Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I've started so many damn religions.

First was one I don't remember much of, but it involved attempts to dig an underground city, standing around facing north, and running around in circles chanting to a pantheon of werewolves.

Then there was COWTAD, Citizens Obsessed With The Almighty Dilbert. We worshipped Dilbert and Scot Adams, and I was Saint Dogbert, cheif and founder of the order.

Then there was the Order of the Inflatable Cow. We hung an inflatable cow from the ceiling and put welding goggles on it. You couldn't see them from the ground and had to take on faith that the cow wore welding goggles. I was High Preistess of the Cow, and the rest of the group were Paladians of the Inflatable Cow, and we all went around putting scotch tape with cow spots on it on people.

Now I'm Saint Aardvark The Carpeted of the Church Of The Technicolour Thursday. I'm the patron saint of Voided Warrenties and cannonized for miracle-healing of appliances. In the Church of the Technicolour Thursday, everyone has the ability to cannonize themselves, as long as they can come up with an entertaining name and pantronage and think of a mantra. Mine is "Spectaculum carrisimum est Medicus Quisman": My favourite show is Doctor Who. The Church of the Technicolour Thursday advocates geekiness in all its forms and encourages members, should they meet him, to urinate on Jack Thompson's brainstem. The Church of the Technicolour Thursday represents the veneration, obession over, erotic longing for and/or hero worship of any and all fictional characters the member so desires. This is a superior system because at least we know our gods are fictional.