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im making a manga and here is my first chapter script i would like people to tell me what you think plz. sweatdrop
User Image <--------- this is kenta as a chibi in his thief outfit
Kenta: Prince of Thieves

1. [ shows a large castle with sun riseing behind it]
2. [ younge boy sleeping on floor] Boy: z z z z z z
3. [man walks in] Man [not surprised] : Oh dear, the young master seems to have rolled off the bed again.
4. [man wakes the boy up] Man: Young master please wake up your on the floor again.
5. [boy gets up rubbing eyes]
6. Man: Young master you must stop doing that. It's not very prince like.
7. Boy: I know, I know but i can't help it Tabao...
8. Tabao: Well please try to,
well I better get you ready for today.
9. [Tabao brushes the boys teeth]
10. [Tadao dresses the boy]
11. Tadao brushes the boys hair]
Tadao: So today your 16 ... It's hard to believe you don't look it.
12. Boy [upset]: It's because I'm short.
13. Tadao [shocked]: NO NO NO It's not that.
14. Boy: then what is it?
15. Tadao: Ummm.......
[looks at watch]
Oh look at the time! We must go to the dinning hall for breakfast.
16. [Dinning Hall - Maids in line next to table welcoming the boy]
17. [Boy sits down old man sitting across from him Tadao standing next to the boy]
18. Oldman: Morning Kenta my boy "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
19. Kenta [sad]: Morning father and thank you.
20. Oldman: Whats the matter Kenta?
Kenta: Nothing just.........
[Kenta sighs]
21. Tadao: The young master rolled off the bed again last night. So he's not in the best of moods, your majesty.
22. King: I see. Well we'll just put a bed rail up for Kenta then.
23. Kenta [Embarrassed]: DAD! I'm not a baby.
24. King: I know your 16 now
25. Kenta [Faceplam]
26. [time card reading "4 hours later"]
27. [Study Room - Kenta working on school work]
28. Kenta [talking to himself]: Why do i have to study on my birthday.........
29. Tadao [walks in]: Because you need to learn how to be a great king one day.
30. Kenta [Yells]: I DON'T WANNA BE KING!
31. Tadao: I see that's why you've been down in the dumps today..... One year closer to that crown.
32. Kenta: ......
33. [Tadoa walks up next to Kenta]
Tadao: Young master....... your the kings only child you must take the crown one day.
34. Kenta: ......
35. Tadao: Why don't you want the crown?
36. Kenta: It's not just the crown I don't want this life. I want to live out there.
37. [Kenta looks out a window and see's a town far away]
38. Kenta: I'm always here ..... I'm sick of it and if i take the crown it'll be this way forever.
39. [Tadao speechless]
40. Tadao: Come study time's over. Etsuko is in the main hall waiting for you.
41. Kenta [shocked]: Etsuko?! W-why is she here?
42. Tadao: She's here to wish you a happy birthday.
43. [Kenta hiding behind a chair]: NO NO NO tell her "I hung myself".
44. Tadao [dragging Kenta]: Don't say such horrid things young master.
45. [Kenta being dragged crying]
46: [Main Hall - Etsuko holding gift for Kenta]
47. Etsuko: KENTA!!!!!
48. Kenta [making a ill face]: Hello Etsuko.
49. Etsuko: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I got you a gift.
50. Kenta [takes gift]: Thank you.
51. [Kenta holds gift and just stands there]
52. Etsuko: well what are you waiting for? Open it,
Kenta: Do I have to?
53. [Etsuko nods yes]
54. Kenta: [sighs]
55. Tabao {blushes seeing the gift]: Oh my
[Tabao trying not to laugh]
56. Kenta: Wha....
[ Kenta holding up a dress]
57. Etsuko: Isn't it just adorable? I saw it and thought you'd look so cute in it.
[Kenta in shock]
58. Kenta [confused in so many ways]: I'm a "GUY"
59. Etsuko: But your so little and cute you can pull it off.<3
61. Tabao [laughing]: Come on. put it on.
62. Kenta: I hate you Tadao.....
Tabao: No you don't
63. Tabao: Etsuko it's the young masters bath time he must leave you now.
64. Etsuko: Okay, bye my dear sweet Kenta. <3
65. Kenta: Bye Etsuko
My dear pain in my a...
Tabao [clears throat]
66. [Bath - Kenta in the tub with a rubber ducky]
67. [Kenta squeaks rubber ducky and giggles]
68. Tabao: Your such a child
69. Kenta [blushing/shocked]: Ta-Ta-Tabao!
70. Tabao [holding towel out]: Your dinner is ready
71. Kenta [gets rapped up in towel]: okay
72. [Dinning Hall - Kenta eating with his father and Tabao]
73. King; So what did Etsuko get you?
74. Kenta: A dress.....
75. King: Oh I see
76. King: [pulls a servant aside and gives him a present]
Take this back to the store please.
77. [Kenta and Tabao stunned]
78. King: sorry Kenta I'll get your gift tomorrow
79. Kenta: It's Fine, Really.
80. [LATER]
81. [Kenta's room -Tabao dressing Kenta in PJ's]
82. Tabao: Done.
83. Kenta [yawns]
84. Tabao: I got you a gift
[goes to get gift out from pocket]
85. Tabao: Huh?! Where is it?
86. [Tabao looks at Kenta, Kenta has the girt in his hand]
87. Taboa [confused]: Wha.... How... When?
88. Kenta: Just after you dressed me up hehe.
89. Tabao: You got some fast hands young master.... Well you can open it now.
90. [Kenta opens gift]
91. [Kenta smiles looking at a small stuffed bear]
92. Tabao: I know its not much, but i know how you love stuffed animals.
93. Kanta [happy] Thanks Tabao...... You didn't tell anyone about this weakness of mine. Did you?
94. Tabao: Of couse not young master.
95. [Kenta smiles]
96. [Kenta gets in bed and tucked in by Tabao]
97. [kenta and Tabao say "Good night" too each other]
98. [morning - Kenta awakes by himself]
99. Kenta: Tabao..... [Hears noises outside his door]
100. [Kenta looks outside his room and see's a trail of blood leading to Tabaos laying against a wall]
101. Kenta [watery eyes]:Wha... Ta-Tabao.....
102. Tabao: Uhhhhh.....
103. [Kenta runs to Tabao]
104. Kenta: WHAT HAPPENED!? Tabao....... Tell me!
105. Tabao [ stares at kenta with rage]: Kanta.......
106. [Tabao pulls a knife out and trys to stab Kenta, Kenta pulls back]
107. Kenta: What? Tabao.
108. Tabao: I'LL KILL YOU!
109. [castel guard comes]
Guard: Stay back Prince Kenta
110. Kenta [Crying and Yelling]: What's going on here.
111. Tabao: I hate you, you spoiled rotten little good for nothing brat!
112. Guard: He try to assassinate you in your sleep.
113. [Kenta speechless and confused]
114. Tabao: Whats the matter Kenta? You looks so sad hahahaha
[spits up blood]
115. Kenta: Why? You were my only friend?
116. Tabao: Why? WHY? WHY!? Kanta Kanta Kanta, don't you see? You don't Deserve the throne.
117. Tabao: Your a little "Brat" that can't grow up! And are people can't have that now can we and besides didn't you say you don't want the crown?
118. Kanta: But but but
119. Tabao: SHUT UP!!
[swings knife]
120. [guard stabs Tabao with sword]
121. [guard then takes Kenta away from the dead Tabao]

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