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to make sure im remember
if i don't write it down i'll forget!! really, i can't remember hardly anything from the last 24 years. (thats my whole life)
i don't know what to say....
i freely admit it, and will anways be the first to admit that i am weak. you ask me to remain silent but all the time a desire burns inside me. it makes me want to sing out the way i feel to everyone i around." i love her, but she doesn't love me." i can forget sometimes, when my mind is filled with other things but seeing your face brings me crashing down. one smile and everything turns topsy turvy. all i want is for you to know how i feel.

but you've told me many times you don't think like that. is this something i can just accept? can i pass it off as nothing when everything i am screams that you are the one. that there won't be another like you. in my love for you i long to make you happy, and so i remain silent. but leaving a dream behind removes that which makes us human. to follow in the path of my desires brings me pain. neither choice is one i can pursue and so here a languish in the full knowledge that nothing can be done, save by your hand.

a hand that will never lift not even if i were to beg or use sweet words of persuasion. forgive me though, for i am weak. i do not have the strength to see beauty such as yours and hold back. to forego speach would be to do us both injustice. i know that it must be hard, to have the fate of one such as myself in your hand when the love you feel for me will never be the same. at the same time i have a choice to remain silent or speak, you must also choose. between going against your will for me or standing firm.

but no mind for me! i am weak, and do not deserve your affection. yet my desires, my love for you will forever bind me to your path, though it leads to my destruction.





 
 
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