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"…the cream of the corn".

"…too many cooks in the broth."

"The short answer is 'Yes.' The long answer is 'No.'"

"Get your game faces on, because this is not a game!"

"Looks like I've spent the day chasing a wild herring! "

"We are the glue that keeps things moving. "

"Fits like a charm! Wait..fits like a shoe? "

"See me verbally."

"That guy is running around like a chicken with his legs cut off."

"It just like stealing teeth from a baby."

"It’s like the rooster guarding the hen house."

"That guy doesn't have a spine to stand on."

"If we don't start shipping things sooner lead times will just get longer."

"I can tell you this, they are all sitting 2 inches higher in their seats, because they all just crapped their pants."

"You're barking up a dead tree."

"That's my sixth cents, for what it's worth."

"That's not his cup of cake."

"You don't want to shoot yourself in the foot because you might want to take a walk later."

"That raised a human cry."

A few days ago, a couple of friends and I were talking and our conversation verged toward weather. (I’m a terrible conversationalist, I know, but I compensate by blaming other people.) My boss came in and said "Every time I go outside I'm cold, but I don't know why." This is a true story.

Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the 2nd floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the 3rd floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the 2nd floor too."

My teacher was having a discussion with our class about what we did for Christmas. One guy said he got himself a deer when he went hunting. My teacher, the clever punster, said that he got a "dear" too, only this was the kind with TWO legs. The class laughed. Then one moron in back raised her hand and asked, "Did you shoot it anyway?"

While trying to exit a gas station onto a busy highway, I was evaluating the oncoming traffic and I asked my wife how it looked on her side. She replied, "Its all clear," so I started to pull out. She continued, "Not a cloud in the sky!"

A few months back, the people in my office were talking about Mel Gibson's new movie, The Passion of the Christ.
One of my coworkers, a young 20 year old secretary, mentioned that she wasn't sure if she was going to go see it because it would be too sad. That's when I jokingly told her that "It's okay; he comes back in the end. I read the Book." At which point she says, "There's a book?"

"There's more than one way to cut the cheese."

"I know these streets like the back of my head."

"When push comes to shove, that's when the dollar meets the road."

"Tomorrow at this time…it will be Wednesday."

"I would like a pie-in-the-eye estimate."

"The smell of indifference was deafening."

"Oh, that will be a cake in the woods."

"She'll chew you up and down, and spit you out like a bad habit."

"He's living off the fat of my sweat!"

"I heard that out of the corner of my eye."

"Even a blind beaver falls off a log once in awhile."

"I threw down the carrot and he picked it up and ran with it."

"It's like a monkey on the back of the elephant in the room."

"I don't mean to throw a wrench, I mean a monkey, into the tools."

"I got under your goat."

"You heat it until it doubles to about three times its size."

"When it comes to nut-cutting time, the cream will rise to the top."

"Is it hot in me or what?"

"Don't you hate it when you lock your keys out of your car?"

"It's like watching paint grow."

"The winds of change aren't what they used to be."

"The system is humming like a clam."

"You need to take the bull by the balls and run with him."

"Two cats out of the bag are worth more in the nest."

"Anything worth doing is a lot more difficult than it's worth."

"Not to toot my own horse, but......"

"We do things by the pants of our a**!"

After a meal at a nice restaurant, an Individual, rubbing his stomach said, "I don't know about you guys but I'm flabbergasted."

A friend of mine took his California girlfriend to the east coast for a vacation. He took her to see her first sunrise over the ocean. After watching the view, she said, "That was great. Does it come up EVERY morning here?"





 
 
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