Note to carry throughout this entry: My boyfriend's cousin was supposed to go to juvey but my boyfriend's mom bailed him out. My boyfriend wasn't sure what to expect but seems to be getting along okay with his cousin. I, from the time I first met/heard of him ( like yesterday sweatdrop ), decided to give him the chance to show he was just a normal guy. I was basically promising myself not to judge him...which I think some of my friends did but I think they're over it now....
So here 't goes...
I found out today that once in a while my boyfriend um...drinks. And had some alchohol the other night with one of our friends and his cousin... at first I was mad then I was upset 'cause I'm *straight-edge, that's an important part of me and I won't hide it. My boyfriend talked to me and found out it made me uncomfortable and, like the understanding guy he is, told me if it bothered me he wouldn't do it anymore. He is so...gentle and kind...not that I can, you know, say that to his face....I can't even say it to my friends... sweatdrop too bad he doesn't have a gaia account... I feel guilty that I got rapped-up in the ussumption of my friends that my boyfriend's cousin is a bad influence. I tried to say he was really a cool guy...but then they told me about the alchohol and I took back anything I was going to say. cry I feel so bad. I'm going to make my other friends apologize with me to him tomorrow...he looked so hurt/depressed at the end of the day and I get the inkling it's all my fault...I'm so insensitive sometimes.
*straight-edge~a belief of no drugs, no alchohol, no pre-marriage sex.
The top reasons I'm straightedge:
4.) My dad's best friend died from smoking and so did my grandpa
3.) My dad has a drinking problem whether he or my mom admits it or not and it scares me sometimes...so much I wish I could dissapear or drown in my own pool of tears
2.) The cousin of my mom's I'm named after died of drug overdose
And the #1 reason I'm straightedge:
I'm scared of what others will do when drunk, high, etc...
How horrified do you think I'de be after or while I was high or drunk or whatever?
I can't explain the deepest roots of while I'll stay straightedge...that's just too deeply rooted to dig up...I don't know what I'd do if I did dig those up...
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