To let fully let you go after all we had. I just can’t fully accept it’s over, especially when I get so many mixed messages from you. It’s obivous I was never going to just forget what we shared or earase you from my life.
But I get so much confusion. That post I already wrote about gave me hope. Though everyone looked at it’s cover, I am one of the few who could look through the cover to actually know what was inside. But then I see a post that tells me I am wrong. Then you tell me to look beyond what I see. Haven’t I done that? Or am I looking through eyes too blurred by tears, thinking I am looking at the pages when I am really just seeing the cover?
This isn’t an attack, but do you really believe I never knew or was looking at your personality or actions? That you are/were “someone never really paid attention to figure out”? I think I knew you plenty, more so than a lot of people who think they know you. I knew you so much that I trusted your heart that that nothing would happen even though everything inside of me told me I wasn’t being told the truth. I put enough trust in your heart, your actions, and your personality that I put myself in the line of harm 4 times, when other’s would have left after the first.
But maybe this si just my slip as a person, my descent into nothing. I care for you and want you to be happy. I haven’t really talked with you cause you told me you find it hard to even be my friend. I have been giving you space so that you don’t have to stress our relationship. You said you know I will always be there for you the best I can, even if that isn’t much of anything.
Sorry I can’t be more. Sorry if I have changed so much that I am not even recognizeable. I tried to keep true to who I am, but couldn’t.
-someone who doesn’t deserve your time
 genbu noryb · Thu Mar 15, 2012 @ 08:07pm · 0 Comments |
