EXCERPTS FROM DOG AND CAT DIARIES
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The Dog's Diary:
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
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The Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order
to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them,
I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little
hunter' I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement
for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell
the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors
by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow,
but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to
be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards
regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.
FireCat0 Community Member 
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