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The story opens with a prologue, similar to the opening scene of A Clockwork Orange, where a miserable Conker says that he is now "king of all the land", and begins to tell the player his story.The morning after a night of binge drinking, Conker awakes to find himself in an unfamiliar land with a terrible hangover. Having no other choice, he begins a long journey with the goal of returning home to his girlfriend, Berri. While he is trying to get home, he also must avoid the minions of the Panther King, who wishes to use Conker as a side table leg; his scientist, Professor von Kripplespak, meanwhile, is tired of being bossed around by the Panther King and plots his vengeance.[2]
Along the way, Conker finds himself in a variety of situations, including having to recover a bee hive from some enormous wasps, confronting an opera-singing pile of feces, being turned into a bat by a vampire, and even getting drafted into a war between grey squirrels and a nazi-like race of teddy bears simply known as the "Tediz".
While this is occuring, a thug working for Don Weaso, head of the Weasel Mafia, abducts Berri from her home with the intention of using her as an exotic dancer for his nightclub.
Near the end of the game, Berri and Conker are enlisted by Don Weaso to rob a bank. When they get into the vault, they find the Panther King, who has Don Weaso shoot Berri to death and prepares to turn Conker into a side table leg. About this time, Professor von Kripplespak reveals a xenomorph hiding in the Panther King’s chest; the xenomorph bursts out of the king, killing him. Don Weaso uses this opportunity to escape. The vault then turns into a space ship and launches into space, where the xenomorph attacks Conker. Conker opens an air lock, pulling von Kripplespak into the vacuum of space and making it easier to fight the xenomorph.
As Conker is about to be killed by the xenomorph, everything freezes due to the game locking up, and Conker is allowed to ask the Programmers for whatever he wants (who communicate to Conker with a command line). He gets a katana, and is transported to the Panther King's throne room. He then decapitates the xenomorph, and is crowned king, calling back to the prologue. Conker is unhappy with this result, however, as he does not want to be king, and he forgot to ask the Programmers to bring Berri back to life.
Conker returns to the pub at the beginning of the game, drowns his sorrows, and then stumbles off into the night again, except he goes in the direction opposite to where he went last time.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTVoci2iNUQ