Ok then. To those of you who have kept up on my journal entries I thank you kindly. You all know how bad things have been since december into this new year. Well now, ufortunately, I have yet another thing to add to the crap called the new year.....
My mother called me this morning and said she had to tell me something about gram (my grandma). Now, gram had quite a few health problems. She's in her mid-60's and has: Diabetes, kidney failure, high blood pressure etc etc and has already had a few heart attack-like episodes and been in and out of the hospital over the past year. I assumed whatever was wrong it had to do with her heart or her kidneys.
So my mom tells me this crazy story about how gram went missing for over 24 hrs....WHAT!?!?!?!? Apparently my mom tried to get in touch with her yesterday morning and couldn't. She tried calling all day and came over to her house several times trying to find her, hoping she didn't have a heart attack or a diabetic shock/coma episode. No luck.
This morning my mom had enough and was frantic so she called the hospital to see if she was there and low and behold she was. They wouldn't tell my mom anything so she drove over and found grams hospital room.
There she was, sitting up in bed like things were fine. My mom asked her what the hell she was doing there and why didn't she call to let someone know. Well, gram doesn't like to worry people so she was taking care of things herself and didn't wat to tell my mom what was wrong. After some coaxing she finally admitted she had had surgery yesterday morning at 8am. "Why" my mom asked, "What for?".....Finally gram started to cry a little and said.......cancer.......My grandma, who I love ever so dearly and who means the world to me had breast cancer and knew for 2 weeks without telling anyone. She was in the hospital having both breasts removed. She planned on doing it alone and keeping it a secret.
As my mom was telling me all this I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't get up to get air. I just kept thinking oh my god, I could've lost her and not known why. She means everything to me. I kept trying to speak but couldn't get the words out. My chest was tight, and actually still is. I found this out about 10am today.....
Apparently they're pretty sure they got all the cancer out and she should be fine. She's handling it quite well and the loss of her breasts doesn't seem to phase her much. Ever the tough trooper she said she's old, has no husband/bf so not having them is no biggie.
So there you have it. Things aren't the greatest.
*EDIT*
Mom just called after seeing gram again. She's getting worse from this morning. She's constantly throwing up and can't even keep water down. The doctor said she HAS to have lots of fluid for her bad kidneys or they'll start shutting down which in essence could kill her.....So right now it's a waiting game to see if she's going to make it through this now since she's getting worse.
God, I don't know what I'll do if I lose her........ crying
 ~ NIHL ~ · Thu Feb 17, 2005 @ 08:30pm · 2 Comments |
