Details
- Member Since
- 10/30/2007
- Gender
- Male
About
22 years old.Made this account in '07.
I never imagined how significant the years following that would be.
In '07 I labeled myself as a Christian, simply curious of philosophical differences between people. I was mildly homophobic. On the tennis and swim team.
In '08, I had a crush on a guy in high school. Came out of the closet, but only to myself. Got involved with theatre for the first time in a decade. Played the role of the Ghost of Christmas Past [and Future] in a Christmas Carol.
In '09, played a villager by the name of The Candle Man in Beauty and the Beast. Dropped out of the swim team because tired of waking up at 4am. Got my Eagle Scout. Lifeguard in the summer. Decided to go into Computer Science for my first year of community college. That fall I played a minor character [reporter] in a play.
Spring of '10, I played as Barry in the play Boys Next Door. Barry was a paranoid schizophrenic with daddy issues. The play was about a group of mentally disabled people (varying degrees of disabled) living under a caretaker. As you can see, theatre became a huge passion of mine; made so many great friends through the theatre there, I wish I could live through some of those moments again!
Fall of '10 I played as Joe in The Shadow Box. Play was depressing. Enjoyed the part I think? I don't know. That play did weird things to my head. I was an angry, bitter, stressed out person that semester and sometimes I think I got creepily attached to my character.
Spring of '11 I played in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum as Hysterium. I believe I enjoyed this play and role the most of all my theatre experiences to my present day.
Summer of '11 got a great job as a Coral Reef Mate at Florida Sea Base of Boy Scouts of America. Best Learning Experience Of My Life. I got terrible reviews at first, but by the middle of the summer, my reviews shot up to 9s and 10s. My employer said in a group meet "This guy right here got his ratings from s**t to 9s and 10s" and I got a standing ovation.
Fall of '11, Ruby Hall at MSU. Still computer sci major. Made a couple good friends next door. Private room to myself. Video game club. Swam to keep in shape. I believe I met CM that year. What I thought was a relationship was just a ******** apparently.
Spring of '12 I switched to Psychology. Happier with that major change but still hoping to see where it takes me. Summer comes, and I go back to Sea Base but end up returning early for some reason. Fall of '12 CM threatens restraining order. Meet RH over winter break. After a few weeks, RH stops responding. Apologize to CM when encountered on campus. Bad idea. No Contact order from Dean implying an expulsion threat.
Nov '12 to July '13 was the most painful time period of my life. I suppose that isn't saying much considered how fortunate I have been to be able to skim through college without even needing a job on campus or having a need for substantial scholarships and loans like others. Life hasn't been to difficult really. My family loves me. I always have had friends I could count on. But '12 was a year of obsession, depression, and anger. I thought about CM every ******** day of the whole ******** year. Ze was my treasure, the most beautiful person I had ever met. I had to acquire zer as my love. I would never again find someone so physically beautiful, I would have done anything, absolutely anything to have obtained zer as my lover. I lost my mind that year. Why couldn't I handle the rejection? Why couldn't I just say "That's okay, I will find someone else and I will respect your decision." instead of resorting to stalking behavior and nearly ruining my life with a harassment charge? I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could have controlled myself. I felt so excruciatingly lonely.
By Fall '13 I was finally putting the pieces of my head back together. With CM having graduated, I wasn't forced to having to pass by him on campus. I met KW in October through my roommate, and we are partners to this day. Just for a little over 2 months so far, but he has been so healthy for me. I don't know if I'd be typing this if I hadn't found him to keep me sane. I kinda don't want him to know how much I need him ha.
The future with my Psychology undergraduate degree lies ahead after next semester. Where will I go and what will I do? Well I certainly want a year break before grad school so I'm looking at some local opportunities.
My favorite thing to do here on Gaia nowadays is to check out the Lifestyles Forum and give/receive advice on Life issues. I wish to be a therapist one day.
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