Hmm. I didn't want to leave on a depressed cliffhanger of depression or anything. I'm a bit drunk right now which isn't anything abnormal. So with the Iowa thing i'm of course fine now. It was just a weird part of my life. Like teens taking acid and learning life lessons maybe. I started drinking when I was 12 (and really, before then as well). Moving from a 5A school to a nothing school was really depressing. I made all the loner kids friends before I left and that did something I guess. Ahem. I started smoking when I was 14. I smoked cigarettes when I was 12. I started vaping in 2016. 3 years going now and I feel I can finally drop down to 0mg of nicotine and actually quit. I work at a beer and cigar shop now. I pay rent at my sisters place but live with my boyfriend. things will always be complicated. I want to take over the phone and car insurance bill that my mom still pays for. I want to stay at 'my' place more often but it's become a sort of hotel last time I tried staying 'uninvited' to the place I pay for... so i packed up a lot of s**t and I stay with my bf, his mom and brother. Of course I feel bad. But I feel even worse knowing my room and my bed and all my things have been used for friends of my sisters who just wants to stay over.. without me knowing.. and then of course my family looks to my older sister to talk to bc she plans everything.. being the youngest sucks. $440 a month for go ******** yourself, I guess. Things could be worse. If i was raised any different I'd be in prison for how mad I get at petty a** s**t like this. Prison sounds amazing compared to customer service sometimes. Sigh. I'm going to end on that note. Things are always better than what they were, but I'll die before they get perfect- even better- what I feel I deserve. s**t sucks out there but there's always a good side to everything. I have a roof over my head.