the band who created the song, Powderfinger. It was the song that was on when I first started writing this entry and also because a line from it sticks out like a hagnail. "Nobody sees how our hearts break."
Perhaps wanting to help someone is nothing but a means of torture...
