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Valentines... is near. DARN. THIS ENTRY IS ABOUT LOVE, OKAY!
Valentines. NO! I'm not excited!

I'm not like some person with a boyfriend/girlfriend who is excited about all this lovey-dovey stuff.

In fact, I HATE this stupid holiday. It makes people without dates feel bad. It's stupid. I don't have anything against Saint Valentine or anything, but it's the purpouse of th holiday I'm ranting about.

Wah. I hate this.

You're right, I've never had a boyfriend in my entire life. Yep. And I'll probably NEVER have one.

sad

Yes, I am sad. VERY SAD.

Actually, I STALK my crushes. Yeah. I do that.

No. Nevermind. You probably don't want to hear about my darned love story. It's quite corny, really.

rolleyes

Did you know, I still play "PRETEND". Yep. Ever since I was a kid, I played pretend... each story I 'create' has a love story in it.

You see that? I'm just some hopeless dreamer.

stare

NO! Don't comfort me with your darned words! I don't need them! mad

In fact, I DON'T CARE. Seriously. You would never see me mad like this.

Jeez.

I don't know... I'm in love... but.

Yeah, maybe I should tell you the whole story.

...

Don't tell anyone.

neutral

Ok... here goes...

When I was in Grade 5 (I was about 11 years old...), we had this UN program (it was on an October, duh).

Each batch would have a country assigned to them, and they'd make dance about it.

Grade 5 had the country of Kenya. Grade 6 had the country of Australia.

And so, it was the day of the performance. There was this Grade 6 guy that was chosen to announce some stuff...

I looked at him. I have never seen him before. He must've been a new student. (Yeah, I practically KNEW everyone there...)

I looked weirdly at him. After that, we performed. Then, they performed. Wow. Their dance was good.

After the presentations, we all went to our classrooms to eat. Then, when it was dismissal time, we ran off to the main gate, and I saw him there. He was just standing there... as if he was waiting for someone to see him.

You can call it love at first sight. It's really quite silly... I don't know. It's like my heart tricked me into falling for him... falling for a complete stranger.

So, I spied on him to get to know him better. I figured his name was "Danmar" (I CAN'T PUT THIS ON FRIENDSTER... YOU GAIANS ARE EVEN LUCKY TO MAKE ME TELL YOU GUYS THIS STORY)... and he was such a quiet guy.

But then, rumor spread fast (I kinda told one person about this and... it spread...) until Danmar himself knew that I secretly crushed on him.

Starting that day, I began to be gloomy and depressed. I never wanted him to know. Or... maybe I did, but I wanted to know him first...

Everyday I see him, then if he looks, I hide. It went on... every single day til I was in the sixth grade.

And so, on the sixth grade, we had this darned field trip. (first year and grade six share one bus...) The darned rumors spread even to our teachers, so our darned teacher made me and Danmar sit together.

It was so awkward... no conversation, no sharing of stories... not one of us wanted to even look at each other.

And so the trip ended. It was TORTURE. It was such an awkward silence we shared on that bus seat.

I couldn't help but cry after that.

So, the next day...

There's this girl. I won't say her name... but she's his classmate. She walked up to me and smiled.

"So, you like Danmar?"

I just nodded.

"I see. So we're enemies from now on."

Darn her. I was shocked.

I ran straight to our classroom and sobbed alone.

Yep.

So... now that I'm in first year high school, I was transferred into this all-girl's exclusive school.

Yep. It was quite lame at first... since there were no guys and all. But I felt free there.

It was so strict in my old school. Yep. But in my old school, I was always in the honor roll. Always praised. Always smart. People don't understand that I'm normal too. They don't understand that some are smarter than me. They get surprised whenever I make mistakes, since I'm so smart and all. But I'm not a Goddess. I'm not oh-so-immaculate that I don't commit any mistakes. They cheered me on... and this made me claim the title of "Valedictorian". I claimed my award, shook hands with my principal... and it was over. I wasn't going to see him again. EVER.

I used to be popular there. But here, I'm normal. Treated equally. In fact, everybody's treated as an equal. I like that.

But now... being confined in this all-girl's school made me realize how silly I was.
Falling in love with someone I don't really know?
If my prayers all got answered, then what? It would still be awkward.

And so... I let go. I hated him from then on. I hated him for making me waste valuable time on him.

But... every night, whenever I dream... he's always there... loving me, chatting with me, caring for me. It's like I know him... and he knows me. And we were close... but that's only in my dreams...

So everytime I wake up in the morning... I question myself, "Do I still love him?"

Then I answer, "Only time will tell..."

Then I ask myself, "Does he love me?"

Then I answer again, "What wrong timing. Jeez."

But if he seriously does... I think I'm gonna think about it.

Though... I still have no Valentine.



cry

I hate love.
It makes you have feelings for some unexpected person...
And you don't even know if he loves you back or not.

It's stupid. Its like a game....






User Comments: [2] [add]
eluzabeth
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Feb 05, 2007 @ 03:33am
;~;


Poor Julia.

Let's hate the opposite sex forever.

And ever.

Your entry was very well-put.

*nods*

I fear that
I've been just as stupid as many other girls like you and all stalky
I'VE BEEN TRICKED BY EVIL MEN AND THEIR HORRIBLE BEAUTY!

D:<

I actually had a "boyfriend" once in the 6th grade.

And I've learned to hate him cos of all the time I spent wishing that he'd notice me.
Only to realize that he liked me too and asked me to "go out withh him"
And it was
VERY AWKWARD INDEED.

*praises Julia's words*


Stupid Valentine's Day.

And stupid teachers of yours.


u___________u


commentCommented on: Mon Feb 12, 2007 @ 09:51am
;_; Aww.

I can't really say anything, since I have a boyfriend, but I know what it's like still yet. I remember my first crush. -_- I was so stupid. (If you want to know about it, PM me asking.)

Anywho, I still hate Valentines Day. I'm going to end up spending it alone, like every other Valentines Day I've ever lived through. crying It's alright, though. I got used to it.

There is this one guy whom I want to kill for practically ruining my life. He gon' die. And you know what? His girlfriend went off to college in Washington, and 'fell in love' with another guy, and slept with him. When I heard the news, I laughed SO hard. He got what he deserved. twisted

And that's all for my little comment/rant for you.



Killing Perfection
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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