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Essays of Love (yeah, for you, love) |
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So, you want to know what love is, huh? Well, I can't exactly give you an accurate answer. You know what they say, love is different for everyone. Because, everyone is different. Even if two people, love the same person. It'll be for different reasons, in different ways, in different measures.. it's pretty amazing how this emotion works. So, the closest I can get to telling you.. would have to be, to tell you my love for a very special lady. Her name? Too beautiful for mortal eyes.. okay, I'm kidding, but, I can't lie, I love her name.
Blen. It really fits her. She's so beautiful, in her dark skin, nappy ponytail, casual clothed, brown eyed, curvy and all around perfect body. Her voice? This is gonna' sound corny, but.. reminds me of angels.
Which, I'm so sure, she is one. Possibly God's best. I thank Him everyday for the gift of her, whether or not she is one. And, I know for sure, that I've been blessed. Her personality.. ? I can't even begin to tell you how sweet and caring she is. God, do I love her. She's so funny, and kind. Very well mannered, as well. Respectful, spunky, tough, edgy.. she's just awesome. I remember when she first came on to my door step, a job she applied for: being a writer's 'sweetie'. What's a sweetie, you ask? Basically, a writer's inspiration, personified. And, boy, does she fit that role well. Where do you think this is coming from, my a**s? I'm not that good, I can tell you that.
She fills me with so much energy. I feel like I can do anything. My life turned around. I could write again. I actually slept.. in 10 years, I have to say, I've only slept about.. 200 hours or so.. you know that's extremely unhealthy.. but when she came.. ? I slept with her (not in that way, everyone), and I swear.. it felt like I got all those hours I was missing. I actually got what I was missing in life. This emotion. Love. So much of it, just for her. I want to give it all to her, and more.. and luckily.. I can. Because that love? It just keeps growing and growing.. and I love that it does, just so much..
Happiness: an emotion in which the bearer feels their needs and wants have been satisfied, though, does not necessarily mean the bearer is content. And, is a part of the love process. Does Blen meets the requirements to making me happy? If I could tell you something other than, hell yes, I would, cause, that doesn't even do her justice. Whenever I'm with her, my lungs jump, not just my heart, my frikken' lungs. My chest feels like it's going to explode, and I love it, even though it hurts. I wish I could give her everything she wants.. seeing her happy makes me happy. Even if I didn't love her. She is my best friend, not only my true love.
When she asked me if I wanted her heart... I.. I felt like I died, and came back to life... I was.. so happy... so happy... I grabbed it and squeezed it desperately, I kissed and caressed that beautiful little thing that controls her emotion for me... it's just.. wow... She's pretty wow, herself... I mean, there isn't a day, I don't have a really fun conversation with her.
She once described our conversations, as 'the kind older married couples have. You know? Where anything can come up, and they can talk for hours, and always think of something to say, just cause they know each other so well.' Funny, I thought the exact same thing, and I loved it. I still do. It still feels like those kinds of conversations. She's just so fun to talk to.. I feel so bad.. I want to apologized to her whole being, while I apologize to mine.. I can't believe I traded this fun for a fantasy world with her..
I know, I'm an idiot. Luckily, I found it now. Am I glad? Glad.. is too gentle of a word... ecstatic, joyous, I just.. I just.. I love it so much. I love her so much. What would I do for her? You know how friends, when they take a bullet for you, and that's it.. you lose them? Well.. I'd do that.. but, I'd get back up.. I wouldn't let the pain kill me.. not yet, at least.. and take another, for her.. and get up again, and take another.. until I finally beat the crap out of that guy, or, finally, I just couldn't get up, anymore. And, I promise her.. I'd make sure to still get up, even after the guy is down, even after there's no more bullets.. cause, I know just how much it would hurt her, to lose me... I'm just so important to her.. I can't believe it, honestly, but, I do, at the same time.. she makes me believe it..
I trust her with more than just my life, I trust her with my breathing and blood circulation.. something the brain is supposed to handle.. something that is supposed to be done automatically.. it's just.. there's so much I could say about her. Give me and her an extra life time, God, please.. so I can at least tell her a quarter of the stuff I love about her.. I could go on for hours, writing anything. Hehe, my arm is going numb, even, now.. I don't feel like stopping. I don't want to. I wouldn't be able to.. I need to write this, for her... my love, my sweetie.. do you know I love you.. with more than my whole being.. that.. if were, some super being, who's love actually makes a visible aura around my body.. it would brighten the entire world with it's passionate colors.. do you know that, my love.. ? Did you know that same aura.. could illuminate the galaxy.. no.. the universe.. ? Did you.. ? I hope you do.. I really do.. I will not allow myself to die, without you knowing it...
.. crying. She has done it. She's makes me do it.. sad, happy, confused, outraged, scared, worried, desperate, shy.. almost every reason, she's given me something to cry about, when it comes to her. And I love every tear drop. I love every sting that pain has caused me. I love the amount of times she's made the gland on my eye react. I love the amount of times, that each and every single muscle of my mouth moved, to make me smile, frown, grin, speak.. they all feel so good, just cause they come from her.. she really knows how to make someone love her... am I the only person who's gotten this far with love for her.. is she... ?
.. yeah, she is.. she is that one. That one person who has killed me and brought me back. Realizing how much she wants me.. I'm surprised she wants me.. but, I've known.. still.. it surprises me.. might be my mind playing tricks on me, but I know one thing that's real. This love. Hehe, I would put on some Maroon 5 and sing and dance for ya', but, don't have that song here.. these words? Must be my songs to Jane, and, you must be my Jane.
Hey.. tell me, hon, tell me something you want, please.. I'll try my best to give you it... my very best. .. I love you. I want to tell her that just every waking moment of mine. I want to hold her, and tell her everything will always be fine. I'll always be there. And, gosh.. if.. there was anything I could do for her.. I would be happy.. I don't care if I'm her butler. I know she'll be nice to me. And, I know she'll consider me a friend. She already does. I don't care about the pain I'll get to see her with someone else. I don't.. I love her too much.. her happiness makes me too happy.. just too happy... Blaine, if you were here right now, I would be prostrating at your feet, kissing them, and asking you, what do you want the most, my love?
 TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sat Jun 09, 2007 @ 09:13pm · 0 Comments |
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Confusion (True second song) |
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As I walk around the world
Going with my friends on these tours
I look around notice people in pain, but with smiles
The rich who wish they could walk miles
Just like the poor who couldn’t wish for anything more
And then, something comes to me
Something odd- no, crazy
[Chorus]
And I’m confused!
Of how people want this
When they have that
That others want
But then..
All of sudden I begin to realize
How I’m just like that, too,
Weird, huh? That’s my life
And then that’s when you came with a ‘boo’
Damn, all I could do is stare at you.
[Chorus]
Weird, no?
Fo’ sho, there goes my toll
Death has came because they feel my last breath
But, you made me cheat the Reaper, and put me through a new mess
Something that everyone calls love
[Chorus]
But then..
But then.. You came.
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sat Jun 09, 2007 @ 08:58pm · 0 Comments |
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My Heart Is Set On Stunning (Missing You) [First true song] |
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.. Love, is what I preach
Because I’m just so deeply into thee
Please, let me scream
I’m in pain.
In so much vein.
I’ve seen too much blood rain
[Chorus]
I’m scared shitless of the way the world is turning.
I need you, my heart is burning.
My lungs are churning.
I feel like my bones are twisting
Cause I feel like I’m missing
I’m missing..
I’m missing you.
Does it bother you to know I’m gonna’ cry every night?
Just before I go to bed, as I fight
Fight against my feelings that bring me fright
I don’t know what to do
As I continue to leave you clues
Of how I begin to chew
Off my arms
It’s a part of my charm.
[Chorus]
Oh, angel, save me
All you people, pray, see?
For my angel is coming
The drums are drumming
My heart’s set on stunning
Because there’s nothing else I would rather give
To you, my love: you’ve made sure that I live.
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sat Jun 09, 2007 @ 08:53pm · 0 Comments |
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I wish I could fix this
I've really hurt you(this time), treated you like s**t.
Now I’m pissed.
At myself. My body a’ least.
The rest of me is at peace.
So that you don’t hafta’ to fall to your knees
From the load of my depression
As I sing you this timely session
Let me tell you something about me:
I’ve gone through crazy temptations
I’ve always wanted ta’ help the babies of this nation
But now that I’ve done this, I’ve unleashed an evil creation
All from my mental station. Bet you wish I would say, “Here’s my resignation.”
Sick of me playing, tired of staying (like this), sorry I kept complaining about you never taking
A single thought. I know you’ve fought (against it), and tried your best ta’ forgive.
You tried ta’ think about us getting to relive and be able to coexist, all in happy bliss, locked with a kiss.
But I strayed too far. I think I got lost in Mars (I hate male hormones, but love them at the same time).
Now we both have scars. I wish I would fossilize in this tar. I wish you would lock me up in a car, push it off a cliff, and make me become permanently limp and stiff. It was all too steep. I went too deep, now I've become a creep. I feel so meek. I feel so weak. I wish the Raven’s beak would breach my flesh and kill me from underneath. Wait, I take it back. I want to change these facts. I want to fix myself. Not for you, but for me. And if you actually see that I’ve become clean, bonus for me! M’glad you want ta’ be friends. I know you didn’t want it to end. I wish I could’ve made the bend. Just let me continue to mend your wounds. Let me fix that bruise. Please. So I can choose to start anew. And now, here’s the end cue!
I’VE LOST MY BLUES!
Thanks to you..
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sun Feb 25, 2007 @ 07:09pm · 0 Comments |
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Bring out my skeleton. Let me relive the past with Wellington.
Trust me, if I could change this, I would
But you don't want that, like I do
Understandable, I'm just unmanageable.
Yeah, I'm sad. No, I ain't mad. But I am bad. And not just a tad.
I don't know if I'm hurting you anymore, I hope not. Bad enough I feel very sore.
Help me God. I feel like a dog. I feel like I'm a cog in this murder machine. Help me get past this fog.
I love you, my black angel. I'll continue to be a devil, I'll continue to be the rebel that you love. Or used to, I'm not sure, it just shoots above my head. I guess cause I'm dead. Maybe because I have fled.
I only have one last chance to finally be able to finish our dance. I'm sorry.. I knew I wasn't the one. I knew we were gonna' be done... but that doesn't stop me from dreaming about you. I hate speaking this truth, cause it hurts me. It kills me. Which isn't something you want, I know. I should've said, "No."
Love me. Please. I'm not begging on my knees.. feet gripped to ground, taking a stand on this melovant land. I wish I could get rid of this brand. "Defected". I've detected this message to explain to you one thing..
I only want you.
I'm just gonna' hafta' ta' deal with the fact of being a loner for the rest of my life.
But I won't end it. Because maybe time will heal me.
But honestly, I don't want to lose you.
So... let's fix this.
You're in my will. You'd be even if I didn't love you.
I hope one day this story may continue. Don't you?
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sun Feb 25, 2007 @ 01:01pm · 0 Comments |
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We can fight with our bare hands. God didn't give me these things just as ornaments. He gave this gift, this curse as part of our torment. But it's not the point of strength; it's determination that never fades. No, I don't need a spade as I showed them how to play. Let me show you how to say "******** you, b***h, I won't listen to your s**t." Because it gets me pissed whenever I see some kid who let's himself get pushed around, lettin' himself get a frown. You need ta' know how to defend yourself, show your enemies around town. Show 'em who's the real clown. I won't stand for that crap. I'm sick of gettin' bad rap for these small facts.
I'm gettin' ready to attack. Hope you're ready for what's in store, I'm no longer happy about this war. I swore that my anger from my core will destroy this and make it no more! My fury is sweatin' out of my pores! I'm no longer lettin' the devil have his fun with this chore! I'll breach through enemy shores and began to unleash this fury! Erasing' it from history! No longer I'm lettin' this crime have it's fun with this time, I'm sick of the lost of lives. I just wanna' grab a knife, take hold of my future wife, and hope for the best; why won't God give us a rest?
We need to dictate, we need to ********’ state how we feel about the place. Let us breech the congress as I preach, as I give this speech, as we siege the elders’ sanctuary. I truly wish this wasn’t imaginary; this is almost as fake as that cartoon canary. I wish this idea wasn’t stuck the land of fairies. Pero siempre se halba la misma mired .The adults continue to hide their secrets, usin’ by havin’ meaningless fiestas. Celebramos para nada. Dames la espada! I’ll cut us a path through these lies.
While screamin’ our battle cries: “Youth of the nation!” “Everyone, battle stations,” them grown ups say, sendin’ us, the young to war, as they lounge on the floor, we, covered in blood stains, filled with pain; what a damn shame. I thought you assholes wanted us to live better! No, instead, you give us a letter “Uncle Sam needs you.” NO! We’re the ones in need. For God’s sake, don’t you see? And now it’s too late, we’re no longer pleased. I don’t care if we have to force you on your knees..
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Tue Jan 23, 2007 @ 09:56pm · 0 Comments |
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RESIDENT EVIL:Teen Spirit act 2 |
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RESIDENT EVIL: Teen Spirit
Chapter 1: The Beginning
Part 1: Anti-School Spirit (School Area)
Act 2: Ashley, Stephanie, and Zombies… Oh My!!
Tony, David, and Roger found themselves mushed together in the massive sandwich of Braddock students. Seniors, Juniors, Sophomores, and sadly, Freshman alike were forced through the narrow doors of the over populated Gym. Our heroes trudged their way up the bleacher steps, trying their best not to lose balance and cause a rippling domino effect on the line of kids behind them. They took their seat on the plastic bleachers and noted that they were on the sucky side of the gym. You know, the side that got to watch the backs of all the performers.
Meanwhile….
“I hope they put Thriller on.” she whispered to her ‘mom’.
“Meh… I just hope the cheerleaders do something different this time.” Stephanie wasn’t so enthusiastic about pep rallies and all that jazz. But it did get you out of class. And that’s definitely a plus on everyone’s standards.
Zombie girls from the dance group “Vision” walked around in their pseudo zombie ways to scare the chatting girls in short blue skirts and for the multiple camera wielders of Braddock Senior high. Ashley and Stephanie watched the gym crowd itself and patiently awaited for the sow to start.
“You know we’re screwed if the bell rings and we’re in here, right?” Roger noted to Tony. David gave a look to the large seniors surrounding them.
“Oh s**t…” Tony whispered.
*drum roll*
“AND NOW!!! GIVE IT UP FOR BRADDOCK”S ONE AND ONLY HEART AND SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Two weirdoes in blue capes (one, thought Ashley, was a transvestite), ran around screaming for their fans as they made each grade level holler to show their pride.
“WHERE ARE MY SENIORS???!!!”
(Crowd roars)
“WHERE ARE MY JUNIORS???!!!”
(Crowd roars)
“WHERE ARE MY SOPHMORES???!!!”
(Crowd roars)
“And… FRESHMAN??!!”
(Crowd Boos)
Well with tradition over and done with, the football team made their insignificant appearance then left to make room for the cheerleaders who, for once, did something different this time!! YAY!!!
When the mini-skirt brigade moved out of the center, dance group “Vision” performed to Marilyn Manson and various other rock songs. They combined their performance with “Ebony” while the DJ faded the song into the one Ashley wanted to hear that day.
Thriller.
And everything was cool as they positioned themselves for the performance.
Everything was cool… until the bell rang.
And they froze. Every single one of them. The song stopped and so did the students. This is not part of the pep rally.
“What the F**K?!?! Hands off mofo!!!” Ashley punches a random student when he started to man handle her.
“Get off!!!!!!!!!” Stephanie screams and knocks a few people down to the bottom.
“What the hell is happening??”
“I don’t know.” And that’s when they noticed a few familiar faces struggling at the opposite end of the gym.
“We need to get to Tony, David and Roger… they aren’t going crazy!!!” Stephanie noted.
“Good idea!” Ashley shoves the line of zombie looking people and runs to the bottom, all the while they shouted for the guys names.
“Holy s**t!! Look down there!!” David points to the gym floor and watches as Stephanie and Ashley run through zombie students.
“We need to get down there!!” Tony yells. As they beat as many people (if you consider zombies people) as they could to reach the girls. But when they finally found each other, the eyes of crazed kids trapped them in the center.
[insert crazy fight scene… I really can’t do those]
Ashley stumbled to the record box on the mini stage of the Gym, and the moment the zombie DJ grabbed her from behind… her hand slammed onto the record player and pressed play.
[creaking]
[whooshing wind]
[heavy footsteps]
[thunder clap]
[wolf howl]
[Motown Beat Begins]
It's close to midnight
And something evil's lurking in the dark
The zombies have suddenly stopped their evil rampage, causing our heroes to cease their fighting.
Under the moonlight
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
They move into a familiar formation. Like brainwashed troops in Hitler’s war. A block formation, with one in the front to lead the army.
You try to scream
But terror takes the sound before you make it
“What are they doing?” Roger asked, very suspicious and confused. David stood behind him, thinking. ’No way…’
You start to freeze
As horror looks you right between the eyes
“I think,” Stephanie began. “I think they’re gonna dance.”
“To what?” Tony asked, scratching his head as the zombie he was fighting left without a reason.
You're paralyzed
“THRILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!”
'Cause this is thriller,
Thriller night
And no one's gonna save you
From the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller,
Thriller night
You're fighting for life inside a killer,
Thriller tonight
“Why are they looking at us like that?” David shudders at the look of the dancing zombies. As if he was a traitor of something…
You hear a door slam
And realize there's nowhere left to run
“Just dance!!” Stephanie joins the crowd and Tony’s jaw drops.
“What did you just say??!!”
You feel the cold hand
And wonder if you'll ever see the sun
“If you don’t they will kill us!” Steph warned.
“How do you know?” Tony retorted. Roger began to follow the strange steps and David began to practice.
You close your eyes
And hope that this is just imagination
“Ashley’s surviving and it’s working for her.”
“AWESOME!!!” Roger’s get the hang of the dance and the zombies decide he’s not worth killing.
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time
“Fine!!” Tony moves with the crowd as they all slowly inch their way closer to the door.
'Cause this is thriller,
Thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes
You know it's thriller,
Thriller night
You're fighting to survive inside a killer,
Thriller tonight
They finally reached the double doors and ran through them. All 4 of them.
Wait…
Dammit!!!
The group peered inside and found Ashley still dancing with the Michael Jackson zombie fans. They all sweat dropped and weighed the options of saving her or leaving her there. Meh… she needs out.
“Hey, she’s really good…” Steph noticed.
“It should be easy. Dance in, grab Ashley, and dance out.” Tony deduced.
“Fine, but I’m not going back in there.” Roger shook his head. “One of them was giving me these weird looks.” The other’s agreed, and Tony was left to go in.
They're out to get you,
There's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you
Unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time
For you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night
I'll save you from the terrors on the screen
I'll make you see
The crowd patiently waited outside. When they heard the door open beside them and slam shut. Tony and Ashley were gasping for air and from the rush of running for your life.
“It should be fine.” Steph began. “The song is like, really long.”
She spoke too soon.
[Bang bang bang!!!]
The doors were slowly giving way to the weight of students. All of them murmuring violently as they tried to find their next target.
“You said the song was long!!” Roger pushed the door against angry zombie students, keeping them in.
“It is!!” Stephanie fired back. Nothing but the cries of zombies came through the door. She looked to the side. “Ashley…”
“What?” She held the other door the best she could with David next to her.
“Give it back!”
“Give what back?”
“Ashley!” Tony listened, confused at their bickering.
“Give them back their ******** music!!”
“NEVER!!” Ashley screamed. And as Steph made a grab to take the Thriller CD from her, a familiar sound echoed through the school.
*ding ding ding*
“GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR!!”
The gang dived away from the door which slammed open just a nanosecond later to release the hyped up ‘normal’ students inside.
“Woooohooooo!!!”
“SENIORS SUCK!!!”
“Like omg… you totally missed the pep rally… call u later!!”
Our heroes sat back and began to analyze everything that had just happened.
Pep rally begins.
Bell rings.
Students go crazy.
Students dance to Thriller.
Bell rings again.
Students turn back to normal.
The Bell obviously has something to do with it.
By why aren’t they affected?
Will they ever know?
Muahahahaha….
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sun Nov 05, 2006 @ 04:14pm · 0 Comments |
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Living Dead: An Adolescent's Dream And Nightmare |
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Chapter 1: The Beginning
Part 1: Anti-School Spirit (School Area)
Act 1: Tony, David and Roger Enter
It was 6th period. I sat at my desk, bored, sighing as I listened, or tried, to my biology teacher’s lecturing. “When is this day gonna’ end..?” I muttered to myself. I looked at digital clock that was implanted above the chalkboard, along with the intercom. It was 1:20.Just another five minutes until 5th… I thought. I had been reminded that there was going to be a pep rally next period. David and me were going to go. Of course, we both thought it was going to be boring like the rest of them, just as most of us rockers do… but.. We didn’t expect that it’d be the start of a whole new adventure. “Can’t wait for the weekend…” I said to myself. It was Friday. All I wanted to do was get home, finish whatever homework I hadn’t finished in school already, and relax. Maybe invite the guys, Ashley and Stephanie over. 1 minute.. I thought, looking at my watch which said it was 1:24. Suddenly, the girl behind me grabbed my shoulder. “Huh?” I said, waking up from my half asleep state. Just as I was about to turn around, the girl suddenly started crushing my shoulder. I yelped, feeling her nails dig into me. Luckily, I was wearing my Punisher jacket, which reduced the pain. But not even that prepared me from what was going to come. Suddenly the Teacher grabbed a yardstick and walked in my direction. As soon as she was at least two feet from me, she swung the stick at my face. I quickly titled my head, dodging the attack. “What th-- AARRRG!!” I yelped louder this time, the girl began to gradually strengthen her grip. I was pissed, confused and scared all at one. I swung back and delivered a heavy backhand to the girl’s face. I smashed her head off. My eyes widen. I grabbed my stuff and ran the hell out of there.
I gasped. I ran towards the double doors that lead to the outside. Suddenly, a door to another classroom swung open. I got into fighting stance, sliding my feet forward, getting ready to charge. It was David. I sighed in relief. I walked towards him while he was taking a breather. I tapped his shoulder. Suddenly he jumped up, putting his fists up, startled. I laughed. He then sighed. “Thank god.. You alright, man?” he asked. I nodded and then asked him the same thing. He responded with a nod as well. “Did they attack you, too?” he asked. Before I said anything, a Security guard suddenly came out of nowhere and swung a beat stick to my face. SMACK! I fall to my back. I rubbed my face, grunting. David kicked the Security Guard’s stomach, pushing him away. He then helped me up, I noticed that the Security guard also held a 2’ x 4” in his other hand. “s**t..” we both said. We got into fighting positions. This was going to be a fight I’m going to remember..
After some jabs, roundhouse kicks and a couple of splinters, we defeated the Security guard, only getting minor bruises. We grabbed the weapons, the beat stick for me and the 2 x 4 for David. I also grabbed the security guard’s walkie talkie, placing it in my pocket. I sighed and muttered to myself “What the hell is going on…?” “Why are you getting the walkie talkie?” David asked me. “Whatever they’ll say, we can hear.. So we can find out where they’ll be at.. Also, if we beat another one, we can get that one to stay in touch,” I explained to him. “Oh, I see.” We then began to walk to the door of the outside hallways. David and me were glad to see it was clear.. Until we looked to the left. We saw someone running toward our direction. “Damn, can we get some kind of a break!?” I said. David then pointed out to me that it was Roger. I sighed in relief. He finally reached us. “Hey! You guys are okay!” he said. We nodded. “So you got attacked too, huh?” “Yea,” was Roger’s response. We looked around to see if we were safe, and then a thought came to my head. A question. “Hey, Roger, did you get attacked by a security guard?” “Yea.. Why?” “Well, did you notice if he had a Walkie talkie?” I asked. He nodded. “Well.. Did you get it?” “No.. why would I?” “it could help us, duh!” I sighed and left the walkie talkie that I had gotten with Roger and left to the J wing. I saw the body of the security guard on the ground. I saw his fingers move and I jumped slightly, I quickly delivered a heel drop to his head. It exploded. “Woah..” was all that came out of my mouth. I quickly grabbed the walkie talkie and left, Just as I swung the door opened, the bell that tell us to go to the next period rang. I blinked. I walked forward and looked around, and met eyes with my two friends, who had the same baffled look. Why are we confused? Everyone seemed normal again. And I mean normal. What the hell is going on… I thought. It was fifth period. I had remembered that today was a pep rally, David and me were allowed to go. So we decided not to wait at our fifth periods and instead wait at the outside doors to the gym. Roger later joined us after getting his bag, David and me having a ‘disease’ in which we always need to have our bags with us, even when we’re not supposed to. I guess the two of us are lucky like that. It’s hard for me to forget this moment.. Since… all of this happened in one minute. That was one long minute.
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Fri Oct 27, 2006 @ 10:07pm · 1 Comments |
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The Dark One's diary of thoughts. |
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The Dark One: Darkness; amount of darkness. Synonoms:Abyss. Antonyms:Brightness.
But.... to me... darkness... is more than simply describing the darkness of something... it is one of God's special gifts... when you first get it... you simply hate it... you don't want to have it around you... it scares you.. as you get older.. some people still end up having that emotion... only accepting it for when you want to sleep... but.. I.. not only do I love it during sleep.. but bathe in it as my body and mind are up and working... If you can learn to take advantage of darkness's functions...you'll feel better.. knowing you somewhat can be in conjuction in it.. but most people won't try to do that... because they find it odd... and when society finds something weird or out of place.. they try to avoid it... this part of the reason people such as me are never really accepted in today's world... I especially love it mixed with rain.. when I was child, I used to think rain was from God's eyes... God sad or upset about how is wonderful creations came out to be... so destructive... now I know what it really is.. clouds that have absorbed more than it's fill of water vapor.. but I continue to hold that other theory along with it.. maybe God can't really cry... so he uses the atmosphere to show his emotions... I wonder what it really is... hmm...
Angela: The Earth can cry just as much as any human can....or any animal...or any creation. When I was little...I thought that when it rained, it was because the Earth was sad, and in pain. And when I thought of hurricanes, and such...I thought of that as Earth's ways of getting rid of the hurts....the places and things that have the most pain seeping into that area of ground. And it seemed, like every time I was stressed, it would rain.....it would rain every time I was sad...or depressed. And when I felt better, it stopped. Maybe that's my sign, huh? Mom got to see an Angel, it rains to tell me it's okay....that everything in life shares the pain we all feel....Or maybe...that's a stupid opinion.. Even if I say I hate the rain...it makes me feel....real again.
The Dark One: ... Earth... what is it really..? Is it another being..? A whole piece of mass in this never ending space known as the universe? Maybe.. Earth... is a being.. just like us.... if it lives and breathes.... if it has special needs.. wouldn't that make it.. human...? In Science, Earth is one of the nine.. or recently, eight planets of a solar system. It is the only planet with life... so.. doesn't that make it.... different...? Just like... we're different... from every other living thing.....?
Angela: Yeah, that makes it different...Hey, this I feel is...odd to wonder.....but do you think its possible...that some people on Earth....are made simply to be different and stand out...? So that they think differently....and the world progresses more because of it...?
Possibly... or maybe... their destiny goes even further.... to were it'll effect... the whole exisiting... universe... maybe.. those humans.. are supposed to lead us... to a promised land... maybe.. it's like.. in Final Fantasy VII... a lifestream....
The Dark One: I must depart from this world with this last passage in my diary... who I've been sharing with my confused friend.. she's having a hard time understanding love... and is in a confusing relationship... I wonder what goes on in her head.. suddenly.. I feel getting off that topic though...
.. I think everyone is a bit freaky in their own unique way. Just not as bad.. or.. good as others... I for one.. feel like I'm a one of a kind person.. do you agree? Not many people love to write and fight... not many people have love and joy mixed with hate and depression.. it's something I borrowed from the darkness.. I think.. darkness has influeneced every bit of my actions.... to hide and sneak.. to always be around in it's own unique way... darkness has helped human for ages.... weather they know it or not...
TonytheBloodPhoenix · Sun Sep 10, 2006 @ 01:39am · 4 Comments |
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