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my life
dont read.....ok u can
i dont know wht to do with my life....honestly.i feel that my closest friends are drifting away and im starting to feel alone.my bf is miserable because of me(cause i have depression) and i dont get y he's still with me...he keeps saying that he's the luckiest guy in the world being with me and i dont know if i can believe that cause everytime he says something like that it turns out to be bullshit. i dont make him happy,he never wants to be with me...im wondering every second of the day"y is he still with me?" i mean all of my pasts bfs cheated on me dozens of times. but he hasnt. he does have and attitude problem and he;s disrespectful,but i feel like i have no place in this relationship. i have no authority(he doesnt listen to me)and he doesnt respect my feelings. but above all, he's a great guy and he does have a big heart... he just doesnt know how to use it. he makes me happy(idk wht makes him think he doesnt) sure im not the giddy type were i smile all the time, but idk how to show him he makes me happy. he says(and i knw he means it whn he says it) that im his best gf ever, for one i let him be himself and not sumone i want him to be, i dont need attention, im VERY understanding, and he says i have a not understandable personality(idk if thts good or bad).i dont lie i hate it whn ppl lie.i try my best to make him happy but idk if i even do. i love him with everything that i am but there are just...obstacles(ill call them) that get me angry and i hate it whn he doesnt see y. i feel bad tht im making him suffer, and my anger is making him suffer more. which gets me more confused y he's still with me,idk y he doesnt end his suffering byu being with me, as much as i wanna be with him i dont want him to suffer.i hate being angry and i hate taking it out on him its just that my past hasnt been the best. ive has lots of problems and misfortunes. there aer things that happend to me that i will never forget...and those are the things that make me angry. they haunt my mind till i lose my mind.i feel like im un-lovable and that no one evn cares abt me...ppl say they do but the way im treated doesnt say so.idk wht to do...im lost...angry...and....most abdently...alone.





deaths_cursed_child
Community Member
deaths_cursed_child
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