Currently listening to: Fearful - Hungry Lucy
What is life as a submissive like?
That question is difficult to answer.. Because everyone you ask will give you a different one. No two submissive's lives are ever the same.. Just as no two vanilla relationships are ever exactly the same. I can only answer from my point of view, based on my own personal experiences.. I can't answer the question outright, for everyone else. So, if you're content with just my personal answer, then here it is..
We're not that different from any other couple.. Or at least, not that different from other couples in the "old days" that is. My Master works a full time job, and is the breadwinner in our relationship.. I stay home and take care of the house, and all that that entails. I make his lunch each morning, fill his water bottle (he bikes to and from work) and then spend the rest of the morning nuzzling up to him and doing whatever it is he would like to do. Once he leaves for work, I relax until he calls to let me know he arrived safely.. Then I do some oddball straightening up before relaxing awhile longer. Once I'm fully awake and ready to get started, I shower, groom myself, then set about gathering up the dirty clothes. I fold the laundry and/or hang it all up if it has to be done that day. Recently, he has started setting a lunch time for me and giving me instructions on what to eat.. This ensures that I eat, as I often forget to otherwise. I clean the bathroom, kitchen, do the dishes and sweep/mop if needed. Then I settle down and await his call at lunch, or more important, await his call when he gets off of work. While he's coming home, I normally do any leftover cleaning that I have to do.. and then by that time, he is usually home and we spend the night together.
I compile lists if we need groceries, I balance the check book, I take care of the animals (he helps me when he's off though) and generally try to keep everything in the household my main concern.. So that all he has to focus on is work. He spoils me with gifts such as plushies, makeup, clothing or household items. If he wishes to go out, I follow willingly and let him lead me around, very happily. In a lot of ways, it's just an old fashioned relationship.. Only sometimes stricter. I am mostly a well behaved sub though, and do not often require punishment. I do mouth off sometimes, but I feel I have improved in this area and will continue to get better at it.. It is a trait which my Master surprisingly enjoys though, as he likes hearing my opinions and would not enjoy an eternally silent sub. When I am good, he reads to me at night and tucks me in.. Or I fall asleep at his side whilst he reads himself. He helps me dress and undress, he chooses my clothing for me (unless we're pressed for time) and helps me decide on hair styles and colors. If I have a bad habit, he helps to break me of it.. All the while encouraging me to always fully be myself with him, and to be fully open with him.
In the bedroom, I am entirely subservient to him, and do as I am told. I enjoy his dominating me, and look forward to the times when he is at his most sadistic. Not every time is rough though, even when we tenderly make love, his dominance never once wavers. He is fully in control of me, and I belong to him, in every single sense of the word. Normally, I pride myself in wearing an o-ring collar, however mine is frayed and broken.. Unfortunately cheaply made. My Master plans to order me a custom made collar very soon though, and I look forward to it very happily. : )
When I am bad, or mouthy, it can result in a "time-out" for me, which can be not being allowed to speak for a short time, or being ignored for a short time. When I have been bad enough, I have had to go into the closet.. Which always straightens me out. I am never punished for speaking my mind however, as my Master always wants to hear and weigh my opinions and feedback. Though I view him as my Owner, and I as his Pet/Little Girl/Submissive, we are both equal to each other when it comes to communication. If something needs to be said, or if we have issues, we talk them out.. and get through them together, as a loving couple.
Recently, we have started tentatively exploring another side to d/s.. d/lg, if you're unsure of terminology, simply google it, as I'm somewhat paranoid of violating Gaia's TOS if I spell out the latter for you in my journal.
This other side to our relationship is coming out slowly, but surely.. and it has helped me to feel even closer and more dependent on my Master.
Isn't dependency a bad thing?
No. I don't feel that it is. If you can honestly say that you have no emotional, physical or mental dependency on your significant other.. Then I don't feel that you truly are in love with them. You should feel some dependency.. I don't feel you should ever feel indifferent to the person, as that can be a very bad sign and a red flag that maybe this person is not for you. I am a openly obsessive and dependent person in relationships.. It does not mean I am unhealthy, mentally ill or that I have issues that have to be worked through. Everyone is different. I recognize detachment in a relationship as bad.. There should never be secrets or distance when you're with someone, or else you're not truly with them, in the true sense of the word.
You should feel like you don't want to lose them, like a huge part of your life would be missing if they left. You should feel lost if you lost them.. and most of all, you should feel as though they are the only one for you. You should want them, and only them. Wandering eyes are never a good thing.. If someone is acting detached towards you, that is not too great of a sign.
Dependency in a d/s relationship is bound to happen, as often they are even closer than most vanilla relationships. You place your life in the dom's hands, and often your mental as well as emotional well being. They push your limits, they give you orders, and they help to mold you into a better person.. Into the real and true you. So of course dependency on that person can result.. and I do not feel it should be avoided. In someone you are with feels you depend too much on them, maybe you should give second thoughts to that relationship.. Because if you cannot depend on your significant other, the person you choose to spend your life with and possibly start a family with, who can you depend on?
Any last comments?
So this, is my life as a submissive.
It may not be every person's definition, but it is my life.
My point of view, my relationship, my experience.
There is no wrong way, right way, or "true" way in this lifestyle.
Stay true to yourself, and to your Master/Mistress.
Paper Mache Dollfie
· Thu Dec 29, 2011 @ 06:51pm · 1 Comments