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The Truth about me

Hi everyone! Everyone calls me something different on Gaia: Zara, Zarame, Kiki, Kyra, b***h, b*****d, and other things, but I will be Kiki for today. You see my friend Enishi made a little story for his Gaia character the other day (the very other day) and just awhile ago it got me thinking. If he can make one then so can I. So here I am writing some random crap on this journal entry hopping that someone would read it. So in this story I am Kiki. I may use some of my friends and what they did for or against me in here to move my story along but I will not use your names, unless you want me too. I'll name you something different so you won’t kill me later. Anyway here I go, tell me how many errors are in this and please comment, if you don't I don't see the point of continuing the story if there is no audience to read it. Thank you for listening to me ramble, and please enjoy. (And a special thanks to all that supported me in this creation! I couldn’t have done it without your support!)

I am Kiki, yes I know my journal has a stupid introduction, but let me say that my story is not stupid by any standard. Well to those who don't know me it might, but please let me continue.

In this world which I live and continue living in, I have been, tortured, sent to the cutter, cried, felt sudden joy, loved, and made many friends, but a lot of people don't know me. If you ever heard me cry in agony, or hear me ramble about the death and the Ice Mother, you might have a little understanding of the pain. If you seen my cry in happiness, and laugh freely, you may have seen the joy, the sadness is hard to explain, but wanting to meet my end, and pleading with the cutter explains it quite well, but the memories and the experiences are a mystery.

You see, I was abandoned on the side of the road and left to die by whoever owned me. A lot of you may think that it is how a normal tragic story goes, and that it is a usual occurrence to leave your child on the side of the road, I assure you that it isn't, well, at least I hope it isn't. I was found by the Ice priestess, named Lily, who became my surrogate mother, and I was named Kiki from the little red ribbon that was wrapped around my baby bundle.

Lily took my back to the Xue (“snow” in Chinese) Sanctuary, where priests and especially priestesses are taught of the magic of ice, snow, cold, and death. Death, sadly, is the one thing that drives people away from the cold; for the warmth is always alive, but the cold is frozen, lost in time. When you die your body turns cold, then is eaten away by the elements; for these reasons the Xue Sanctuary is not a popular choice to scholars. That is where I was raised, taught and shown right from wrong, but it wasn't until the age of four that I knew why there weren't a lot of us here at the Xue Sanctuary.

Death, the main reason why no one was here had found me, invading my dreams and killing all I knew. Only those who were strong, or raised with this could handle it. I screamed and cried but I never reached the awakening. I was forced to stay there and watched my friends, Lily, everything die. I woke up screaming, Lily was already up telling me that it was alright that it wasn't only me.

From then on I was taught how to see, spirits, auras, and death as it would sneak up on its victims. I was taught to leave one hand out when I sleep so the spirits could communicate with me and warn me, but this also lead to attacks when I was killed stabbed and raped while dreaming. Some of this training was much too harsh on me, that is when I found the cutter, I just had saw to many things; all the death, the blood, the souls, they spoke they talked to me, and I needed the release. I was weak and still am weak to the cutter, though after one cut I always put the knife down. The knife sits next to my bed still luring me when I am screaming inside in agony. I was the first time I actually saw the pure flow of my own blood.

Soon, at the age of 8, I meet him, my best friend and still to this very day. He was brought to the Xue Sanctuary when our fellow sanctuary was burned by a bunch of brutes who thought that we all did witch craft and that we should burn at the stake. He was one of the only survivors; there were others, but only a few. He was taught to fight, unlike us. It was a surprise to me to see him practicing out in the court yard.

I would have to say he was my first crush, but it was so funny when he slipped on the ice. He was the same age as me, actually 2 years older, his black shoulder length hair and his piercing silver eyes always caught my attention in the crowds. He had a thin tall build and was about 5ft… I think. I would everyday sit in the courtyard and watch him and study while he practiced. It was after a week he actually walked over and talked to me. He did take notice of me a lot earlier, on the third day he was a little suspicious, but he just sort stared at me, though unminding if I watched.

“Hi Kiki, isn't it, I sort of noticed that you been well watching me, do you, uhh, come here often." He put on a sly grin.

I was startled and looked up from my book; I was so shy it was a miracle that I ever said a word, "uhh, yes, I do..." I flushed up, "sorry"

He started down at me in alarm, “For what there isn't anything wrong with watching, it isn't a crime, Kiki," he smiled, " I guess it is kind of nice to have a audience." He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

It toke the second time to realize he knew my name, "Wait how do you know my name?"

He froze up, it was his turn to blush," Well I asked the other guys, and they told me. They told me a lot about you actually."

“About how evil I am and beat then with flying ice balls bashing them into the wall, or about the snowball war when I threw a yellow snow ball into one of the guy’s mouths."

He laughed at that," No, but it is good to know I'll make sure to stay away from flying yellow snowballs."

This continued on for a while, he ended up watching me practice my spells. I asked him to teach me how to fight a while later on the deal that I would teach him spells, though, he never quite got them; they would always mess up at the last moment. He always joked about my progress in fighting would always be the same rate as his spells. The girls always joked about him being perfect for me, despite being two years older. They always said that we were just like a couple. There assumptions where only confirmed when my birthday came.

My birth date was given as the day that Lily had found me. I guess he had found out about mine, probably asking my friends, and snuck into the girls’ dorm and said happy birthday to me. Of course I had already found out about his, but his was far off. He brought me a present, it was the first time I received a present from someone other than Lily who got me something special every year. One year it was a doll the next it was a jewelry box, I never knew what I was going to get.

He I guess tried to give it to me during the day, but I was sent to see the High Priest with Lily. She was chosen to meet up with the Prince of the Negerlands, who was starting a council of priests and priestesses. Lily was said to leave tomorrow morning in a carriage. I didn’t wish her to go, especially, a day after my birthday, but I bowed and we went back to our quarters. There she gave me my birthday present. It was small and wrapped in a beautiful white silk that she had bought on one of her trips to the Spiderlands. I undid the knot and inside was a little egg. The egg was royal blue with purple strips surrounding it and was the height of my thumb. I stared at her, puzzled. She smiled and tucked some her lose brown hair behind her ear.

“This is no ordinary egg, I had gotten on myself when I was your age and I still have mine,” Lily pointed to a little jewelry box on the shelf that had almost the same carvings as the one she had given to me at one of my previous birthdays. She walked over and toke it off the shelf and then sat beside me; she opened the box and inside was a little white egg that was about the same size, cushioned by red velvet padding. “Supposedly, if you are in ever a need of help, or in any danger, the egg will hatch and reveal your guardian. I believe it as true but I was never was in such a need that it would hatch” She smiled, her hazel eyes where glowing.

“Is this why you gave me the jewelry box last year?” I asked and grabbed mine from under the bed. It looked exactly like hers, except mine was blue and purple like my egg and hers was white and red.

“Yeah partly, the other reason is that I thought it was cute.” she giggled, “Well I better go back to praying, I have to make them quick so I can get any sleep. Happy Birthday dear!” She put the jewelry box back on the self.

“Good night sister. May the goddess watch over you tonight.” I smiled and carefully put the egg and the jewelry box under my bed.

“Good night daughter,” Lily then left to go pray in the temple, a thing she did every night before bed.

I quickly grabbed my dairy from my night stand. Well it isn’t really a diary, it’s a story that I write, filled with magical tales of warriors and demons and how a group of friends can conquer all in the end even when the dark pursues them. I was about to write the part where the heroine trips in front of the emperor and accidently breaks his lamp, when I heard a taping at the window. It startled me enough to splatter some ink from my pen onto my pants, which I knew from experience that the stain would be difficult to remove. I looked over to see Kyros smiling at me with a huge grin on his face, in his pajamas in the January weather probably freezing his butt off. It is very painful, for I suffered from experience of what it is like to have a frozen butt. What!?! Don’t mock me! It is not my fault to have my spell backfired. Yeah keep laughing, you just wait. Okay, now I have that settled, I’ll continue. I let him in thinking that he would catch frostbite if I didn’t and he climbed in.

“What are you doing, do you want to get yourself frozen,” I shrieked silently to not alert the girls who were probably sleeping by now.

“Oh come on now, give me a break, I just didn’t want my birthday gift to go to waste.” He shrugged.

I stood there dumbfounded and the whole time I thought there was something wrong.

“It is you birthday, right?”

“Yeah, but why didn’t you wait until tomorrow, I mean it is freezing outside.” I sat back down on the bed.

“I really don’t know; I wanted to give it to you early but the head priest called you and your mom so I didn’t get the chance, and it just didn’t feel right giving it to you tomorrow, so I told Ted to cover for me and snuck over here.” Ted was his roommate, a nice guy, but he used to make fun of me because I was younger, but then I put a spider in his shirt and he never bothered me again. Actually we became good friends, but I really don’t suggest putting spiders down people’s shirts as a way to make friendship.

“Oh okay, thank you then, but you really didn’t have to.”

“I told you I wanted to come, so do you want to see the present or not? I don’t know how long Ted can cover for me back at the dorm?” I nodded and he sat down next to me. He pulled out a little box from his pocket, which was in a pretty shade of green. I reached out to take the present he was going to give me when he suddenly gasped, staring directly at the cuts on my wrists, which were usually hidden when I wore my daytime clothes.

“What happened to you? Who did this?” he said in alarm.

“I did?” I didn’t understand then what was wrong because to me it was like biting your nails. I knew a lot of people at the Xue Sanctuary and I knew Lily used to see the cutter as well, but to Kyros it was an outrage.

He glared at me, “Why did you do this?”

“Because of my dreams, the spirits have been getting restless lately, especially with Mrs. Howardson's Death’s Shadow being seen. You were there to when we saw it.” I said calmly.

“What are you talking about Kiki? I mean I was with you when we saw Mrs. Howardson, but I didn’t see any “Death Shadow” what has gotten into you!?! What spirits!?!” he stood up and glared down on me and folded his arms.

“You mean you don’t see them?” I stared up in shock.

“See What?! All I know is that you tried to kill yourself!!” He pointed at my wrists and thru the box against the ground.

“No I didn’t, it was just a way to get relief.” I looked away tears in my eyes.

“No it is a “Way” to die! I can’t take it any more I am leaving!” He turned his back and stormed out.

“Wait” but he didn’t stop. I picked up the box and followed in pursuit. It toke much longer then he did to get thru the window and when I finally got out there, the chill was so strong. I should’ve grabbed shoes before I ran out. I ran after him, until I tripped over a ledge that had been concealed in the snow. I felt a sharp pain in my ankle but I ignored it, “Wait”

He finally stopped and turned toward me, his face filled with anger, “Go Rot With Your DEATHs SHADOW!!” and he ran off. I sat there unable to move, trying to get over the fake that he suddenly hated me. I didn’t understand that my simple cuts could make him so angry. I reached out and grabbed the little green box that had fallen in the snow when I tripped, and carefully opened it. It was filled with battle amulets; they had the same marks as the ones that Kyros had shown me, a choker, a pin, a pair of earrings and a hair pin. They each bore a symbol bearing a skull and a bunch of snowflakes. Inside the boxes lid the name “Dawn” was embroided into the green fabric in gold letters. There was also a note folded into a little square so that it could fit inside the box. I carefully unfolded it and read the note:


January 22
Dear Kiki,

Hey can’t you believe that it has been about a year sense I meet you! You know if you weren’t here it would have been so much harder after everyone died. If you weren’t here I still would’ve been depressed. You are like a sun, you know, and don’t say that I would’ve been happy even if you weren’t there cause even if Ted is a good friend he still wouldn’t compare. You are my best friend, and thank you.

Well finished with all the awkwardness, I can’t believe I wrote that. I told you that I had an older sister right. Well her name was Dawn she was a great fighter and we had these made for her. Sadly before she reached her 9th birthday she died and well these where hers. Don’t you dare give them back saying that they’re too valuable! It has been 4 years sense then and all they been doing is gathering dust, and besides you have been working so hard that you deserve them. Well, anyway see you around Kiki, and Happy 9th Birthday!

From,
Kyros

P.S. don’t rag at me latter about how embarrassing this letter is because I know

Before I had finished the letter I started crying. I carefully refolded the letter and put back in the box. I then shoved it in my pocket. Every time I tried to stop crying or thought about Kyros or what he did made me cry harder. After a few minutes I mindlessly got up and started walking back to my dorm, tripping and falling in the snow making barley any progress, but I kept trudging and crying. It was past midnight before I finally got back to the dorm and crawled in through the window and crawled into bed and cried till I fell deep asleep.

I woke up with the sound of Lily creaking the door open and the creaks of the floorboards as she tip toed in. I rolled over and looked at her and stared at her until she had noticed that I had woken up spite her efforts.

“Sorry, I forgot something, didn’t want to wake you.” Then she stared at me with a puzzled expression, “Are you feeling okay?”

I felt really light headed, every part of my body throbbed especially my ankle, my throat was completely parched, and my eyes where sore, but I didn’t tell her that I just let out a crocked, “I feel fine, let me get up and see you off.”

“Are you sure you are a little flush?”

“I am fine” She then left to finish packing and I got ready, getting dressed brushing my hair out of its almost unmanageable state into a thing of decency, and few log gulps of water. I then somehow was able to walk Lilly to her carriage tell her goodbye, that I loved her and that I wished her luck. She gave me a wave, a smile, a kiss and a hug. The carriage then took off on its way and I waved as it went. The rest I was in a daze. First I couldn’t walk strait, then my vision became blurry, the sounds started to fade away and I could barely hear the people who asked me if I was okay. Then I collapsed.

To Be Continued…..