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Name: Raine.
Username: iEmo_Strawberry_Waffle
Age: 18
In real life, you are: In love.
On gaia, you are: Taken.
You believe: I rarely get asked what I believe in and why. Well, I believe that everyone you meet comes with a lesson they want to teach you. Every person you met has a lesson, or something you learned from them. If you would have asked me before what I believed in, I would have shrugged and gave a simple, "I don't know."
You know when you go through family photos, and you see yourself and say things like: Ew, I'm so ugly? Actually, I believe that you were never ugly, it's just your excuse of why you changed. Your appearance changed, and your perspective changed. When you do something dumb, and look back on it and say that you were dumb, it doesn't mean that you were, it's just at the time it seemed like a good decision.
I believe that all people have a purpose. Even those like me, who suffer with depression have purpose. The thing about being depressed is that you aren't emo, it's just the fact that you have a purpose you don't see. And When you can't see your purpose, and you think the world is against you, you feel alone.
For me, it took the person I love to tell me that I mattered, and that he cared. It took that. Because for me, it felt as if he was against me, and it took him to tell me otherwise. With the little speech he gave me, it changed my world. You don't understand what affect people have on you until you lose them.
I see people get knocked down everyday, and for a long time, that was me. Until I decided that it was time that I meant more than that. That no matter what people said about me, I still had those who cared. And those mean the world today.
I had a math teacher, who taught me that you can show in many ways you care about a person. He teased the people he found interesting. That happened to be me. He scared because he cared. That saying stuck with me all this time.
I think a lot of people will walk in and out of your life, but the ones that matter most never leave. That's what I believe.
The last thing I believe is that you need to be strong, and learn lessons from those who hurt you, because what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I also want to say that you never want to ever rise above to sink again. Never look back, just keep going forward, if someone has hurt you, never go back to them, because assholes never change.
Your History on Gaia is: Well, I was about, fourteen when I joined Gaia. I was dumb, I can tell you that. I can admit I was dumb. I was stupid, and I didn't know what I was doing, and I was childish. I loved attention, too. I still kinda do, but I get plenty now.
I think on Gaia you grow with age. It took me to learn that. Back when I was fourteen, I'd do actions with the ** symbol. Now I hate that. It annoys me, because people don't have good enough vocabulary to tell someone how they're feeling. It's stupid.
When I was fourteen, I dated this guy, and I'm actually dating him now, but I learned my lesson from him, and I'm keeping that lesson inside, so if it happens again, it won't be the same anymore.
When I turned fifteen, I got a huge GAIA out burst and I was on here all the time, until the middle of the year when I didn't have time, so I got off. I really wasn't on Gaia for that period.
I came back later, to find everyone and everything I knew had changed, and it was scary. I felt resentment for not coming on sooner, but I couldn't do anything. I think I was sixteen at this time. But, a lot changed, and things got hectic, but that's where I am right now.
Your history in real life: Well, when I was a child, my father and mother both were drug addicts, and I lived in the middle. But, what made things easier was the fact that I had an other brother, and let me tell you, my brother is quite the man.
When I was four, my father left my mom and us and we were stuck in a house we couldn't afford. Then my mom fell in love with a man. His name was Robert. I hate this man still today. He was a constant alcoholic, and never stopped drinking after I moved out. My mother is still making the same pathetic excuse.
Well, when I was seven I got a call from my Grandma on my Father's side. My father was sober, and she didn't lie. When I came to her house, my father was a sober, hard-working man. He still is. When I have a son, I want him to be the man that my father is. My father is an honestly good man.
Well, when I was fifteen, I got a huge crush on a guy about five or six years older than me. I thought I loved him, and he saw that. He toyed with me, and played me like a violin. I soon learned that he was good at playing violin's, because he had fooled his ex-wife before me. That pissed me off. I think to this day that I could maybe be nice to him, but I wouldn't like it. And I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him for what he did to me.
I was depressed after that. I didn't want to pick myself up, then I met a guy the same age as me, I still know him. He is the most amazing guy who means a ton to me. I will never forget him or betray him in anyway all my life. He saved me when I couldn't have been saved. He helped me up when no one else would.
I also met my current best friend during this time. She is the greatest person I think I have ever known besides that man. She is the greatest person in the world. I love her with all my heart, and she is like my soul sister. I hope our friendship never dies out. She is the greatest person I have ever met.
But today, I feel content with myself, which I haven't felt in years. I feel like everything is fine. If the world were to stop today, I would be fine. Thank you for reading behind the avatar.
