This was supposed to be a suicide note... but I couldn't do it last night...
Locked up secret emotions...locked up and kept from the eyes of others...cherished and sealed in a vast sea of tears and sorrow. Your only escape; your only hope lost; taken away in the still of the night... gone like a drifting breeze whistling through the cries of others; others like you.
What one must endure day by day...each passing moment in time. I too walk this path towards the depths of Hell...what one must forget to remember...I had forgotten most that is precious to me...so that I can remember all the hard-ships...all the pain and sorrow to grow strong...However, such power grows the body as it shrinks the soul...so my brothers and sisters; I tell you this once; fight with a friend at your back, steel in your hands, and the magic of love in your veins.
Guys like myself; have a hardened 'shell' with fragile flesh beneathe...and the first blow is the most important; for it often negates the need for a second. It is so easy for one to leave a loved one hehind when feeling hurt or alone; it is hard to hold your head up with a smile and remember the good times...happy times...moments that are dear and true to yourself.
I have failed in a relationship yet again...finding someone I can relate to...and took her love for granted...something I said I would ne'er do again. Let the air itself protect you; for it is everywhere...in time of war inside yourself; it is always a good thing to remind yourself that your life is but a breeze in the wind...so prepare yourself for a lot of sweat and tears...I speak for those of you whom cannot...this world is cruel and dark; but you must arm yourself with a soft heart; full of compassion and trust; the world needs it now more than ever.
If you have come to a point in your life where you lock yourself in a dark room and cry; hoping to fix everything with tears...I understand...You feel alone...isolated; and you don't know why...you just want everyone to leave you alone to wither away in your own pit of shame...saying things like "Here I sit; cold and alone, and the fault is none but my own..." You feel like everyone is out to get you...and noone wants you around...I know...I feel the same way!
All you care about...your most sacred...she leaves; walks out the door without remorse. I'd play a soft...almost haunting song for you...but then I'd start to cry too. You can't fight the tears that aren't coming; nor can you hold back all the tears that are already here...good-bye...my love.
Shugo~Tatsumaru Community Member 
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