Well isn't this nice?

Just you, me, and the internet sitting down for a nice chat.

Would you like some tea? Coffee? Water? No?

Meh, ******** liquids. You can hydrate your body with your own awesome, right? Ha-ha. Funny.

But Listen, You know, life’s not all fun and games and pie. Oh, no.
That pie is served with a can of pain, and baby, it’s your lucky day; Because I’m opening it for ya.

I will open your can of pain like a ******** automated can opener.

Watch out, I’m plugged in.