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You: PHILLL!!!


Stranger: FREDDD


You: PHIL COME HOME!!!


You: PHILL!!


Stranger: Never!


You: WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D FIND YOU!!!


You: DUDE WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE CAR CRASH!!!


You: PHIL MAN COME HOME!!!


You: WE'LL GET YOU HELP!!!


Stranger: Hehe, I don't need you anymore


You: YES YOU DO!!!


Stranger: the crash made me realize, humans do taste good.


You: YOU'LL BE OKAY!!


You: NO!!!


You: PHILL!!!


You: COME HOME!!!


Stranger: OK, where's home again?


You: MOLLY MISSES YOU!!!


Stranger: I forgot


You: At the college!


Stranger: Who was Molly again?


You: Was the crash that bad>


Stranger: I hit my head in the crash remember.


You: No, damnit!


You: Molly's your sister!


You: And I'm your best friend, Frd


You: Fred**


You: Crash got me bad too.


Stranger: Ohhh that Molly...


You: The college


You: in Ohio


You: come home bro


Stranger: The college... in Ohio


Stranger: dude, I'm in South Africa.


Stranger: Are you meaning to tell me I... was in Ohio during the crash?


You: yeah man. Just remember. It's in there. Remember!


You: WHAT.


You: Shiiiitttt.


You: Yes, we were in Ohio HOW'D YOU GET IN AFRICA


You: WATCH OUT FOR KONY


Stranger: Lol Kony... -_- good call


Stranger: Don't worry, he's up north.


You: Just... ugh... I'll get a plane ticket sent to you. Where in SA are you?


Stranger: I dunno


Stranger: somewhere dark


You: s**t, can you find out?


Stranger: Looks like there's a dead guy in the room.


Stranger: I'll ask him.


Stranger: one sec.


You: (Lol)


Stranger: Umm, he's not sure either.


You: Did he talk??


Stranger: Nope.


Stranger: Well it... hold on


Stranger: There's a bit of light


You: Thank God


Stranger: Wait... I'm connected to a wifi network


Stranger: let me just check some sort of gps online.


You: Yeah wait where'd you get internet access?


Stranger: Beats me... I woke up, there's a laptop here connected to the net, and a dead guy.


You: Does the dead guy have any money on him?


Stranger: Ahh... 2 pesos...


Stranger: what the hell? why does he have pesos...


You: PESOS?


Stranger: He's a Mexican.


You: You sure you're in Africa>


Stranger: Well... this...


Stranger: the online GPS says I'm in Siberia.


You: WHAT?


Stranger: Well, makes sense on why it's so cold.


You: Can you order plane tickets off of travelers or something?


Stranger: Well, I'm stuck in this dark room remember.


You: is there an airport in Siberia?


Stranger: And there's no door.


You: MAKE A DOOR


Stranger: There's a couple military airports.


You: So wait, it's a room?


Stranger: Yes...


Stranger: With no door.


Stranger: 4 walls, a small hole in the ceiling that light comes through.


You: Knock on the walls, maybe someone will hear you.


You: Can you see through the hole?


Stranger: One sec,


Stranger: Yep, there's...


Stranger: a bigger building


Stranger: so, it appears I'm underneath another structure.


Stranger: type of basement/cellar.


You: That's not good. Is it a small room?


Stranger: Well, it's perfect square.


Stranger: 5 x 5 meters.


You: How do you know that?


Stranger: Tape measure in dead mexican's pocket.


You: Oh. What all does the Mexican have? And is there anyhting in the room besides him and the labtop?


Stranger: Hmm, well the room is quite dark


Stranger: so I'll use the laptop as a light... (walks around, checking corners)


Stranger: I found a revolver...


You: Uhh...


Stranger: With, 4 rounds in the chamber.


Stranger: I could, shoot the mexican, and the laptop?


You: What are the walls made of?


Stranger: Appears to be concrete.


Stranger: Though...


Stranger: the hole in the ceiling


Stranger: is...


Stranger: a result of a bullet going through it


You: Shoot through the hole at the building!


You: Maybe someone will hear you!


Stranger: *bang*


You: o.o


Stranger: I hear footsteps coming towards this place


Stranger: Oh *^%$


Stranger: Russians...


You: Please be help please be hel[p


Stranger: Should've known


You: Oh god


You: PHIL!!!


You: PHILL!!!


Stranger: It's ok, I'll hide under the Mexican


Stranger: He's a fat one.


You: Good idea


You: How conveniant


Stranger: I'll tell you when they're gone


Stranger: Umm, ok they ran off


Stranger: they appear to be getting something to dig through the ground


Stranger: I got 3 rounds left


You: Please be help!!!


Stranger: should I shoot a Russian?


You: What if they're helping you?


Stranger: Ahh... Good point Fred.


You: Keep the gun handy, if they try anything, shoot.


Stranger: what does ruki vvher mean?


Stranger: They keep saying it to me,


You: Uh, google it!


Stranger: I think...


Stranger: Oh right, they want me to follow them


Stranger: I'll just walk with the laptop, one sec.


Stranger: We're walking towards a truck, they must be helping because they don't mind me using this laptop


You: Man, I don't think they're helping. How many are there?


Stranger: 7.


You: s**t. Are they armed?


Stranger: Yes, ofcourse.


Stranger: They're soldiers.


You: Oh god. Well, maybe they're uh...


You: Oh god, you're dead man.


You: I love you bro!


Stranger: Why's that?


Stranger: I'm sitting in a truclk


Stranger: truck* we're driving somewhere.


You: What'


Stranger: Tell Molly I'm sorry I killed her fish.


You: what's it look like?


You: Where your driving


Stranger: Wait, I'm starting to remember stuff from the past.


You: Good, good! Keep remembering!


Stranger: Ahhh... Right.


Stranger: and South Africa


Stranger: Wait.. how'd I get to Russia


Stranger: Hold on!


Stranger: I've got it.


You: You do??


Stranger: Ok, the truck just crashed.


You: Another crash?


Stranger: I figured it out.


Stranger: Well, I shot the driver.


You: You alright man?


Stranger: I'm fine.


You: You shot the.. oh s**t dude!


You: Bad a**!


Stranger: Yes, and the other 2 guys in the car are also dead


Stranger: I took their guns.


Stranger: and clothes...


You: Ew.


Stranger: It's cold here man.


You: Did you not have clothes?


Stranger: Well, I was in shorts and a t-shirt... what I was wearing when I was in SA.


Stranger: I realized, I was meant to kill a Russian, a mafia man, who was visiting South Africa, it was part of a job.


You: What?!


Stranger: and I met my Mexican friend there..


Stranger: but the Russians were onto us


Stranger: and then I got knocked out at some point.


Stranger: woke up here...


You: And?


Stranger: well after the crash in Ohio


Stranger: when I disappeared


Stranger: it was all a cover-up so I could take up my new occupation.


You: New occupation?


Stranger: gun for hire


Stranger: Hitman, assassin, they go by many names.


You: O.O


Stranger: So, yeah, this job went wrong.


You: BAD a**! My best friend is an assassin!


Stranger: But once I realised who I was...


Stranger: These hits to the head always make me forget stuff...


Stranger: Anyway, I'm coming to your place now.


You: Are you gonna come home? Or are you gonna have to stay on the run>


Stranger: I'll need somewhere to hide for a while.


Stranger: I've tracked you down already, I'm on my way.


You: On your way? Oh thank god, I missed you bro!


Stranger: Umm, it'll take a while...


Stranger: I'm walking in the Siberian Wilderness


You: Well, yeah. Siberia, Ohio, two very different locations.


Stranger: This laptop is gonna run out of battery soon too.


Stranger: Hold on, I see a house


Stranger: a nice old couple will let me stay with them


Stranger: my Russian is a bit rusty but they were happy to let me in


Stranger: I'll charge this laptop


You: Oh that's wonderful! Give them my thanks!


Stranger: and find a vehicle.


You: Are you gonna steal theirs, bad a**?


Stranger: No, that'd be quite unorthodox.


Stranger: I'll have to wait for the Mafia to track me down again.


Stranger: as... this laptop is obviously theirs.


Stranger: Sorry mate...


Stranger: I should've realised.


You: Wait!


Stranger: They can track you too...


You: Don't go!


You: NO!


Stranger: Hmm


Stranger: Well, ah, right on time... 3 SUVs pulled up outside,


Stranger: brb matey...


You: Oh s**t man. Be careful!


Stranger: Ok, now that that's done


You: Do you have a license to kill?


Stranger: Nah, I don't use a license.


Stranger: Killing is still illegal.


You: So can you go to JAIL? PRISON?


Stranger: in most countries.


Stranger: They can't catch me


You: Haha, "most"


Stranger: I'll just use this suv with a power adapter for the interent


Stranger: I'm driving towards Alaska now


Stranger: I'll be able to get out of the border somehow over there...


You: But wait, when'd you become a hitman?


Stranger: Well, you know how when we went to the college meeting in that one town in Ohio?


Stranger: That was the introduction for me


You: Yeah?


Stranger: Remember you and Molly went to the other thing


Stranger: And then my first mission was to vanish.l


Stranger: Crashing the car seemed like an idea at the time...


Stranger: sorry I kinda risked your lives...


You: Sorry? s**t, Molly could've died!


You: Or suffered serious injury!


Stranger: So could've you.


Stranger: I mean, Bob did die...


You: Well I don't care about me!


Stranger: But no-one liked Bob anyway...


You: Yeah, he was so annoying.


Stranger: Molly's jerk-off of a boyfriend.


Stranger: She's better off without him.


Stranger: But I can understand how she would've been upset.


Stranger: Boyfriend dies, brother disappears.


Stranger: She still had you at least.


You: Yeah, she's really down. I'll have to tell her where you are, and that you're okay...


You: She'll be so relieved!


Stranger: Uh yes, I also noticed you 2 got married?


You: OH yeah, fb huh?


Stranger: Pehaps


You: Probably should've mentioned... uh..


Stranger: I've got other ways to find out info...


You: Are you, um, kay with that, bro?


Stranger: No matter, I'm the one that left you guys without info.


Stranger: No problems.


You: Cool man, cool.


You: Wish I could've asked you in person...


Stranger: It really doesn't matter.


Stranger: I'll just hold on... an airbase...


Stranger: Hmmm


Stranger: *15 minutes later*


You: Wait, do you have ANY pilot training?


Stranger: I'm now just about to steal a russian jet.


You: No, wait, no, that's, no, you're prone to crashes!


Stranger: I'll have to go hyper sonic, and also hook this internet connection to the radar system on the jet


You: Um, dude think for a second...


Stranger: Done.


Stranger: I'll see you in about...


Stranger: an hour


You: Oh god, don't die.


Stranger: I'm not God.


You: Is that legal?!?! An hour?!!


Stranger: and I don't seem to die... Like... Why was I still alive when my Mexican fat man was dead.


Stranger: Probably not legal...


You: Why wouldn't they kill you too? If they killed him?


Stranger: I don't know...


Stranger: Unless


Stranger: There's something they want


Stranger: Oh... right you and Molly should leave


Stranger: They're coming for you.


You: Or was it THEM that killed him? What if he... Killed... killed himslef?


You: WHAT?!


You: s**t DUDE!


You: YOU WILL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN


Stranger: Go somewhere, but don't say where on this...


Stranger: otherwise they'll know where somewhere is.


You: Okay, okay, we're packing up.


Stranger: Go somewhere only I'd know of...


Stranger: so I can meet you there.


You: s**t, do we have that kind of time?


Stranger: 2 minutes?


You: s**t. Okay okay.


Stranger: Use the back door.


You: Yeah. You'll know this place. You'll definately know this place. No one but you'd look here.


You: Got it.


Stranger: There's a pistol in the top left cupboard in the garage, and yeah. I'll see you soon.


Stranger: Let's say, I've been to your house before... hence there's a gun...


You: KAy bro. See you soon.


You: I don't question anything anymore dude.


Stranger: Oh... I forgot about the United States Airforce...


You: WHAT?


Stranger: They're attempting to shoot me down


You: Are they firing at you?


You: Oh god.


Stranger: well, they're giving warnings


Stranger: I'll just call Col. Anderson.


Stranger: It's sorted.


You: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE


Stranger: I'm safe.


You: What? Who?


Stranger: Never mind, I have friends in high places.


Stranger: Also, there's another mexican down your street


Stranger: he'll be standing on the side of the road, when you drive past him, say "cheeseburgers"


Stranger: He'll stop any Russians who try following you.


You: Cheeseburgers... got it.


You: but I'm lactose intolerent!


Stranger: Exactly!


You: Oh, Okay. Good, yeah....


Stranger: (woah man... this has been a long time)


You: "


Stranger: (I need to piss)


You: (You wait, your flying a jet!)


Stranger: (I'm a bit tired mate, It's hard to come up with more story)


You: (Yeah, I'm lost.)


Stranger: ah well


Stranger: I got a bit carried away...


You: Carried away?


Stranger: That was a good ice breaker though ^


Stranger: Carried away with the storyline


You: Who cares, s**t got real.


Stranger: hmmm


You: Real, real.


You: I liked the assassin part, good twist.


Stranger: Hmm


Stranger: You do this often?


Stranger: cos' I don't.


You: Omegle? Yeah


Stranger: well, omegle, and story-role


You: Start random stories? Not many people go along.


Stranger: lol


You: Everyone's like "asl" And I'm like 1324/m/Mordor


You: And then they disconnect


Stranger: *disconnects*


Stranger: lol


You: Haha, yeah. I hate this sight...


You: Or most the people.


Stranger: mmm


Stranger: But legit man


Stranger: I gotta go piss


Stranger: brb


You: Lol, kay.


Stranger: wow... I had been like hunched up sitting on the floor for a couple hours now


Stranger: tried standing


Stranger: cramped up


Stranger: walked outside


Stranger: got pins and needles.


You: Agh, hate that.


You: My neck always hurts.


Stranger: My leg like fell off


You: Oh god, really? razz


Stranger: Yep, it's gone


You: Ouch. Should we call an ambulance or..?


Stranger: Nah


Stranger: I'm good, Australian's are used to stuff like that.


You: The fire department..?


You: Australian? Good thing we're typing, otherwise you'd hear my terrible immatation of an Australian accent.


Stranger: I can hear it


Stranger: it's killing me


You: I'm so sorry. I can't stop it.


You: I can do a good Russian one?


You: I'm American, that's why I'm so dumb razz


Stranger: Ohhh right, ofc :L


You: Oh, oh, you're just gonna call us dumb? You b*****d.


Stranger: Ofcourse.


Stranger: What do you expect?


You: I want you to know, most of the things I say, I don't mean.


Stranger: lol


You: Ha, I expect you to bow to the world police!


Stranger: Reminds me of how a friend and I speak to each other...


Stranger: Not Team America!


Stranger: Now you got the themesong going in my head.


You: Yeah! America! ******** yeah!


You: One guy on here told me he was from India and I said "PFFT USA!!"


You: All I do on here is troll...


Stranger: lol


You: Yeah, I'm going to hell.


Stranger: Hell...


You: What's it like over there? Well, real question, what the dominating religion down under?


Stranger: heard it's warm there.


You: Haha! Wish it'd freeze over.


You: Is it okay if


You: I say down undeR?


Stranger: Yes... I don't see why not.


You: Anyway, my question. What's the dominating religion there? Religion is really interesting to me. I'm a freak.


Stranger: Dominating...


Stranger: ummm


You: Like, most peopl here are Christian. Christianity is dominant.


You: people**


You: I can't use a keyboard properly.


Stranger: Same here.


You: Ah. They're everywhere. And what are you, if you don't mind me asking?


You: (I'm Pantheist)


Stranger: Why'd you want to know?


Stranger: you could've googled it.


You: I like your opinion. Not googles opinion.


You: Hello?


You: Oh no, were you in another crash?


You: PHIL!!!


Stranger: Oh lol


Stranger: My dad came and asked me something


Stranger: I was afk


You: Oh, sorry. My dad just keeps bothering me. Wish he'd stop being such a diabetic...


Stranger: lol


You: When his blood sugar gets low, he acts like a child. Crazy wanker.


Stranger: Hmm


You: You say that a lot.


Stranger: Well, It's my input when nothing else comes to mind.


Stranger: I'm tired remember.


You: What time is it?


Stranger: before 8pm -_-


Stranger: lol


You: I'm at 3am. We need to sleep.


Stranger: Yeah, 3 am, too early, and 8pm is too late.


You: I miss 8pm. My grandmother was over at 8pm. We had barbeque...


Stranger: Hmm


Stranger: My grandmother died.


Stranger: Not at 8pm


You: Aww, that's dissappointing. I bet she was great.


You: And you're so dumb.


Stranger: Sureeeeeee


Stranger: Yep, I'm pretty dumb.


You: What, was she not "great"?


Stranger: Yeah she was.


You: Then why all the extra e's?


Stranger: Why not?


You: I'm not sure.


Stranger: Is there anything specific you'd like to talk about?


Stranger: If not, I might head off soon


You: "Hmm"


Stranger: razz


You: Aww, head off?


Stranger: Or is there a reason I should stay?


You: I would like to talk to you again. You're a lot of fun. Do you have FB/Twatter/tumblr?


Stranger: all of the above.


Stranger: Which is your preference?


Stranger: tumblr and twitter i rarely use


You: Twatter.


You: smile


Stranger: ohh twatter, my bad.


You: if you rarely use it, then FB.


Stranger: Would you like a link?


You: And yeah, I'll get them to legally change it.


You: Sure!


You: (Easier)


You: (Please don't be a *****)


You: razz


Stranger: What?


Stranger: Change what?


You: The name of twitter to twatter.


Stranger: Ohh right...


Stranger: [facebook link]


You: You just got added, sucka.Btw, I'm Katie smile


Stranger: I'm a sucka aye?


You: Yeah, "mate".


Stranger: Why's that?


Stranger: You're going to eat me?


You: I wish I could say I was confused.


Stranger: Feel free to write to me whenever on FB.


Stranger: I check it occasionally.


You: Same. I check, like everyother week. I fail at socializing.


Stranger: Yep yep


You: I'm gonna try to sleep. Talk to you some time in the future smile


Stranger: Yeah, sure thing.


Stranger: Have a good sleep


Stranger: Bye bye


You: I'll try my hardest.


You: bye biggrin