Haven't updated this in ages. I guess I will. Hmm...

I'm 17 now. I still feel the way I felt when I was 15, in some respects. Sometimes, I do wish I could go back to being young. s**t was way easier then... But at the same time, I've become a more stable and intelligent individual. Although I'm lonely, I guess I've grown to come to terms with it.

They say that when you love someone, you either never stop, or you never loved them at all. While I feel that that may be a bit extreme, I agree with the gist of it. Take from that what you will.

I think I'm happy, but I don't know. There are ups and downs in my life. But... that's what life is, really, so it's no surprise. I don't want to take my first steps into the real world, but soon enough, I'll have to... And I'm afraid of what I'll find. There's no such thing as not being afraid of anything. I think this is one of the biggest things I'm afraid of. That, dying, and maybe spiders.

Yesterday, the world hit me like a ton of bricks. I've lost my love, I've lost my childhood (that sounds more dramatic than it should, but it's true; I'm not a child anymore, and I need to start taking my first steps into becoming an adult), and I feel like I'm losing my life sometimes, because of my "condition" of being overweight. So I'm taking my first steps with losing weight, too. Sigh. This year is gonna be hard for me. Harder than last year. But I'm sure it will be filled with joy, too. Maybe after a year of being single, I'll find someone who I can share my life with again. One can only hope.