I hate it when this happens.
I have so many people near me, yet I feel inevitably alone. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest while it continues to steadily beat at a painful rate. My shoulders feel heavy, so heavy that it hurts. My legs feel weak, without energy. My neck feels like it has the whole worlds troubles stacked on top of it, and it's dragging me down. And my chest just feels... like it's in pain. I feel so alone, and yet I just spoke to my bf, and a friend of mine shall be coming over soon to spend the night. I know about a fifth of the people at my school, and yet that thought doesn't comfert me. I feel like running into a corner and crying, but the tears won't come. I feel like I can't fall asleep, but with all of this pain I wish I could, just to escape it. What the hell is wrong with me? Being pained like this without explanation. What do I do at times like these? I feel like I'm stuck in a box, one that is too small, keeping me from breathing or moving about freely. I feel cramped and sufficated. My head is muddled and I can't think straight. This puts me in a rather odd position, because I do not know what to do or how to handle this. Even my fingers, typing away, feel like they're losing energy every second. I don't even feel like reading or playing video games, let alone finishing the dishes or cleaning my room, or doing the homework that I NEED to do right now.
I remember how before I felt like this almost all the time, but I haven't really felt this way for a long time... for it to suddenly spring back up on me, almost makes me afraid that I'll turn into the same person I used to. I have friends that are actually suffering, yet they keep smiling. I'm able to do that most of the time. So why do I feel this way now?
 shadow never seen · Sun May 06, 2007 @ 02:26am · 2 Comments |
