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ぜんぜん分からない。私は何をして?
A Rant About Depression and Chronic Pain
Hey!

So, this is a bit of a personal topic... so be warned I guess. Anyway, for the last er... since 2014 I have been unable to work due to a fit of extreme, and chronic pain that seems to have no explanation. It started in 2012ish and just snowballed from there. It SUCKS. Most days I just sit around my mum's house (since I can't work I was forced to move back home) and try to at least clean. Other days I cannot get out of my bed the pain is so horrible. I ain't no pansy either. This s**t sends muscle spasms right into my spine, and has taken my legs right out from under me. As a result I've re-acquired depression. I don't really feel 'sad' so much as I'd rather die than continue living in pain like this. I'd rather bite a bullet than have to rely on medication that hardly puts a dent in the agony I feel everyday. That's right. Some days it's worse, others it is better, but it never leaves! Ever. It is constant and sharp and there is nothing I can do about it... so I write. I try to do something. Maybe I'll end up somewhere grand, or in a ditch. At this point, it doesn't really matter to me. :/

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Rakashael
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