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Tales of CB, a play
written by TheDelightfulPhantom
act I

scene 1
Takes place in a tavern. Dimly lit with with the bar and stools to the left and tables and the door to the right. Lots of chatter and from across the room. Suddenly the door opens with a slam and the room quiets down.

Enter Wireless Aids (a constable) and his men.

Wireless Aids: All you who dwell in this pit of vice and sin, all you whom God himself has forsaken, listen and listen well. I and my men by the power and grace of the king I am here to apprehend the man known as Up The Irons for his atrocious crimes. Lest all of you want to spend a night in the dungeon, speak of where this man might be.

Continues silence.

Wireless Aids: You scum and curs, you thieves and whores! I would condemn you to hell myself if the good Lord has not already! Tell me where the man is!

Continues silence.

Wireless Aids: Take this wretches to the dungeon then!

The constables move to arrest the patrons of the bar. A man rises up from his seat on the stool.

ssssllll: You will do no such thing. Lay your hands on me and I will cut you to pieces.

Wireless Aids: You dare? You dare!?

ssssllll: If you are a noble and brave man you claim to be then duel me honorably lest the tales of your chivalry is false.

Wireless Aids: You have insulted my honor and for that you will pay dearly!

Both men draw their blades.

End Scene.

scene 2
Enter Elissande (Owner of the tavern) and l-lorny (her tavern guard and bouncer).

Elissande: What commotion is this!? What ruckus is this about!? I let you sing and cheer to your hearts delight but all I ask is for trouble to be kept outside my doors!

Elissandre looks around the room and fixes her gaze on the Wireless Aids.

Elissande: A man of the law in my establishment? And it is but Wireless Aids, the unblemished captain of the guards! My oh my captain, have you given to needs and urges captain? Perhaps a drink in your hand and a woman in your lap?

Wireless Aids: Do not try to tempt me harlot! I seek a fugitive who has taken refuge in your little cesspool. Hand him over or I will have this muck razed to the ground.

Elissande laughs.

Elissande: All of the men and women here are of questionable character captain. You will need to be more precise then that.

Wireless Aids: Up The Irons if I have to be frank! Where is the scum!?

l-lorny: Shall I throw him into the street with his men in blue? There he may make all the empty threats he wishes.

Wireless Aids: I will see you hanged if you do so!

l-lorny laughs.

l-lorny: Charge at me if you dare then captain.

End Scene.

scene 3
Enter Up The Irons (A cloaked criminal).

Enter Up The Irons: Looking for me captain?

Wireless Aids: You! You fiend! You murderous fiend!

Up The Irons: Fiend I may be but a murderer I am not.

Wireless Aids: You murdered my brother you swine!

Up The Irons: He challenged me to a duel and I simply accepted. He lost because he was a fool. Like you now who come in search of me without a warrant. By the power and grace of the king indeed captain. Show me your warrant and I shall come willingly.

Wireless Aids: I... I... You coward!

Up The Irons: Coward? Who is the coward here? Barging in here with your guards. If you so wish, we could challenge me like your brother. Do you have the courage to do so captain? Do you have bravery to take me on knowing that I butchered and gutted your brother. Will you scream for mercy like him too?

Wireless Aids: I will return you monster!

Wireless Aids and the constabulary exits.

Up The Irons: What a pathetic wretch. You'd think he would at least defended his honor. What a coward. What a fool. What an idiot. Perhaps I should have just stabbed him. The coward deserves it.

ssssllll: Though I have no love for the captain, you are truly despicable. Though your duel was won fairly, the way you celebrate your victory appalls me.

Elissande: Out of all the damned souls in this tavern, you are perhaps the most forsaken.

l-lorny: If only I could challenge you to a duel.

Up The Irons: Judge me all you want you thieves, murderers and fools but you would have done the same to the cocky b*****d. I waste my time here. I am off. The miserable lot that you are can continue to dwell here, skulking like Satan himself.

Exits Up The Irons.

ssssllll: Good riddens.

Elissande: I hope you never come back.

l-lorny: He writes his name on his own tombstone.

End Act.



act II

scene 1
Scene takes place in a large mansion hall. Enter TERRIBLY v2(duchess of the land) with spotlight on her and the light in the background dimmed.

TERRIBLY v2: When I was young I asked myself why. Woe it is to be me. Woe it is to be of noble blood. When one must to be ever vigil of her back for there would always be another to stab you in the back. All this wealth, fortune and power comes with a curse! My royal line always under siege from usurpers and upstarts. Why oh why?

TERRIBLY v2 puts her palm on her face and looks down.

TERRIBLY v2: Then I learned the truth!

TERRIBLY v2 crunches her fist.

TERRIBLY v2: I have since learned that I was born from the strong to rule over the weak. The masses are animals and I must keep an eye on them. Keep them from ensuing into madness from their own craving. They think of nothing more than to quench thier thirst for more and more. I must keep them from their mindless hunger and guide the peasants on the path of society. Without me, this peons would consume one another. Simple minded buffoons and I must see to it that they progress. That is my cause, my birth right. If I were to profit from their labor, then it is nothing but a small token of gratitude from this beast. I am a noble and I am a God amoungst savages.

Lights brighten back up across the room. A door opens off stage.

Enter Preceding and petunias(her confidants and henchmen) and Parieur(her butler and adviser).

Parieur: My lady, this two insisted that I brought them towards you for a few minutes of your time.

Preceding: We have come to bring you good news duchess.

petunias: Good news indeed. One that could see you in a higher stature.

TERRIBLY v2: Then out with it already you fools and tell me of this information you hold so highly.

petunias: The king comes to visit us in a few days your my lady.

Preceding: King dickhouse himself!

petunias: Along with the Queen.

Preceding: Queen Hogany herself!

TERRIBLY v2: Oh? And where have you learned of this news? Who has told you two of this?
Preceding: A very trusted source my lady. One I would trust with my life.

petunias: And he happens to be high in King dickhouses court!

TERRIBLY v2: Are you certain about this? Tell me this person's name.

Preceding: He is...

A large door slams off stage. Enter Up The Irons.

Up The Iron: We need to confer amongst ourselves TERRIBLY v2.

TERRIBLY v2: I have told you not to interrupt me in my home! Away with you!

Up The Iron: I would not come here if this were not the most urgent of matters. Now tell this lot to leave lest you want them to hear of our fowl secrets.

TERRIBLY v2: Leave us be then.

Parieur: At once my lady.

Parieur, petunias and Precedings exits.

End Scene.

scene 2
TERRIBLY v2: What is it that so important as you have to disturb me in my abode?

Up The Irons: I've just heard the miners of Queefinator 4000's gold mine is about to revolt. The pay the old hag has been giving them isn't enough for the dirty bastards.

TERRIBLY v2: Then we would send some of our brave constabularies to handle the situation if it came to that.

Up The Irons: How well do you know your constabularies duchess? How do you know they don't plot to have you removed?

TERRIBLY v2: What are you talking about? I'd know if there was a threat against my life! I have many ears that....

Up The Irons: Many ears that are getting arrested by the Constabulary Captain.

TERRIBLY v2: Wireless Aids? But I would have known!

Up The Irons: Not if the entire force is behind him. He is a hero to his subordinates. They would follow him to hell and back. They believe that he's cause is right and that he would see them through. Their blind faith and sense of duty makes them obedient to his cause. Do you see the dangers this man possesses?

TERRIBLY v2: Is this really a plot against me or you? You murdered his brother and now his out for your blood.

Up The Irons: I did not murder his brother! He challenged me to a duel and I rightfully won!

TERRIBLY v2: You poisoned the young lad. Each cut from your blade made him weaker from a concoction you had placed on your blade. You think me a fool but I know the facts.

Up The Irons: Fine then. Do not listen to me. When the miners revolt and the city guards have you killed, I'd laugh at your ill fate.

TERRIBLY v2: If you're so insistent on killing this man then do so already. What do you need me for?

Up The Irons: A reward. A pouch of coins to make my kill worthwhile.

TERRIBLY v2: You are a fool to think I would pay you for killing the captain of the guards.

Up The Irons: Then I shall bring you evidence of his treachery. Then will you pay me?

TERRIBLY v2: Perhaps. Now away with you. I don't want to see you again until you have brought for this evidence you claim.

Up the Irons: It shall be done then.

End Scene

scene 3
Enter Parieur, petunias and Precedings.

Parieur: Are you really going to let a man like him on a loose on the street? Even if the captain of the guards was planning mutiny, he would still be a source of trouble for us.

petunias: A rabid dog like him should be put down.

Precedings: And have his corpse paraded through the streets.

TERRIBLY v2: I have a plan to have him removed.

petunias: But how my lady?

Prededings: Shall we murder him ourselves?

TERRIBLY v2: Not by our own hands, no. We always have someone else perform our dirty deeds.

Parieur: And who would be brave or foolish enough to have that brute killed?

Enter tiny poltergeist(an assassin in a robe).

petunias: Who is this scoundrel?

Precedings: How did you get past us?

tiny poltergeist: The shadow hides many secrets. You were but too foolish not to have listened to its whisper.

Precedings: How dare you mock us!

petunias: My lady, who is this fool!?

TERRIBLY v2: The woman to take care of Up The Irons.

Parieur: Wouldn't this only complicate matter for us further? Why would we need her?

TERRIBLY v2: Because unlike Up The Irons, tiny poltergeist is discreet with her work. Is that not so?

tiny poltergeist: Quite so my lady.

petunias: I still do not trust her.

Precedings: Not one bit!

tiny poltergeist: Perhaps a demonstration of my prowess is needed.

Precedings, petunias and tiny poltergeist strikes a post as if they were to attack one another.

TERRIBLY v2: Enough of this! Enough! I hired you to kill Up The Irons and nobody else. Nobody yet at least.

TERRIBLY v2 looks at Precedings and petunias with an angry expression.

TERRIBLY v2: This is the plan tiny poltergeist. Listen well for if you fail, I will see to it that it is your blood that is spilled. You will follow Up The Irons. You will observe him. Once he has taken care of Wireless Aids, you will kill him. Make sure to make it look as if the two fell from fighting each other. Once you have done the deed, I will reward you greatly.

tiny poltergeist: This will be easy for one such as myself.

Exit tiny poltergeist.

Parieur: She seems unexperienced in assassinations. Are you sure about this?

TERRIBLY v2: I have taken everything into account. One way or another, I will win.

End Scene.



act III

scene 1
Scene takes place in a large grand room with a circular, wooden table in the middle. Candles light the room.

Enter Pangetsuh, River of No Return, His Dolcezza, Dubious Artist, iLordCensored, The Delightful Phantom and Sad Toes(Merchant nobelity).

Each one takes their place on the table with Pangetsuh taking the middle spot.

Pangetsuh: You've asked for our court and here we are. We are not patient people Delightful Phantom so I suggest you tell us this important information you claim to know.

The Delightful Phantom: Of course, of course. As most of you know, the King and Queen comes to visit in a few days.

iLordCensored: Of course. To visit the duchess, his royal cousin.

The Delightful Phantom: Not just so dear friends, not just so. The southern mines have suffered revolt after revolt this past few days. Queefinator 4000 has not being doing a very well job and now the miners are starting an uprising.

His Dolcezza: Lies! This is how they feed their families. What would they seek out of this revolt?
River of No Return: They would get slaughtered by the town guards they will. Only madmen would go through with a revolt.

The Delightful Phantom: Not if they've been promised wealth if they cause enough of a distraction.

Dubious Artist: What do you mean? What sort of fool would offer them a reward for a revolt?
The Delightful Phantom: A cunning fool, such as myself.

Sad Toes: But why?

The Delightful Phantom: Gather around friends gather around. I know a dark little secret from the royal court itself. One you would find disasterous if others found out. Trust me good ladies and sirs, this will benefit us all.

Everyone draws close to the Delightful Phantom. The lights dim.

Pangetsuh: This better not be another of your tricks Delightful Phantom.

The Delightful Phantom: Oh I assure you Pangetsuh, even though this is devious in nature, you will find this news most delightful.

iLordCensored: Then out with it you snake!

End Scene.

scene 2
Everyone except The Delightful Phantom gasp.

iLordCensored: How did you come about with this most damning news?

The Delightful Phantom: My ears and eyes are all about and what they hear and see, I do too.

His Dolcezza: And how are you sure your spies have not decieved you? How are you sure that is not a lie?

The Delightful Phantom: My source would not and could not lie about this. It would be disastrous for him as it would be for us. We all have an equal risk in this scheme.

Pangetsuh: What do you suggest we do then? How are we to benefit from this?

River of No Return: We should barter with this man to remove the king! Give us special favor within the royal court!

iLordCensored: Barter!? No! Black mail! What's to stop us from spreading the truth that would bring the royal family down?

Pangetsuh: Because then we would not have any leverage if we do. We need to keep this as much a secret as he does.

The Delightful Phantom: Indeed so. We need to keep out lips tight on the matter. We need to keep this secret to ourselves. This is our on chance of seeing ourselves in a higher position.

Sad Toes: But what if the duchess were to find out? Would that put all out plans for neigh?
The Delightful Phantom: Indeed it will. We cannot let this happen.

Pangetsuh: I suppose one of your spies will keep an eye on the duchess.

The Delightful Phantom: Indeed so. There is nowhere that my eyes and ears cannot slither upon, cannot reach. Even the pits of hell are open game for my spies with enough gold.

Sad Toes: This makes me wonder if you have spies amongst us and our servants.

The Delightful Phantom: Oh worry not child. I dare not use my strings on you or the others in this room. It is simply not worth the bother.

The Delightful Phantom laughs a sly laugh. Everybody in the room gives him a look of distrust.

iLordCensored: If we did not need you I would have cut your throat a long time ago. A snake like you can only be so useful. Remember that Delightful Phantom.

His Dolcezza: If there is anyone here to cut his throat it would be me.

The Delightful Phantom: Till death do us part indeed. The riches of our union shall never be yours if that happens.

His Dolcezza grunts.

Pangetsuh: The time is late and we must all rest. If that is all you have to tell us then this little session is done. Unless you have other important information you would like to share with the rest of us.

The Delightful Phantom: Only on my death bed with my final breathe.

End Scene.

scene 3
River of No Return: Off to rest then. I will be keeping on eye open in case this rat would try something on us.

The Delightful Phantom: If that would make you feel any better.

Everyone exits except for The Delightful Phantom and Dubious Artist.

The Delightful Phantom: Are you not retreating to your chambers like the others?

Dubious Artist: I know your dark secret. I know what the others do not.

The Delightful Phantom: Is that so?

Dubious Artist: I saw you the other night. I saw you walking into the house of one of your mistresses. Yes, I've caught you in the act!

The Delightful Phantom: And what do you intend to do with this fact? Make me bow to your will? Make me your slave?

The Delightful Phantom picks up a glass of wine and takes a sip.

Dubious Artist: You act as if you are not scared yet deep inside you tremble! You fear that I would tell...

The Delightful Phantom: My wife? Do you think she would care?

Dubious Artist: Of course she would! She could use that to grab your riches from you! To prove in court that your infidelity has meant you are not true to your bidding contract of marriage! She would ruin you for that!

The Delightful Phantom: Naive child, with her wealth and power, wouldn't you think she would have found out by now and done so?

Dubious Artist: What do you mean?

The Delightful Phantom: Our marriage is nothing more than a business. This false notions of love and sanctity are for fools.

Dubious Artist: Then I will tell the priest then! The church will have you stripped of your honor!
The Delightful Phantom: And have them lose one of their most prominent donator and supporter, I think not. Besides...

The Delightful Phantom takes another sip of wine.

The Delightful Phantom: I know of a dark secret of yours too. That boy. That boy that your father has forbidden you from seeing. What was his name? Anarchist Hawke was it?

Dubious Artist gasp with surprise.

The Delightful Phantom: What would happen if your father found out or if I have him killed.

Dubious Artist: You wouldn't dare!

The Delightful Phantom: Wouldn't I now? Why wouldn't I?

Dubious Artist: You! You...

A door opens offstage. Enter iLordCensored.

iLordCensored: What is this commotion? What is this distress? Why are the both of you here? Shouldn't you be alseep daughter?

The Delightful Phantom: We were just leaving, is that not right Dubious Artist?

Dubious Artist: Yes we were. I shall head off to my chambers father.

End Scene.



act IV

scene 1
Scene takes place in a small living room with a fireplace and lit by candles.

Enter Wireless Aids and angielaa (his wife). Thunder and lighting along with heavy rain is heard off in the background.

Wireless Aids: Curse this plight of mine! Curse this predicament I am placed in! Let fire and brimstone engulf me and bring me down to the lowest circle of hell where Lucifer himself can deem judgement for a coward such as myself.

angielaa: Do not say such things my love and do not think of yourself so low. You are a brave captain and a smart one too. Only a fool would try to bring Up The Irons. He is a brute, a towering mountain of a man. If you were to face him then I would fear for my life.

Wireless Aids: But what of my brother's honor? What would become of him? He now lies rotting in the ground and his soul rots in Hades because I cannot bring him retribution.

angielaa: Your brother was a fool and a drunk. He was too full of himself to see that battling such a titan of a man would only result in misery and death.

Wireless Aids: Whether he was a fool, a genius or a madman, he's honor needs to be defended. Our family name needs to be defended. Imagine our children being mocked for being the sons and daughters of a coward. A coward that is the captain of the guards no less! What a disgrace!

angielaa: This is not about your brother now as it is about you! You seek only to kill this fiend to bring honor to yourself!

Wireless Aids: How dare you! I am trying to redeem my brother's name!

angielaa: You are trying to prove yourself worthy and you will only give yourself to ruin!

Wireless Aids: You too!? You are suppose to stand by my side and support my noble cause but you too mock and heckle me!

angielaa: Mock and heckle!? I am trying to warn you of the danger you blindly put yourself in! Think about me when you think of doing reckless actions!

Wireless Aids: After all that I have done for you, you threat me like this. Were you not the daughter of a simple baker when I found you? Now you turn against me like so many others. You now show your true colors.

angielaa: The man I married is gone, replaced by this arrogant fool in front of me. If you wish to have yourself killed then so be it.

Wireless Aids: Very well then. The die is cast.

End Scene.

scene 2
Scene takes outside a mansion in front of a door. Que strong winds and pouring rain. Enter Up The Irons soaking wet.

Up The Irons: At long last, I can finally rest. My dreams to be forevermore silenced of that horrid apparition. To be rid of the nightmare that haunts me every waking second and during my sacred hours of slumber.

Up The Irons holds out a knife.

Up The Irons: With you my friend I will make my past right. He's brother was only the first. Soon the captain will be sent to damnation too! Rightfully so after what they have done to my family.

Up the Irons takes a piece of clothe and polishes his knife.

Up The Irons: For too long, too long has this moment waited. Now vengence and justice shall be delivered. Now the sins of his father shall come to haunt him once more. Though I cannot take the heart of their father, his sons shall do well enough.

Up The Irons puts the clothe back in his pocket and drinks from a bottle of ale.

Up The Irons: Hear me now father! Hear your only son! I will finally send forth this wretches to hell where you await to give them your own punishment! I stand as your blade, ready to cut out their hearts! I stand as your spear, ready to stab their soul! I stand as your fist, ready to pound them into the deep darkness of Satan's realm and prison!

Up the Irons takes another drink from the bottle.

Up The Irons: Send me a sign of your blessing upon this act dear father! Tell me if I should carry out your rightful will now!

Que a loud roar of thunder.

Up The Irons: Then it shall be so! I shall send forth your message to him! I shall make your time spent down in Hades worthwhile as you torment the sons of your betrayer! I shall make you proud and I will lift your spirit once more!

Que another loud roar of thunder.

Up The Irons: Yes! It shall be carried out in your name! It shall be yur glory and yours alone!

Up The Irons walks up the door with his knife. As he does so, he slips on a rock and hits his head on the door while stabbing himself in the heart. Loud Thunder roars again.

Up To Irons: No father, no! I have failed you! No....

Up The Irons falls unconscious.

End Scene.

scene 3
Enter tiny poltergeist, also drenched wet.

tiny poltergeist: You fool! You idiot! Now my plans are awry! Perfectly calculated and now you've ruined them! You drunken wrench!

tiny poltergeist kicks the lifeless corpse.

tiny poltergeist: You imbecile, you good for nothing drunkard! I suppose I have to take matters into my own hands. As the old saying goes, 'if one is to do something proper, then they have to do so themselves'.

tiny poltergeist picks up the bloody knife from the lifeless corpse.

A door opens. Enter Wireless Aids.

Wireless Aids: What is this!? Who are you!? What have you done!?

tiny poltergeist: I am your death!

tiny poltergeist attacks Wireless Aids. tiny poltergeist tries to stab Wireless Aids but Wireless Aids barely evades them. Wireless Aids knocks off the knife from her hand and grabs it on the floor. tiny poltergeist charges at Wireless Aids and he stabs her in the chest. tiny poltergeist falls down on the ground.

tiny poltergeist: Bested by a constable, a man of the law. How... How cruel my fate is... The dark irony of this...

tiny poltergeist laughs faintly and dies.

Wireless Aids: No... No!

Enter a mob of villagers made up of Naya Merai, FUFFTPURR, Oro Senpai, Shanow Seketsu, Turtle Suicide, Jakari Oshino, Bacon Senpai, Badoinkazoink, FIJI-FI and Deus Frigus.

Naya Merai: Murder! Blood on the streets and on your hand!

FUFFTPURR: Murderer! The captain of the guards is a murderer!

Bacon Senpai: Look! He killed the man who killed his brother! Only this wasn't a fair fight but a dirty deed!

Badoinkazoink: Lock up the fiend! Let him rot in the dungeon!

Wireless Aids: No! No! You do not understand! I was but protecting myself from this attacker!

FIJI-FI: You were trying to kill a witness to your crime!

Naya Merai: Hang him!

The mob chants "hang him" five times. Enter Angielaa.

Angielaa: What is this ruckus? What is about?

Angielaa sees the corpses on the ground and screams.

Wireless Aids: No Angielaa, you do not understand!

Angielaa falls to her knees and cries. The mob continues their chant.

Wireless Aids: I demand a hearing! Take me to the court!

Enter two constabularies played by SimonEimon and Josepsh2.

Wireless Aids: I will prove my innocence! If not to you people then by the eyes of God! I will return to you Angielaa!

FUFFTPURR: Return to her in a coffin you will! Murderer!

Wireless Aids: Lo how fortunes look down upon me. My darkest hour has come.

Naya Merai: And judgement will be swift!

End Scene.



act V

scene 1
Scene takes place inside a cathedral lit by candles. Enter That CB Guy and Cheat_Skill(Priest).

Cheat_Skill: Dear brother CB Guy, I have just heard of the most frightening and surprising of news. Our captain of the guards is a murderer they say. Could you believe that just a rightious man could fall to ill temptation?

That CB Guy: Truly most distressing brother Cheat_Skill. How could we trust the long arm of the law now that its servants could easily be mislead?

Cheat_Skill: We now have to put our faith in the good lord brother and let him guide us to the right path. Let those who sway away from his rightful will be cast down by his righteous fury. Shame on them for turning away from his blessed light.

That CB Guy: Of course brother, let the good shepherd guide his flock. That reminds me good brother, I have to attend to the needs of the cook. I shall talk to you later when my chores are done.

Cheat_Skill: Walk in the right path my brother and may the good lord bless you.

Exit That CB Guy. Enter Your Sexual Therapist(A nun).

Your Sexual Therapist: Is he gone yet? Is it safe?

Cheat_Skill: For now it is my dear.

Cheat_Skill and Your Sexual Therapist kisses.

Cheat_Skill: So many sleepless nights have I thought about you and in th few spare minutes of sleep I had, all I dreamt about was you. You my dear have lingered in my every waking moment and my slumbering hours.

Your Sexual Therapist: As I have too. I have craved you for several days now. Let us not part again.

Cheat_Skill: Hush your tone for the others might hear. Quickly my dear, head to my chambers we must.

Your Sexual Therapist: But of course my love, but of course.

Cheat_Skill: Dear lord forgive me for the sins I am about to commit. I am only but flesh and blood, a mortal man. A mortal man prone to the sins and vices and mortal men. Look not upon me with your judging eyes father, for I am more ashamed of myself than you would ever be of me. Forgive me father, for everyday I repent.

Your Sexual Therapist: The heavenly father understands your urges, now let us not waste time for we have little to start with.

Exit Your Sexual Therapist and Cheat_Skill.

End Scene.

scene 2
Enter That CB Guy.

That CB Guy: Brother Cheat_Skill is nowhere to be found. He must have attended to his chores as well. As I must attend to the needs of the faithful. It seems to be a quite day today.

Doors slam in the background. Enter Sullen Rave Angel (a woman in rags).

Sullen Rave Angel: This place of worship and piety is false along with the men in charge of it!
Sullen Rave Angel flips over a table with different mass offerings on it.

Sullen Rave Angel: Lies! All lies! The foundations of this church, made of rock and soil, are more sacred than the cathedral build upon it! Sinners are saints within the walls of this holy ground! The brothels and whorehouses are more looked upon by God than this stone house of Satan!

Sullen Rave Angel spits on the floor.

That CB Guy: What in heaven's name are you talking about mad woman? Calm yourself right now or I will call upon the city guards to have you removed.

Sullen Rave Angel: This cathedral was made from the gold of demons, of those who seek to make men their slaves in their damnation! This church is payed with the blood and sweat of innocent men swayed away from the path of the light by greed, lust and envy! This church is nothing but a mask to hide the creeping darkness that is those of the fallen servants of God himself!

That CB Guy: You make no sense with your blatant claims. Speak more clearly or I will have you removed.

Sullen Rave Angel moves nearer towards That CB Guy and shoves her finger towards his chest.

Sullen Rave Angel: Play the fool all you want but your innocence will be tested soon enough! You deceiver! Turning away the good lord's servants towards your vile masters! I know the truth and I see beyond your thin veil of lies!

That CB Guy steps back.

That CB Guy: Enough of you and enough of your rambunctious threats. I have have none of it now as you disturb the other worshipers of this sacred ground. Either leave or I shall be forced to make you leave.

Sullen Rave Angel: I will leave but mark my words oh father so pure and so pious, your time draws near. When the judgement of the heavens come, they will be written in fire and fury! Those you deceive shall we reawakened and they will take up arms against your master! The palace which your unholy masters dwell will become their tomb! The champions of the lord shall seek vengeance for all those who's lives have been taken by their schemes and plots! Mark my words father, you will witness the end!

Sullen Rave Angel exits.

That CB Guy: Mad woman! If I were a lesser man, I might have found myself laying my hands on her. Thank the lord for my restraint and let his mercy forgive her. I pray for that lost soul.

End Scene.

scene 3
Enter Cheat_Skill and Your Sexual Therapist.

Cheat_Skill: Who was that brother CB Guy?

That CB Guy turns around.

That CB Guy: Ahh brother Cheat_Skill, I have been looking for you just now. Do not bother yourself with that. I stray soul lost and I hope not yet damned.

Your Sexual Therapist: Should we follow her at least father? Make sure she is safe?

That CB Guy: I'd have you not endanger yourself by drawing near her. Stay behind this walls sister. I will ask from time to time of her well being, make sure she is feed at least. Perhaps there is still time to redeem her.

Cheat_Skill: I hope you are right dear brother. I pray for the souls of those who have strayed and forgotten the lord's will.

That CB Guy: I was just about to ask dear brother, where were you off? There was no one to attend to the faithful just now.

Cheat_Skill: Other matters within our clergy called me away dear brother. I am sorry to have left the flock unattended.

That CB Guy: This is no cause for fret, I merely...

Enter Angielaa with her servant l Bonniebelle l.

Angielaa: Father please help me! Please help me oh kind father!

Angielaa kneels down to That CB Guy and then sobs at his feet.

Angielaa: My husband is innocent dear father! You have to believe me he is! He would never commit murder dear father, he is a righteous man!

Angielaa continues to sob.

Cheat_Skill: The court will find him innocent if he truly free of sin.

Angielaa moves towards Cheat_Skill.

Angielaa: You don't understand dear father, there are forces at work here that wants my husband dead. I do not know who would want such a thing but you have to believe me father, there is a person that wants him gone.

Your Sexual Therapist: I would see why someone would want the captain of the guards gone. Without a presence of law and order, this town would be free for new masters bent on crime and anarchy. But who would want such events to befall here?

That CB Guy: I suppose you are right about that sister and I suppose there is no harm if I talked to the captain before his conviction. Come then Angielaa and we shall find if there is any truth to your worries.

Angielaa: Oh thank you father, thank you!

Exit Angielaa, l Bonniebelle l and That CB Guy.

Your Sexual Therapist: Do you think this are true? Do you think there is one out there that seeks the captain dead?

Cheat_Skill: I hope there is for Angielaa's sake. I hope the captain is innocent of his crime and that the fiend be caught. That woman is far too young to be a widow.

Your Sexual Therapist: And what of me dear father?

Cheat_Skill: I cannot bare the thought of losing you too, my precious angel. Come now, we have to attend to out prior chores.

Your Sexual Therapist: Of course father.

Exit Your Sexual Therapist and Cheat_Skill.

End Scene.



act VI

scene 1

Scene takes place in a court house. A massive podium is placed to the right.

Enter Wireless Aids in shackles.

Wireless Aids: The Hour has come at last. Let only the good Lord judge me if my sins truly do merit my end.

Enter Hobo Klok (the judge).

Hobo Klok: Let there be silence in my court. I see the captain of the guards stand trial before me. I thought a constable, an enforcer of the law, would have better standards than being a petty murderer.

Wireless Aids: I implore you to listen before you pass judgement upon me. Listen not to the rabble behind me who only seeks my head.

Hobo Klok: Only the good Lord judges, I only pass his sentence. Now if you are ready to prove your innocence then stand forth and give me your plea.

Wireless Aids: I swear in God's good name that I would never want to tarnish that I am innocent.
Que crowd chanting his guilty.

Hobo Klok: Order! Silence! Then we shall test your plea. We shall see if you truly are as faultless as you claim to be. Mark my words though constable, if you are found guilty then I shall let the mob decide your fate.

Que crowd chanting to hang him.

Hobo Klok: I said silence! This is a house of law, not an open yard market. If any of you shouts again then I would have you hanged.

Crowd quiets down.

Hobo Klok: We must maintain lawfulness in my court. Now captain, do you have any request before we start our trail?

Wireless Aids: I seek a moment of prayer your honor, to ask the blessing of God.

Hobo Klok: If you seek to make peace with your maker before your sentence is passed, then by all means, pray to your hearts content.

Lights dim. Spot light focuses on Wireless Aids.

Wireless Aids: Oh dear father I only only solemnly do I talk to you. Only in my darkest hours do I call upon your name and only at times do I give you thanks and praise. But father, I have never went against your will! I have been most just and I have never brought down any man that has not deserved such a fate. I stand trail here against an angry rabble who seek only my death. I put my faith and future in your hands. The sentence the judge passes will be your will and I will accept whatever happens to me.

Lights brighten back up.

Hobo Klok: Pure of faith are we captain? Let us see if we are pure of soul and mind too.
Que crowd chanting to hang him loudly.

Hobo Klok: There will be order and discipline in my court! Silence yourselves and sit down let you peons and peasants stand before me too!

Crowd quiets down.

Hobo Klok: We shall now begin the trial of Wireless Aids, Captain of the Constabularies. The court is now in session.

Hobo Klok strikes her gavel.

Crowd begins to chant 'The hour of your end is at hand' over and over.

End Scene.

scene 2
Enter That CB Guy and Angielaa.

That CB Guy: You must halt this trail at once your honor.

Hobo Klok: And why is that father CB Guy? What would cause me to stop my court?

That CB Guy: This man has not confessed to the dear lord father. According to our customs, is a man not needed to do so before his trial?

Hobo Klok: A custom, not the law. The trial has already began. To halt this court of its duties would be a offense not only to me but to the King himself.

That CB Guy: Not adhering to the customs of the kingdom would be a bigger offense to the king. You must stand down and let me minister to the man.

Angielaa: Please your honor, please! Allow the father CB Guy to give my husband peace with the lord! Give my husband this one chance at redemption.

Angielaa begins to cry again in front of the podium.

Hobo Klok: Very well then, I will give the priest a moment with the captain. Let this be your final chance at convincing the lord of your innocence or to ask for forgiveness.

Que crowd chanting to continue the trial.

Hobo Klok: Enough of this! Enough! This court is nothing if not lawful and fair! Go on father, do what needs to be done.

That CB Guy: It shall be but a moment your honor.

Dim lights and spot lights focuses on the That CB Guy and Wireless Aids.

That CB Guy: Child, tell me of your sins so that they may be absolved in the eyes of the lord.

Wireless Aids: Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have lied, cheated and used my position of power to grant me many merits I do not deserve.

Wirless Aids faces the ground.

Wireless Aids: I have not been a good servant of the law I must admit. At times I would give in to temptations and accept bribes and suborns. I would arrest men with no crimes fully knowing this. At times I would do this for my own gain. I have took from the poor, your most blessed, and give them to the rich and myself. My house and the luxuries my dear wiffe enjoys are part ill begotten. Yes father, I am a thief and a somewhat of a fraud.

Wireless Aids then faces the crowd.

Wireless Aids: But I am not a murderer! To take advantage of one's postion and another's misfortune is something I dabble in but taking the life of another without good cause is not. You have to believe me father when I say this, I am innocent.

That CB Guy: Is there is truly a face of innocence then I see it in yours. I believe you my child and those sins you have told me are forgiven. The charges on your head however are more difficult to to escape from. The crowd wants you hanged and I fear for you.

Wireless Aids: The lord will see my through then father, I must face the trial and prove to them that I am innocent beyond a doubt.

That CB Guy: Then I shall pray for you child. May the good lord watch after you.

End Scene.

scene 3
Hobo Klok: We shall then proceed with your trial captain. Now prepare yourself for your hour of judgement comes. If you are innocent as you claim to be then by the grace of God we shall declare it so. If not, your torment would be worse than any of those that awaits you in damnation.

Wireless Aids: Indeed so your honor.

Cue crowd that cries his guilty. Hobo Klok hits his mallet on the table to ensue order and silence while giving the crowd a look of anger and disgust.

Hobo Klok: Call out the first witness to the crime.

Enter Naya Merai.

Naya Merai: Hell and damnation! Hang that man! I saw him kill the woman with my own eyes!
Wireless Aids: I was but trying to defend myself from her your honor. She tried to stab me with the dagger I was fortunate enough to pull out of her hands. I was forced to end her or she would have ended me.

Naya Merai: Liar! Fiend! Fraud! She was but a young lass you were trying to bring under your ways! Infedility and murder! You monster!

Wireless Aids: Lies!

Angielaa: No! Do not believe her! My husband would never!

Naya Merai: Perhaps you do not know your husband well enough! Have you ever wondered if your husband has been talking sinful pleasures during his nightly watch? I would bet you that a few whores would be willing to talk about your husbands nightly affairs!

Angielaa: Do not speak of my husband like that!

Angielaa and Naya Merai moves closer towards each other, in a stance ready to attack. Two court guards (sublime silence and kasyfi) moves in to separate the two.

Hobo Klok: If you want to brawl, then do so outside of my court of law! Continue with your claim Naya or I will have you thrown in the dungeon as well for disrespecting my court.

Naya Merai: Of course your honor. I saw the dame struggling in his arms as he tried to subdue her. I called the men of the town in hopes of saving her. Alas when I saw her once again, she was a lifeless body on the street with the captain trying to clean up his deed.

Angielaa: This is not true your honor! Please! In the five years of service my husband has given to this town, there has not been any foul play!

Naya Merai: Might it be because he hid the fruits of his crimes?! He is in a position to do so.
Hobo Klok: Enough of this. Can anyone else claim truth with Naya's claim?

Badoinkazoink: I can your honor. I saw the captain standing before the bloody corpse with the dagger in his very hands.

Hobo Klok: And you are sure this man is guilty of the act?

Badoinkazoink: He was but the only soul there. Unless the shadows itself killed those people, then I have no doubt it was the captain.

Hobo Klok: And how do you defend yourself captain?

Wireless Aids: I stand by my defense. She attacked me first.

Hobo Klok: And how do you explain the cadaver of the man who took the life of your brother outside of your home?

Wireless Aids: I... I... I have not the faintest idea of how the man got there.

Hobo Klok: This seems suspicious enough dear captain. You do not have a clue on how this man arrived at your doorstep?

Wireless Aids: Of course not your honor.

Enter l Bonniebelle l.

l Bonniebelle l: Forgive my lady and I am sorry my lord but... but justice must prevail. I have overheard my master and my mistress argue over whether the captain should use action and fell the man. As they ended their dispute, the master was hellbound on sending Up The Irons to the next plane.

Angielaa: No! No! That was nothing but a small fight! He did not mean the...

Hobo Klok: My judgement is done then. I see all the evidence pointing towards foul play on the captains behalf. Trick me by sending a man of God into my court will you? No, that will not save you. You shall be hanged on Monday morning, after the arrival of the king and his good rest. We will show him our rightful justice in this town. He shall be proud to see how we handle snakes such as yourself captain.

Hobo Klok hits the table with his gavel.

Angielaa and Wireless Aids in unison: No! Your honor please!

Angielaa sobs while Wireless Aids lowers his head. The lights dim. The crowd chants "hang him" over and over.

End Scene.



act VII

scene 1
Scene takes place in the same tavern as scene one. Still dimly lit.

Enter ssssllll from the right and I-Iory and Elissande from the right.

ssssllll: I guess you two have heard the news too.

Elissande: I would not expect so from the captain. I know he lies and cheats but murders? Truly the unblemished captain may be more unscrupulous than we thought.

I-Iorny: Aren't all men of the law like so?

ssssllll: I was once a constable too I-Iorny. Call be dishonorable again and I will have your tongue.

Elissande: You knew the captain most than any of the other constables, or at least that is what they say. Could he have truly committed such a crime?

ssssllll: From the sort time I worked with the fool, I know that he would never tarnish his honor with such a deed. I smell the works of unsavory characters at play here.

I-Iorny: And what fool would have anything to gain from the captain's absence?

Enter R i i v o(the new captain of the constabularies) who storms into the tavern along with a group of other constables.

R i i v o: Who is the owner of this godforsaken hellhole?

Elissande: That would be me. What business do you have here?

R i i v o: In accordance to the duchess's new decree, this tavern is being demolished!

Elissande: And why is that?! I pay my taxes like any here on the street?!

R i i v o: Because this establishment is infested by rodents.

Elissande: Show me a rat, aside from yourself, in this place of service now or else I will force you out of here!

R i i v o Snaps her fingers and a constable moves forward with a burlap bag in hand. He opens it and releases several rats into the floor.

Elissande: I will have your head for this!

I-Iorny moves in on the constables. R i i v o moves in front of him.

R i i v o: Least you want more trouble than brought about already, I suggest you and your patrons leave.

End Scene.

scene 2
Scene takes place out the tavern. On the cobblestone streets.

Enter ssssllll, Elissande and l-lorny.

Elissande: It took me two years to have this humble tavern build and not it's taken away from my grasp. Ohh cruel fortune! Why oh why?

l-lorny: Perhaps we could live a new in GD, settle there perhaps?

Elissande: I have dealt with thieves and thugs all of my life but I would never, never settle on those barbarian lands.

ssssllll: There is something a miss here. Something out of order.

Elissande: Of course there is! My place of business has been taken over by that rotten captain of the guard! curse her and curse her children!

ssssllll: I need to visit Wireless Aids, I need to talk with the fellow. He might just know what I am missing here.

l-lorny: Haven't you forgotten? The man would be hanged tomorrow morning. He is locked away in the dungeon, skulking away while being preyed upon by rodents and fleas.

ssssllll: If I can save your tavern, will you help me first Elissande?

Elissande: And what are you proposing?

ssssllll: Let me talk to all your whores. One of them is bound to possess something I greatly wish to.

Elissande: Tell me what it is exactly that you need and I shall fetch those women myself.

ssssllll: One that services with the dungeon guards.

Elissande: And what would you do with her? What would you ask of her?

ssssllll: A small favor. I will not put her in danger, I can assure you that.

Elissande: Do you really need to visit Wireless so badly?

ssssllll: This might be a big matter that would concern us all. I never doubt my intuition.

Elissande: Very well then, I have one who lives just down the street. Just ask for the lady in black and the people will point you to her house.

ssssllll: You will not regret this.

Exit ssssllll.

l-lorny: What do you think he is up to? Normally I would not doubt the man but he seems odd.

Elissande: You have as good a guess as me. He's off to his own errands and we have ours. We have to find a way of opening back our source of income.

End Scene.

scene 3
Enter Sullen Rave Angel.
Sullen Rave Angel points her finger at Elissande.

Sullen Rave Angel: You! You there mistress of whores, thieves and murderers! You who have sheltered rouges and outlaws! You who have given the wayward scum a place to call home! Your hour of redemption is coming! Will you heed the call and prove yourself worthy in the eyes of God?

Ellisande: What redemption do you speak of mad woman? I'm already a damn soul in the burning sea of Hades.

Sullen Rave Angel: Fear not for your soul will be redeemed! the warriors of the Lord will soon march on the street. Without your help however, they will not fight. You will rally them. You will show them the path. The wicked and the forsaken shall find their place in the lord's hand but only if you deliver them!

Ellisande: Speak clearly before I call the guards to remove you before me and I do not like calling upon the help of the guards.

Sullen Rave Angel: Do you doubt me or do you doubt yourself? The Lord has given you a chance to prove your soul can be saved. Listen to me!

l-lorny: Do you want me to remove her?

Ellisande: Please do. I have other matters to worry about than the ramblings of a lunatic.
Sullen Rave Angel: You are fool but only for now. A time will come when your mind shall be cleared and you will lead the chosen towards the path of the rigthious! I shall watch you carefully!

Ellisande: I said away with you!

l-lorny: Walk away now maniac or I will force you to.

Sullen Rave Angel: You too will be saved by the Lord! You have only served yourself but in the coming war, you will serve God. You shall be part of his uprising. You will too sweep away the servants of the devil. You will bring the flames of the angels of justice and cleanse this city of filth!

l-lorny: If you could only see the irony of this.

Sullen Rave Angel: Oh child, if you can only see the irony of your words too. I will depart now but mark my words, whether you heed my words or not, you will become the instruments of the lord. May he have mercy on your souls.

Exit Sullen Rave Angel.

l-lorny: A lot of misfortunes befalls us today.

Ellisande: Indeed. Now, we need a place to see our liquor in the meantime while the wretch that is the captain keeps our tavern under her fist.

End Scene.



act VIII

scene 1
Enter Queefinator 4000 (an old hag) and NOT_a_sexual_username(a mine over-seerer).

Queefinator 4000: What is this about then? The king will arrive in but a few hours and I need to look my best for his excellency.

NOT_a_sexual_username: The workers are demanding a higher pay my lady. The winter season has been harsh on them and they simply look forward to a decent Christmas dinner. They have been getting quite rowdy and if they are not satisfied, I fear they will rise up against us.

Queefinator 4000: You spineless mut. You shouldn't give in the the demands of this simpletons. They should be thankful for the work we provide them. Higher wages?! Ingrates! Dogs! They have no gratitude I tell you.

NOT_a_sexual_username: They are still dangerous though. I hear they plan on a revolt. Taking over the mine for themselves.

Queefinator 4000: And what do you suppose they'll do once they go through with this rebellion of theirs?

NOT_a_sexual_username: They could smuggle in their own weapons.

Queefinator 4000: This ingrates are not a challenge for our brave city guards who would slaughter them if it they did revolt, specially now that the king and his company draw near. That reminds me. You should best remind them of the consequences of their actions. If they were to rise against me, not only will they pay but so too would their children.

NOT_a_sexual_username: Maybe we should not antagonize them then. All they ask is but a few more copper coins to feed their family through the winter.

Queefinator 4000 smashes on fist on a table in front of her.

Queefinator 4000: I give them enough to feed their families! How dare they call me a cheat when it is they who try to cheat me!

NOT_a_sexual_username: But they suffer from the cold and the winter pestilence. The miners and their family has been hit the worst by the November plague.

Queefinator 4000: An act of God to punish the wicked. Yet they do not learn and continue their path.

NOT_a_sexual_username: They will starve to death if we do not pay them more.

Queefinator 4000: This is not our problem. If their wives would work along with their husbands, then they would have plenty to feast on. We shall not suffer because of their sloth and greed.
NOT_a_sexual_username: I suppose you're right my lady.

Queefinator 4000: Of course I am, I am always. Now go to the miners and tell them that any who speaks of raising trouble in the mines will be brought to the guards on charges of treason. If they will not work for the king and God, then they will suffer as righteously so.

NOT_a_sexual_username: At once my lady.

NOT_a_sexual_username starts to walk towards the door.

Queefinator 4000: Wait!

NOT_a_sexual_username halts to a stop.

NOT_a_sexual_username: Yes my lady?

Queefinator 4000: Make an example of one of them. We must show them that we will not bow down to this idiots and ruffians.

NOT_a_sexual_username: Yes my lady.

Exit NOT_a_sexual_username.

End Scene.

scene 2
Enter TERRlBLY v2, Preceding and petunias.

Queefinator 4000: Ahh, my duchess. What brings royalty like yourself to my humble abode?
Preceding: We have heard of your problem here at your mine. You little problem.

petunias: Yes. We heard you were having difficulties with your employees.

Queefinator 4000: I was not aware the both of you are duchesses. I addressed the our fair lady and not you two goons.

Preceding and petunias moves closer towards Queefinator 4000 with a stance ready to attack. TERRlBLY v2 holds her arms out to stop the both of them.

TERRlBLY v2: Enough from the both of you, enough I say. I will handle this matter myself.
Preceding and petunias: Yes duchess.

TERRlBLY v2: Do you have a rebellion on your hands Queefinator 4000? It should be handled immediately to avoid unrest.

Queefinator 4000: I assure you, matters are being taken care of as we speak. Those who dare interfere with my honest business are being dealt with properly.

TERRlBLY v2: Being dealt with properly?

Queefinator 4000: This rabble has to be taught a lesson in respect my lady.

TERRlBLY v2: I would agree with you Queefinator 4000 but the winter has been harsh and unforgiving this year. Perhaps a few coins out of our coffers wouldn't do much harm.

Queefinator 4000: Giving in to this animals would make them think we're cravens and cowards. We stand our ground my lady. Not a coin more than we already pay them. Punish those who disturb our business by giving them less. If they do not stop there, a few whippings should be in order.

TERRlBLY v2: And if that does not stop them?

Queefinator 4000: Then we bring the guards to bring them to trial. Such is the punishment of agitators in my mine.
TERRlBLY v2: It seems that you have all in order here.

Preceding: But do not think you are safe. If a rebellion does occur, specially on the king's visit...
petunias: Your head will be amongst those in the gallows.

TERRlBLY v2: You best remember this Queefinator 4000.

Queefinator 4000: Of course my lady.

Exit TERRlBLY v2, Preceding and petunias.

Enter The Delightful Phantom from behind a closet.

The Delightful Phantom: About time they left.

Queefinator 4000: I believe you owe me something for my part in this.

The Delightful Phantom throws Queefinator 4000 a leather coin purse.

The Delightful Phantom: You should leave your home by morning. I doubt the mine workers would spare you in our coming plan.

Queefinator 4000: I am no imbecile. I know my place in your plots.

End Scene.

scene 3
Scene takes place in a small, a dark room barely lit by lanterns.

Enter NOT_a_sexual_username and Narcoleptic sloth(leader of the miner rebels).

Narcoleptic sloth: Does the hag listen to reason now?

NOT_a_sexual_username holds down his head.

Narcoleptic sloth: I told you lad, the old fool does not listen to reason. Only greed. Are you on our side now?

NOT_a_sexual_username nods his head.

Narcoleptic sloth: That's all well lad but we still need a proof of your loyalty.

NOT_a_sexual_username: The weapon cache is stored on the western drop. You'll find them hidden under burlap sheets.

Narcoleptic sloth: Aye, good lad. You've done us good work. Soon vengeance will be had. No longer would me and my boys be stepped upon. You look kinda sore there. Something a matter?

NOT_a_sexual_username: Is there really no other way to end this?

Narcoleptic sloth: Those who live by the sword will die through it and those who live for gold will choke on it. Do you think I want this? Nay boy. If they've given me enough to feed my children, then I'd cheerfully carry on. My hand is forced and there's nothing I could do. Same could be said of me fellas. We must act how we are forced to. This is but the fruits of the seeds they planted.

NOT_a_sexual_username: The old woman is practically insane. Does she need to die?

Narcoleptic sloth: I have to be truthful with you lad, I hate that woman. She practically gives me scraps while I fill her coffers. But we will never be free so long as she lives. I kill her not for my own but for me mates. It is either through fire or through iron bars. We choose the latter.

NOT_a_sexual_username: What will be my place in all of this? Will I too be purged through fire?
Narcoleptic sloth: Nay lad. After this, you'll take her place. Threat us well after this and you'll be living the high life like the hag. Threat us as she does and you'll be on the wrong end of a noose.

NOT_a_sexual_username: I don't want the riches.

Narcoleptic sloth: More for us then.

Narcoleptic sloth laughs.

NOT_a_sexual_username: Do I have your word that I'll live?

Narcoleptic sloth: Lad, I am nothing if not for my honesty. You will live and I swear that on my soul. Damnation for me if you end dead by the end of all of this.

NOT_a_sexual_username: Then may the lord find mercy to forgive us all.

End Scene.



act IX

scene 1

scene 2
Scene takes place inside a bedroom. It is well lit by candles. Rose petals are scattered all over the bed itself and some on the floor. Enter Toxic Oxymoron and The Delightful Phantom.

Toxic Oxymoron: I started worry when you ran late. I thought you were being seduced by whores again on the street.

The Delightful Phantom: I have no taste for harlots. You are but the only sweet morsel I crave.
Toxic Oxymoron: Is that so darling? How can I trust you?

The Delightful Phantom: I haven't stopped visiting you. I haven't stopped indulging you? I haven't so much as thought any other woman except for you. Is that enough to warrant your trust?

Toxic Oxymoron: Perhaps, perhaps.

Toxic Oxymoron grabs a bottle of wine and pops off the cork.

Toxic Oxymoron: But how do I know you do not want me only for my flesh?

Toxic Oxymoron pours some wine into two glasses and hands the other to the Delightful Phantom.

Toxic Oxymoron: You are a married man after all.

The Delightful Phantom: Must we really discuss this again? Is all of this really necessary?

The Delightful Phantom takes a sip of wine.

Toxic Oxymoron: It is if you truly desire another night with me.

The Delightful Phantom takes off his wedding ring.

The Delightful Phantom: Is that enough?

Toxic Oxymoron: It may be.

Toxic Oxymoron takes off the The Delightful Phantom's coat. She then pushes The Delightful Phantom onto the bed afterwards.

The Delightful Phantom: I'll take this as a yes then.

Toxic Oxymoron: Rest your head on the bed my dear for a few minutes and take a sip of this wine. Leave your worries behind as I get ready.

The Delightful Phantom: This sounds like a good plan indeed.

Exit Toxic Oxymoron. The Delightful Phantom takes a sip of the wine.

The Delightful Phantom: This taste like...

The Delightful Phantom drops the glass of wine and freezes up.

End Scene.

scene 3
Enter Dubious Artist.

The Delightful Phantom: You!

Dubious Artist: Why do you act so surprised?

The Delightful Phantom: Damnation! What did you do!?

Dubious Artist: What do you think?

The Delightful Phantom: You've... you've paralyzed me. But why?

Dubious Artist: To make sure you would listen to my words
.
The Delightful Phantom: What makes you think I would listen to you!?

Dubious Artist: You have no other choice. What else is there for you to do?

The Delightful Phantom: Then speak your mind.

Dubious Artist: Do not interfere with my life. Do not talk to me about who I can see. Do not talk to me about what I can do. You will find that I too can be as vile and sinister as you.

The Delightful Phantom: This is about that boy, isn't it?

Dubious Artist: You have no right to preach who I can marry!

The Delightful Phantom: Yes child, marry a jailor! I'm sure this man would be the right choice for you. The both of you will end penniless and in the same dungeons he looks after. Such a splendid life to be had.

Dubious Artist: I said you would listen and I expect you to do that and nothing else!

Dubious Artist takes out a dagger from a sheath on her side.

The Delightful Phantom: A knife!? You don't have what it takes to take a life! You weak, pathetic...

Dubious Artist stabs The Delightful Phantom in the thigh.

The Delightful Phantom: Damnation upon you!

Dubious Artist: I said listen. If you would not stop talking then my blade will hit closer to your heart.

The Delightful Phantom: You have my ears.

Dubious Artist: I repeat myself. You will never interfere with me again. If you so much as approach me, I will make sure you die a slow and painful death.

The Delightful Phantom: You poor, naive, little child. This little stunt of yours has only sanctioned the full extent of my wrath. You will pay for this dearly. I will see to it that everything you love will go up in smoke and ashes. The touch of death will linger in every place that you dwell.

Dubious Artist: You forget who has the upper hand here.

The Delightful Phantom: That boy of yours will be the first. Oh yes. The only person you ever cared for. He will beg for death once I'm done with him and you would watch every bearing second of it. You will watch as he cries for your name, searching for relief when there is none. He will....

Dubious Artist takes out the dagger and stabs The Delightful Phantom's other thigh.

The Delightful Phantom: Curse you! Curse you and curse your house. So long as I live I will make sure that you, your lover and any seed between the both of you will pay for eternity! I will send your families to ruin! I will see to it that you crumble! That the only water to quench your thirst will come from your own tears! Do you understand!? I will have vengeance upon your entire bloodline!

Dubious Artist raises the dagger above The Delightful Phantom's chest, directly above his heart.

The Delightful Phantom: Do it if you truly have the will do so! In God's name do it!

Dubious Artist stabs The Delightful Phantom in the chest. The Delightful Phantom coughs with blood.

The Delightful Phantom: I've taught you well...

Dubious Artist drops down on the floor and sobs. Dim lights.

Dubious Artist: What have I done?

End Scene.



act X

scene 1
Scene takes place place in a large mansion dining area. It's well lit by chandeliers. Enter Parieur and TERRlBLY v2.

Parieur: As you can, see are prepared for the evening ball my lady. The entire room has been cleaned from every spot. The finest silverware are on display. A hundred men and women are ready to serve our guest and I was told that a very special orchestra from the southern lands will be performing.

TERRlBLY v2: This is quite excellent. How about the food?

Parieur: As you've requested my lady, nothing but the finest. The finest cheese from the fields of the commoners, the f





 
 
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