Well, first off, I finally turned 18 ^_^ it took forever to get here. Secondly...I cannot wait to be out of Michigan. It seems no matter how far I go, my small town manages to find me. I just spoke to my friend Brian, whom I didn't date because my best friend ((at the time)) was completely crazy over him. Now, any true friend would do that for their friend, but that's not the case anymore. I'm not reading too much into my birthday that was yesterday, but all of my teammates, who I haven't been the best of friends with wished me a happy birthday...hell, people who I hated even wished me a happy birthday. I can't wait till I'm away from here. I just want to run and never look back. I love my friends and family, but I feel like I've let them down with my life thus far and if I told them the truth about me it would crush them. I know running from my life isn't going to change anything, but it's the best I can do with the given circumstance. I don't know where I'm going to go, or where I want to go. I love my boyfriend very much, and he thinks that he loves me as well. We've gone through hell and high water to develop the relationship that we have and I don't want to hurt him, but I can't help but feel that...that's all I'm going to do. He's constantly reassuring me that I'm the world to him, but I can't help but feel that I'm eventually going to let him down to the point that things just diminish. I know there's so much behind this...-laughs- Here I'm trying to get out how I feel along with the reasoning behind it, and all I did was tell how I feel without any implication as to why. It's so hard...sometimes I just wish it would end...
Mrs Lexxy DragonBringer · Wed Sep 20, 2006 @ 05:27pm · 0 Comments |