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Eh, ignore this if you don't want to hear me complain. It ain't about nothing special, so leave now. I'm just posting this up cause I have to get this out.
So yeah. It's great being 20, right? One step closer to 21. One step closer to getting booze. One step closer to your parents kicking you out.... UGH! Okay, okay. My parents aren't kicking me out but I've got to find a job. BADLY. Apparently, health care stops when you're 21, 23 if you're in full time college. Which I am not. But it started out like this.
At first, my folks were all cool and like, find a job. Do something you like. Do something you'll enjoy and just have fun. Make money to spend on yourself.
Okay. Been there, done that. Had a blast. They never told me to save up for this future s**t, so I blew the dough on games and stuff. I ended up getting fired after a while though.
So, not even a year later, they're like, "Get a job. Make some money. Find something you'd like to do" again. Okay, fine. A few days ago, I get some news that a tattoo place is looking for an artist. I jump at it. I haven't gotten feedback yet, but I told my folks anyways. They were fine at first. But then....
"Ugh, why aren't you getting a real job? We didn't put you through school to end up in a dirty building, tattooing old bikers and young perverts, and making about $75 a week. You'll never pay bill with a job like that. You need a steady job."
And now, I'm freaking out, angry at myself and at them. They tell me to look for something I like. I DID. Now, they're all postal, saying that it's about money, my future's at stake, I'll have to pay $500 for health care each month or something like that. And now, my head hurts, I feel like if I don't get a job, I'll end up dying, living on the streets, or become a hooker or something. And GOD, you don't want to see me in a short skirt. I don't care how DARK it is. LOL
*head/desk* I dunno. I kinda just wish I was back in skool with my friends, worrying about what was for lunch or what test we'd have to study for. I'm not cut out for the real world. I don't know what I can do. I kinda just wish that I could find a rich boyfriend or something. But 1. It's not that easy and 2. I'm not that shallow. *groans* Fuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkk. *takes a tylenol*
I wish someone told me about this when I was like.... 16. That way, I could have saved up money, made plans or something. My parents didn't tell me s**t about this kinda thing. Sure. School and parents tell you that you need a job to make money. But it would have been nice to get a few years heads up about bills, taxes, health care, and.... *slams head repeatedly into the desk* I'd live in a cardboard box if it wasn't for the damn rain. But hey, I'd probably have to pay for that too. *laughs sarcastically*
Sometimes, I think just offing myself would be the easiest choice. Or praying for that 2012 thing to happen. I would, but I'd rather not go to Hell for an eternity when I can just live in Hell while I'm still alive. And it kinda seems like the lazy way out. "Oh, I can't handle the stress-" BAM! ....Yeah. Really bad choice.
I try not to complain, I really don't. But this was just too big to keep inside my head. I had to write it out. Or either it'd end up killing me from the inside, festering in my brain till it grows out of proportion and I get a tumor. If only I was GOOD at something that I ENJOY doing. I dunno. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing.....
 SikFox · Thu May 27, 2010 @ 02:52am · 0 Comments |
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