Itz Ashley's Awesome Random Time!!!

Hey it's Ashley's Awesome Random Time!!-crowd cheers- THANK U THANK U!!!
here are VERY random things i felt like puttting up on here..... deal with it -.-

I gossip , so i guess i'm a b!tch.
I show a little skin , so i guess i'm a skank.
I like to paint my nails , so i guess i'm a prep.
I say whats on my mind , so i guess i'm ignorant.
I've cried , so i guess i'm high maintenance.
I've been heartbroken , so i guess i'm pathetic.
I've been stabbed in the back , so i guess i'm a drama queen.
I look in the mirror , so i guess i'm concieted.
I've been depressed , so i guess im an emo.
I've talked to someones boyfriend , so i guess i'm a slut.
I like to wear makeup , so i guess im a fake.
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The sh!t you hear about me might be true but then again it could be as fake as the b!tch who told you.
So throw me a label; you'll do it anyways.
f u c k what you see && f u c k what you heard; this is the real me♥


WAT KIND OF PET ARE YOU?

I Am a Ferret














You are happy, carefree, and a total kid at heart.
You have a ton of energy, and you're always up for having fun.

You are a total charmer, and people can't help but be delighted when you're around.
You are affectionate, social, and friendly. You love people as much as they love you.

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FRIENDS
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FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we ******** up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your s**t and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds a** that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "b***h drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side!
(We have cookies!)

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You know you live in 2009 when...
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1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have MSN or Myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Now you are thinking, "I have to put this on my profile!"

13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

( I totaly fell for this on a profile and this made me laugh!)

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Sayings/quotes:
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'Orange! The manly pink!'-My brother Carlos

'Training bra...the new fangled technology!'- My brother Carlos

'It takes two to tango but three to lambada!' -my brother: Carlos

'Silly (insert name) tricks are for kids!' -me

'Life sucks, and than you die. Yeah, i should be so lucky.' -Jacob Black: Breaking Dawn

'Love is irrational. The more you love someone, the less anything makes sense.'-Bella Swan: Twilight.
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15 things to do at WAL*MART
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1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in shoppers' carts while they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee in housewares, tell him/ her in an official tone "Code Blue." and watch what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks how they may help you, start crying and say "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspicously, humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes on the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO!!!! It's those voices again!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room; wait a while, then yell very loudly "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
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Women's Vocabulary
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Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

- Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".

Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing"
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Things That Piss Me Off
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People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the ******** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". ******** off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the ******** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No d**k nose, I paid 9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the ******** ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know a*****e, you ******** pulled me over.

When people say "Life is short." What the ********?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever ******** does!! What? Are they going to ******** do something that's longer?

When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here a*****e

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Women Superiority
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We got off the Titanic first.

Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women's clothes.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxi's stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.

If we're not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male's Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

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Wise Thoughts
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?