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My Gaia Journal of DOOM This is where I put all of my random thoughts and whatnot.


Dream Follower
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3 comments
Stuff?
Whoot whoot? I've decided to use my journal as a spot to put all of my new poems that I write. :3

Huzzah for this? >>;

Aaanyway...I'll only post ones I think suck and leave the rest hidden somewhere in the world. O:

Here's my newest poem and the first ballad I have ever written. Please comment~


Ballad of Lovers

The passionate embrace of true loves
The sound of their entwined hearts ring.
A soft, light kiss here and there,
Their voices happy as they sing.

Her crimson dress spins and twirls
As his slim white suit remains the same.
They dance throughout the night,
Their own true love to blame.

Together they shall live
And together they shall die.
Together they shall laugh
And together they shall cry.

The bright full moon shines down
As the lovers continue to dance.
Their exhaustion is apparent
Yet they never miss a stance.

They slowly tire as their feet slow,
Their sweat glistening in the light.
Silently they agree for one last dance
As they ascend into their graceful flight.

Together they shall live
And together they shall die.
Together they shall laugh
And together they shall cry.

When they finish they stop quietly,
Only their breathing in the air.
They each nod once as they embrace.
The moon-drenched, love-stricken pair.






User Comments: [3]
Annistyn
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comment Commented on: Sat Apr 14, 2007 @ 06:24am
*is jealous* It was awesome!


comment Commented on: Sun Apr 15, 2007 @ 02:17am
The rhyme is too...direct-ish? It distracts me from the actual poem...."Sacrificing the poem for the rhyme" as my creative writing teacher said. xD
Maybe make the rhymes more....what'sitcalled...."indirect"?
Like Dream and Lean instead of Cat and Hat.



[Odango]
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Mysticalpchan
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Sun Apr 15, 2007 @ 02:20am
I honestly don't know anything about ballads ect. ^-^ But this is still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than what I could ever do so kudos from me! x3


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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