I swear to Chuck Norris, this is the most distracting, long, annoying and funny profile you will read. EVER

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
Drugs! Gimme Drugs! Gimme Drugs!
I don't need it, but I'll sell what you got
Take the cash, and I'll keep it
Eight legs to the wall, hit the gas, kill 'em all
And we crawl! And we crawl! And we crawl!
You be my detonator

Love! Gimme love! Gimme love!
I don't need it, but I'll take what I want
From your heart, and I'll keep it
In a bag, in a box, put an "x" on the floor
GIMME MORE! GIMME MORE! GIMME MORE!
Shut up and sing it with me.

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
From mall security
To every enemy
We're on your property
Standing in "V" formation
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
Let's blow an artery
Eat plastic surgery
Keep your apology
Give us more
DETONATION

More! Gimme more! Gimme more!
Let me tell you 'bout the sad man
Shut up and let me see your jazz hands
Remember when you were a MADMAN?
THOUGHT YOU WAS BATMAN!
And hit the party with a gas can
KISS ME YOU ANIMAL!!!
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
You run the company
******** like a Kennedy
I think we'd rather be
Burning your
Information
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
Let's blow an artery
Eat plastic surgery
Keep your apology
Give us more
DETONATION

Right here, right now
All the way in Battery City
The little children raised their open filthy palms
Like tiny daggers up to heaven
And all the Juvee halls
And the Ritalin rats
Asks angels made from neon and ******** garbage
SCREAM OUT!
"What will save us?"
And the sky opened up

Everybody wants to change the world
Everybody wants to change the world
But no one, no one wants to die
Wanna try, Wanna try, Wanna try,
Wanna try, Wanna try, Wanna try!
Now
I'll be your detonator

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
Make no apology
It's death or victory
On my authority
Crash and burn
Young and loaded
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
Drop like a bullet shell
Dress like a sleeper cell
I'd rather go to hell
Then be in
Purgatory
Cut my hair
Gag and bore me
Pull this pin
Let this world
Explode


That was Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance. I am re-discovering my love for them heart

Me!: heart

My new hair...that was the closest style, but it's def. darker red...scaf and kappa (on my head) are for HP, books for writing, pants and belt for Aikido, violin 'cuz I play it, and penguins 'cuz I love them!

Hi, this is my completely re-designed about section smile

Well, there are lots of things I would like to say. Let's start with some basics.
Bwahahaha!!! I am now a sophmore!!!
I like science, reading, writing, and somedays math. I'm really good at that stuff, but (lol) I suck at grammer and spelling. Ironic, no? Hmmmm.....I usually get good grades, and I'm in lots of advanced classes...... whee
I'm also an aspiring writer. I'm working on a book right now, which is about 1/3rd the way finished! The rough draft, that is lol. I also LOVE writing HP fanfic, and I completed the first half of my fanfic I've been working on since like 7th grade a few weeks ago! Go me!
MUSIC:
This shall be a long section...XD
So...listening....
I love rock music. Punk, metal, classic, hard.....you name it, I love it. The only music I REALLY don't like is country. I only like a tiny bit of rap, and classical only fits in because I play the violen and there isn't much choice, but I don't listen to it. Just play it. Really. I love movie soundtracks though, espcially the Harry Potter ones. I like some pop music, (Lady Gaga!!!) but most of it I can't stand D:

My favorite song of all time is Lips Like Morphine by Kill Hannah. I have the music video on my profile. My favorite bands are as follows:
OLDIES (somewhat) BANDS
1. Guns 'N Roses
-Welcome to the Jungle
-It's So Easy
2. The Who
-My Generation
-Pinball Wizard
3. Aerosmith
-Mama Kin
-Walk This Way
4. Metallica
-One
5. AC/DC
-Highway to Hell
-Heatseeker
6. Ozzy Osborne
-Mr. Crowley
7. Joan Jett
-I Hate Myself For Loving You
8. The Rolling Stones
-Paint it Black
9. Pat Benatar
-Heartbreaker
10. Van Halen
-Hot For Teacher

NEWER BANDS
1. Three Days Grace
-Animal I Have Become
-I Hate Everything About You
2. Queens of the Stone Age
-Sick, Sick, Sick
3. Kill Hannah
-Lips Like Morphine
4. My Chemical Romance
-The Sharpest Lives
-To The End
-Na Na Na
5. Bullet For My Valentine
-Waking the Demon
-All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)
6. Desturbed
-Ten Thousand Fists
7. Serj Tankin/System of a Down
-B.Y.O.B.
-Sky Is Over
8. Papa Roach
-Forever
-Hollywood Whore
9. Harry and the Potters
-The Blood of A Prince
-(Not Gonna Put On) The Monkey Suit
-The Song For the Death Eaters
10. Thousand Foot Krutch
-Phenomenon
-Inhuman
-Falls Apart
I added my favorite songs by the artist.

Lol, Gerard Way is ******** hot.
This is Slash, my guitar hero. lol XDDD he's amazing
Domo Revolution!!! Join us if you love Domo!!!!

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME;
-MISS MURDER. 100 ******** %. 308K. THAT'S RIGHT. BE JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-I skipped 3 years of math
-I have two copies of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (best book EVA)
-I got my mum into guitar hero XD
-COLOUR HAS A ******** 'U' IN IT, YA HEAR? A 'U'!!!!!!!! stupid americans.....-.-
-I speak bits and pieces of about 6 languages
-I will kick your a** at swimming
-Clint is my number 1 whore...he is also the inventor of the Neo Brand (don't. ask.)
-I have about 100 CD's
-Quinn is my almost twin...yeah....that's right....XP
-Ian, Alyssa, and Zoe are my oldest friends...FIRST GRADE BABY!!! WOOT!
-I play violin, and a bit of cello, viola, and piano
-I'm an orange belt in Kokikai Aikido
-EDIT!!! My bro, his best friend and I now have a wizrock band! (Tarantallegra).
-I have cut my finger with a butter knife and my tounge with a lollipop before...don't ask HOW, but I did.... ninja
-I've read them and think they're OK, but REALLY people, there is NO F-ING WAY IN HELLLLLL ******** TWILIGHT IS BETTER THAN HARRY POTTER!!!! IT HAS ALMOST 0 DEPTH TO IT!!!!!! DIE FREAKY OVER-OBSESSED TWILIGHT PEOPLE!!! sorry, rantness...
-My most played song on ITunes is "The Blood of a Prince" by Harry and the Potters, with 221 play count and going higher
-I am a living, breathing female and I HATE TWILIGHT!!!!
-I've seen professional productions of Spamalot, Wicked and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I plan on seeing Sweeney Todd, American Idiot, and Avenue Q someday. REPO! The Genetic Opera on stage would be epic, too.
-I love theatre. And, my school's theatre troupe/program is one of the top ten in the COUNTRY. razz suck it
-A Very Potter Musical is the most AMAZING MUSICAL EVER!!!! >D
hmmm...adding more later.....


RANDOM ICON TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry Potter;
So take that!
lol, that's SOOO Vicki!
Yeup, that's me!
DAMN IT!!! That's the whole reason I watched the 4th movie! crying
lol
What if Frodo and Harry switched places? O.o
lol, I'm SOO there!
...best line of HBP
Hell yeah...the rest of you losers can go to heaven or hell...I don't care, I'm going to HOGWARTS BABY!!!!
...COMMING TO A MUGGLE THEATRE NEAR YOU!!!! AHHH!!!!! X.x
Ron DOES look funny! XD
So that's what happened that night...
Suck it up Princess Malfoy, rub some dirt in it!
...well, it was either that or Gandalf, so......XDHaven't you ever wanted to do that? I do!
lol, that was random
XDDD poor harry
BAD LITTLE BROTHER! DX *smacks Harry*
...pervs...
XDDD BEST ICON EVER!!!

NARUTO:
lol, Tobi broke down the door XD
For the love of GERARD WAY, put your pants on! X.x
Finally! Someone who understands!
IT'S MR. WALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol, I'm with Sasuke!!!
Aww man, I always thought it was because he's Chuck Norris gone anime....
Prove it
No s**t sherlock!
...wait, what brain?


Lol, random icons:
O.O
lol, you know Renji likes it XD
...that is the question of life
lol XDDD sweeney todd rocks
It should say Jinx is so mean to him....XDDD
One must become a guitar GOD before one can do THAT!!!
SO WHAT NOW YOU ******** PREPS???? WHAT NOW???
lol, this happens to me EVERY DAY!!!
XDDDDDDDD lol
lol
true that.....well...you can afford drugs in mexico...
and I saw you in your dance leotard
Better yet, the KNIGHT BUS!!!!!!!!!!!! rofl
Hell yes! I knew it!!!!!! whee

I hate Twilight!!! XDDD It fails!
XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Kick a** quotes:
"Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage."
-- Winston Churchill

"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed."
-- Benjamin Franklin, 1730

"I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions."
-- Lillian Hellman, subpoenaed to appear before the House Un-American Activities Committee, 1952

"To prohibit the reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be either fools or slaves."
-- Claude Adrien Helvetius, De l'Homme, Vol. I, sec. 4

"Fear of corrupting the mind of the younger generation is the loftiest form of cowardice."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"One cannot and must not try to erase the past merely because it does not fit the present."
-- Golda Meir, Israeli political leader (1898-197 cool

"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."
-- Salman Rushdie

"Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads."
-- George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright and critic (1856-1950)

"The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame."
-- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

"An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
-- Oscar Wilde

hings I Shall Not Do At Hogwarts (This thing is 16 pages long in Microsoft Word D8 )

-Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.
-The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
-I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
-House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
-Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
-Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
-I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms.
-I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
-I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
-Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
-I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
-I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
-I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
-Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
-I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor
-I am not a professor at all
-It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I
should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the
result would be.
-First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
-I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
-I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.
-I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
-If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does
DEATH!!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should
answer.
-I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
-There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts.
And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
-I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
-Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
-If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
-When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
-I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
-I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
-I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what
happens.
-I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
-I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
-I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
-I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
-I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
-Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
-My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
-I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.
-I will never point to Harry’s scar and ask him if his Voldy senses are tingling.
-I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
-I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school.
-I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Vegey Tales”.
-“To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriote career choice.
-I will not sing We’re Off to See the Wizard when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
-I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.
-Especially not with kazoos.
-I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
-I will not assassinate the current DADA teacher to get it over with.
-I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
-I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
-The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
-Calling Lucius Malfoy “Luscious Mouthful” is just plain gross
-I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”
-I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.
-When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Bat mobile, Robin!'
-I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.
-Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
-I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
-The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is
-I will not test my potions assignments by spiking Snape’s drink with them, especially not all of them at once
-I will not do the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I will to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
-Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
-I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets, especially not if it’s a one-way ticket
-Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.
-Will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.
-Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures, especially not if I actually have them
-Not allowed to prophesy the end of the world more than once.
-Not allowed to use silencing charms on my professors
-Not allowed to use silencing charms on my prefects
-Not allowed to use silencing charms, period
-Professor Umbridge is not the wicked witch of the west, and pouring it over her will not make her melt. Experimenting this will result in a detention
-Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
-Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned upon
-Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.
-Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are
-I am not to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy
-I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it
-I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom
-There is no bring a muggle to school day, and I am to stop insisting that there is
-When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."
-I am not authorized to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students, nor am I to give them out free of charge
-When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them, attempting to prove them wrong is indecent, especially if I can’t
-Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders
-I am not allowed to eat chocolate frogs in potions class, even if I brought enough for everyone. Dumping them on Professor Snape’s desk to prove this is unacceptable behavior
-It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".
-I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone it’s the new Dark Mark.
-I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwick’s wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it
-I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall, or anywhere else for that matter
-"Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
-Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights
-Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong
-So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them
-I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.
-Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.
-Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served
-It is not appropriate trade first years between houses
-Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes
-Neither is Dracula.
-If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated
-Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".
-Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.
-A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy
-Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong
-Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either
-Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny
-I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.
-However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it
-I will not insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical"
-I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play him. Even if he looks good in tap shoes
-The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate
-I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
-I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
-Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate
-Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'
-Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere
-I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves
-The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
-Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
-After the last unfortunate experience, I will not take the Hogwarts house-elves to see "Dumbo" as their Christmas treat. Furthermore, I will remember to put trampolines below the Astronomy Tower in case I momentarily overlook the first part of this resolution.
-I will not stack Professor Trelawny's tarot deck so that the first five cards are The Devil, The Tower, The Hanged Man, Judgment and Death.
-I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy Place”
-I will not run through the Great Hall shouting, “The Death Eaters are coming! The Death Eaters are coming!” Even if I yell April Fools! afterwards.
-Especially if it isn’t April.
-OMGWTF is not a spell
-I am not allowed to make light saber noises with my wand.
-I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
-Professor Flitwick is not Yoda
-I shall not make any jokes about Lupin and his 'time of the month'.
-"I've heard every possibal joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
-I will not refer to the Weasly Twins as 'bookends'.
-I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevey
-I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
-I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"
-I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
-Calling Ghostbusters in the hallway is a cruel joke to resident ghosts
-It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
-It is completely unnessisary for me to yell "BAM!" everytime I apparate
-I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
-I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween
-"Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an appropriate way to announce I'm about to conduct an experimental spell
-I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
-I will not go to class skyclad
-I will not lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet together to see if hot gay sex will occur
-I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion
-I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak
-There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
-I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
-Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
-I do not weigh the same as a Duck, nor shall I try to act like one
-I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous
-I will not lick Trevor
-Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
-I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
-I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
-I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book
-Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
-I am not to owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
-I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
-I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".
-I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two way mirrors as a Christmas present, especially if I don't tell her what it is.
-I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of "intelligent design."
-I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
-I will not convince the house elves to unionize.
-There are spoons. I will not destroy, transfigure, disappear or rename the cutlery so that there are no spoons.
-The Head Girl and Head Boy do not perform sexual favors.
-I will stop insisting that witchcraft is just a metaphor for lesbian sex
-Attempting to create real tribbles is expressly forbidden. Especially if it is for extra credit in the Care of Magical Creatures.
-I shall not suggest to Remus Lupin that "you and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals" and that we should "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."
-Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.
-Providing Engorgio charms to students that are... lacking... before the Winter Ball will make your Head of House most displeased.
-"You might be a pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.
-I will not use the words "pimp cane" infront of Draco Malfoy
-The condition of Professor Snape's hair has nothing to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."
-It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "once you go Black, you never go back."
-I should not ask Harry Potter if he wants to talk to my "snake".
-I am not Xena: Princess Warrior and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrace to the classroom
-During the anuall June Good vs. Evil battle, I shall not point my wand skywards and yell, "There can only be ONE!!!"
-Before casting spells, I will not hold up my wand and yell, "I got the power!"
-Professor Snape is not the Metatron.
-Making jokes about how Sirius Black got killed by drapery is not funny
-I will not teach the veela the lyrics to "Oops, I Did It Again" even if they ask nicely.
-Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane' and I should stop asking if I can be his ho.
-Stop asking Hannah Abbot if her milkshake brings boys to the yard.
-Getting my little brother to record his latest thrash masterpiece on a Howler so I can listen to it is a good idea in theory, but not in actuality.
-I do not have a Pikachu Patronus, no matter how kickass that would be.
-I will not refer to house elves as "self-disciplining submissives".
-If a classmate is jingling the change in his pockets, I will not laugh at him for "playing with his Knuts".
-Despite the fact that it takes place in a dungeon, I may not safeword out of Potions class.
-Singing "If I Were a Rich Man" around the Weasleys is rude.
-I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.
-Changing my name to Mary-Sue does not guarantee me hook-up rights with anyone I please.
-Kingsley Shacklebolt is allowed to hurt me if I refer to him as 'my *****'.
-Just because the black guy dies first in Muggle movies does not mean that will apply to Kingsley.
-I deserved the extra punishment when I sang "Fat Bottomed Girls Make the Rocking World Go Round" to Madame Maxime.
-"Beaters do it with Wood" is not funny, even if the only people who aren't laughing are the Weasley twins and Oliver.
-Under no circumstances am I to attempt to create a Holy Hand Grenade.
-I will not Polyjuice myself and a friend to look like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, then give each other passionate kisses in public.
-Forming a LGBT support group on campus is permissible. Claiming that it was founded in 1945 by Tom Riddle is not.
-Replying every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you ******** Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.
-Asking Tonks to change to Marilyn Monroe or Jenna Jameson before having sex is just plain cruel and evil.
-I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.
-I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
-Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
-I am not allowed to ask Hermione and Ginny if they know what a 'menage a trois' is.
-I will not send shampoo to Snape's office, no matter how badly he needs it.
-Naughty jokes regarding "Moaning" Myrtle are only funny the first time.
-Singing "Slytherins are Sexier" in Potion's class will not get me extra points.
-Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.
-Screaming "VOLDEMORT!" in crowded hallways is not in good taste.
-Stealing Draco's underwear and selling it on EBay to horny fan girls is not ethical, nor profitable (note to self: Steal Potter's underwear instead).
-I will not refer to Ron Weasley as "that red-headed twit" in polite company (impolite company is just fine).
-Making Harry Potter action figures without his permission is wrong. Making Draco Malfoy pay double for them is also wrong.
-I will not tell Grawp that "Hermy" will give him a kiss if he eats certain members of the faculty.
-"Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan
-Writing sexy love letters to Professor Dumbledore, signed by "Your Kitten", is not a ethical means to skip Transfiguration class (though it is effective).
-I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute.
-Having Colin and Dennis Creevy follow Harry Potter all day is cruel and unusual punishment.
-I will not sell pennies as priceless, Muggle collector coins.
-I will not spread rumors about Draco's deviant sexuality.
-Asking Professor Snape to show you how to make a love potion is not recommended.
-I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."
-Madam Pomfrey does not dispense condoms.
-Do not ask Professor Sinistra to show you "Uranus".
-A good way to piss Hermione off: Write "Hermione Granger was here" on multiple library books, thereby banning her from the library.
-Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammer school with him, is NOT Yoda in disguise.
-Telling the first years about the time your friend got eaten by the giant squid is NOT appropriate. Ever.
-No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
-Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".
-I will stop charming Professor Snape's robes to bright purple (or any bright color for that matter).
-Mail order dinosaurs are NOT good birthday presents for Hagrid. No matter how much of a discount you get on them.
-"Quidditch Players Do It in the Air" broom stickers are not allowed.
-Shaving Mrs. Norris is not a public service.
-Asking Professor Flitwick if there is a charm to remove clothes, or give you x-ray vision, is not permitted.
-Asking Professor Flitwick where Snow White is not permitted.
-I will not add the words “according to the prophecy” at the end of every sentence I say in Divination.
-Asking if wands are an “elegant weapon for a more civilized age” is not permitted
-Yelling “To infinity and beyond!” is only funny the first time I ride a broom.
-Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I will not start singing anything from Phantom of the Opera
-No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, Johnny Depp with scissors for hands is not lurking in any of them and I will not go looking for him.
-I am not allowed to go into the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber
-First years are not toys, and I will not teach the giant squid to fetch with them.
-The giant squid is not the Kraken, and Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow are not fighting over a chest on the royal yard of Durmstrang’s ship.
-Refering to the Maurader's Map as porn is never a good idea
-Voldemort does not “just need a nice big hug,” and I need to stop insisting this.
-He is also not evil because he is sex deprived.
-Replying to everything with “That’s what your mom said” is only funny if you are saying it to Sirius Black.
-Teaching first years the intricacies of swearing is not in good taste.
-Voldemort does not watch Opera
-Nor does he need to visit with Dr. Phil
-Dumbledore does not have 'nakie time'
-Comparing Hagrid to Chewbacca, while it may be humorous, can cause hurt feelings and therefore is not allowed.
-Under no circumstances is climbing the Whomping Willow allowed
-Moody is not a pirate
-I am not allowed to freeze over the Black Lake and set loose penguins on the grounds
-I am not allowed to start a psychology class for Draco, Ron or Harry.
-Nor am I allowed to say that Harry’s hatred toward Draco has anything to do with masked sexual tension. (What? He’s way way too girly to be straight.)
-I am not allowed to sacrifice first years upon the alter of Draco Malfoy.
-Nor am I allowed to make an alter for said Malfoy.
-I am not allowed to say that Peter Pettigrew owes Narsicssa child support. Again.
-Not allowed to ask why Neville's eyes are always dilated whenever he picks up Trevor.
-Professor Snape does not respond fondly too “Sev”, ”Debbie”, or Jesus.
-Even if you did just call him God.
-Not allowed to tell first years that Professor Sprout is actually the Jolly Green Giant.
-Especially if they do not know what the Jolly Green Giant is.
-Not allowed to sell my Muggle possessions to firsties.
-Especially not for outrageous prices.
-Whenever someone falls asleep in class I am not allowed to take advantage of that fact and steal their money.
-Even if they piss me off.
-Speaking of Collin, I am not allowed to steal his camera and hide it in the Chamber of Secrets.
-Or hang it over the Quidditch pitch.
-Speaking of Ron, I am not allowed to tell him that his position of Harry Potter’s best friend has been taken over by Aragog.
-Nor am I allowed to address him as “That one boy that’s ******** Harry.”
-Especially in front of anyone.
-I am not allowed to express my theory that Remus was ******** Sirius.
-Speaking of Seamus, I am not allowed to try to catch him with a butterfly net.
-Seamus is not a leprechaun. Not now, not ever.
-Even if he is short enough.
-Not allowed to give tours of Flich’s office. Especially, if I have “decorated” it. With whips and chains.
-Not allowed to refer to Snape as “Princess”.
-Or “My liege.”
-Not allowed to tell firsties that the Giant Squid comes out of the water at night to feast on sleeping children.
-There is no spell that can “Turn me Emo”, and I should probably stop asking.
-Not allowed to dress like old Volders, and walk around scaring firsties.
-No matter how funny it is.
-Not allowed to play “I Hate (Everything about You)” by Three Days Grace, whenever Harry and Draco get into an arugment.
-Dumbledore is not Santa. Not now, not ever.
-Not allowed to tell firsties that George is the boogeyman.
-Not allowed to run around screaming “Troll!” during an awkward silence.
-Not allowed to exorcise the Ghosts.
-No one cares if the robes make my a** look big. So I should probably stop asking if it does.
-Not allowed to set Lee’s tarantula on Ron.
-I am not allowed to steal Harry’s Invisibility Cloak.
-Nor turn it into an Invisibility Thong.
-Firsties are not up for adoption. And selling them is cruel.
-Spanking is not a punishment. Nor should I say it is.
-No matter who enjoyed it.
-The proper way to address my teachers is “Professor”. Not, “Your Highness”.
-Calling them “Daddy” or “Mommy” is just wrong.
-Not allowed to ask Crabbe what he and Draco really do in the Common room.
-Not allowed to “redecorate” the Gryffindor common room with emerald tapestry.
-Not allowed to change the Slytherin house colours to “Hunter’s Orange”
-Not allowed to dye my robes, “Hunter’s Orange”
-I am not the professor for the class “Defense against the Firsties”
-The proper uniform is not my birthday suit.
-And I probably shouldn’t tell firsties this either.
-Not allowed to send holiday greetings to the school under the name, “Voldemort”.
-I am not allowed to bring squirrels, ferrets, or any other type of weasel.
-Draco is not known as “Ferret boy.”
-Telling firsties this is not amusing.
-I should probably stop confussing Dumbledore and Gandalf
-I will not dress up as a Dementor and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to get him to do what I want
-Any reseblence between Nazgul and Dementors is completely coencidal
-I am not allowed to make a Hogwarts Fight Club.
-I will not convince Muggle-born first years that Pokemon are real and are running wild on the grounds.
-I will not paint the house elves blue and call them Smurfs
-Not allowed to impersonate Slytherins to get into their Common Room.
-Not allowed to make a sign that says, “COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE COOKIES!” and post it in the Common Room.
-I am not a pimp and should not claim otherwise.
-I will not say Hermione is my hoe and pimp her out.
-Not allowed to accuse Lucius Malfoy of being a pimp.
-Not allowed to make an Evil Overlord list and send it to Voldemort.
-Not allowed to buy pimp canes, whips, chains or hand cuffs and give them to Hermione for Christmas or her birthday.
-Not allowed to get drunk and appear at the front gates, wearing Slytherin robes.
-Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
-I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.
-Filch does not have a sister named Medusa.
-I will refain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".
-Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions indgredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones."
-I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "The Tremere Chantry".
-The Malfoys are not Draka.
-Hogwarts does not have a student council.Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal.Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword.
-Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.
-I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.
-I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized firebolt.
-The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.
-I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
-I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
-It was not an honest mistake.
-I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.
-I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.
-Or the teacher laundry.
-Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.
-While wand safety is an important issue, I am not long allowed distribute any pamphlet which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.
-No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.
-Chemistry and Potions don't mix.
-Umbridge is not married to Count Olaf
-I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
-"Liften Separatis crotchum" is not a real spell.
-I will not clain Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
-I am not a sloth Animagus.
-The Ravenclaws are not "Mentats in training".
-There is no such thing as an invisibility Thong.
-Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as "Admiral Naismith".
-42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.s.
-"The Impossibal Quiz" is not appropriate test prep material

Things Fred and George Aren't Allowed To Do
-I am not allowed to refer to pickled newt’s brain as “Snape Food”.
-The same rule applies to bat dung.
-I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in search of his “Pot o’ Gold.
-Nor am I allowed to tell people he’s a leprechaun on steroids.
-I may not question the Hufflepuff’s loyalty.
-I am not allowed to purposefully charm Filch’s underwear into a wedgie.
-Nor am I allowed to do it “by accident”.
-I am not allowed to yodel during important parts of Dumbledore’s speech.
-The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason. I may not tell First Years that there is a party down there.
-Especially when there isn’t.
-I may not refer to Sirius Black as “Seriously Black”.
-Just because I use air quotes does not mean the rules have changed.
-Nor am I allowed to call him a wigga.
-Blaise Zabini is not my “brotha from anotha motha”. I am not allowed to call him that.
-Nor am I allowed to call Draco Malfoy my “sista from anotha mista”.
-Even if I do suspect he”s a girl.
-“Like a cow in the springtime” is not an acceptable phrase to use in my essay. I may not do so.
-I am not allowed to smack others with my wand. For whatever reason, if I have a problem with somebody, I must go to a teacher.
-Professor McGonagall is not my “b***h”.
-Just because she morphs into a female animal does not make her my “b***h”.
-Nor is she my “home gurl”.
-I am not allowed to refer to my brother as my “clone”.
-He is not my “bookend” either.
-Nor is Ron, Percy’s “mini-me”.
-I am not allowed to send people in the hospital wing toilet seats
-I am not the Easter Bunny.
-I am not allowed to tell people I am the Easter Bunny.
-Just because I dress up in a rabbit costume, it does not mean I’m the Easter Bunny; it means I’m weird.
-I may not “frolic” to class.
-I may not sell Hermione’s homework for profit.
-I may not attempt to breed House Elves.
-Nor may I attempt to buy their children.
-I may not refer to Slytherins as “Children of the Korn”
-I am not allowed to call Harry “Scarface”.
-Nor am I allowed to call him “Pothead”.
-I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help “polishing their wand”. No matter how funny their reactions are.
-I may not perform last rights on Harry as he sleeps.
-I am not blind; I may not tell people I am.
-Nor is my brother dead. I may not tell them that either.
-The portrait of the Fat Lady is not called “Piggy”. I may not call her that. Nor may I encourage her to diet.
-I may not attempt to poke Nearly Headless Nick. No matter how fun it is.
-I may not initiate an Inter-House Bunking Day.
-I may not go to class in the Girl’s uniform.
-No matter how “breezy” I think the skirt is.
-Hagrid is not going to eat me.
-I am not “emo”. I may not act like I am.
-I am not allowed to refer to Dumbledore as “pops”.
-I am not a mutated bullfrog. I must remember this.
-There is no such thing as the “Ugly Disease”. I may not tell people that they have it.
-I am not allowed to randomly point at people and shriek.
-Nor am I allowed to claim that “their face burns my eyes”.
-Mike Rotch has heard every possible joke about his name; I may not repeat them.
-No, that was not a challenge.
-Building a giant model of the moon made entirely of cheese is not an acceptable extra-credit assignment.
-I may not refer to Peeves as “Peewee”.
-Nor am I allowed to call him Caspar; his name is Peeves.
-I may not question Ernie as to where “Bert” is.
-I am not allowed to ask Hermione why she has a squirrel on her head.
-That is her hair; I must leave it alone.
-I am not allowed to lick people just for the fun of it.
-Nor am I allowed to bite them. It is unsanitary.
-My father is not Micheal Jackson.
-Neither is my mother.
-I may not tell Professor Snape that I think he’s sexy.
-Nor may I tell him that I want to have his babies.
-I may not repeat that to any member of staff. I must remember that I’m male; it’s genetically impossible for me to have anyone’s babies.
-No, that was not a challenge.
-I am not Merlin.
-Just because I have a shiny hat does not make me Merlin.
-No one cares about the fact that I think I’m Merlin.
-I must get over my obsession of spoons.
-Millicent Bulstrode is not a man; I may not tell her she looks like one.
-I may not tell people that if they anger me I will eat their first born child.
-I may not steal Professor Trelawny’s glasses just because I like them.
-I may, however, tell her that they please me.
-Draco Malfoy is not a vampire. I am not allowed to “stake” him.
-I am not allowed to form Satanic cults simply because I’m bored.
-I may not step on the heads of First Years due to the fact that they’re shorter than I am.
-I am not allowed to inform people that they have cancer and will promptly die in four days.
-I may not answer “Yo Momma” when Professor McGonagall asks me if I’m paying attention in class.
-I may not attempt to bribe Professor Sprout. Especially with leftover vegetables from last night’s dinner.
-I may not publicly accuse Madame Pomfrey of “sampling” the medication.
-Nor may I offer to join her.
-Voldemort is not my uncle.
-Nor has he ever been.
-I am not allowed to stalk the First Years.
-Nor am I allowed to hunt them.
-Salazar Slytherin is not my “b***h”.
-In fact, I have no b***h.
-Hugging the wrong end of a Blast Ended Skrewt is a bad idea. I may not do so.
-Ron is not Hermione’s pimp. I may not tell everyone that he is.
-Nor am I her pimp.
-I may not attempt to “convert” the Hufflepuffs.
-I am not allowed to tell everyone that Malfoy blows Snape on a nightly basis.
-It is not my duty to inform the staff of the large bag of weed under Goyle’s bed.
-Especially if it turns out to be regular cut grass.
-I may not attempt to cut Snape’s hair.
-Nor am I allowed to sell it.
-Eating a bar of chocolate that weighs more than I do is a bad idea. I may not do so.
-I may not burst into tears every time someone smiles at me.
-I am not allowed to randomly develop an accent and switch them at will.
-The Centaurs are free-thinking creatures; I may not attempt to “tame” them.
-Nor am I allowed to attempt to breed them.
-I am not allowed to draw naughty stick figures on the wall as the teacher turns around.
-Nor am I allowed to openly mock her reaction.
-I may not dye my skin blue.
-Professor Dumbledore is not a woman in disguise; I may not tell everyone that he is.
-I may not steal the bludgers and release them during Potions class.
-I am not allowed to sign Lucius Malfoy up to be a “playmate”. Nor am I allowed to laugh when he gets accepted.
-I may not tell Ron that Hermione is a lesbian just to see what he does.
-I am not allowed to inform Remus that his last name rhymes with “poopin”.
-I may not claim to be the next Dark Lord.
-Nor may I claim to be “Hogwarts Queen”.
-I am not allowed to steal the toilet seats in every bathroom.
-Nor am I allowed to sell them.
-I am not offer to cook people’s owls.
-Trevor is not food.
-I am not allowed to strip dance for extra credit.
-I may not steal everyone’s left shoe.
-Nor may I steal their right ones.
-I may not steal Collin’s camera and use it to take nude pictures of myself.
-I am not allowed to try and kiss the Giant Squid.
-I am not allowed to tell Cho that she’s putting on weight nicely just to see if she’ll cry.
-I may not attempt to eat Filch’s cat, Mrs. Norris.
-Nor may I attempt to eat his pants.
-I may not point and laugh at the Ravenclaws.
-I am not allowed to scream “Rape! Rape!” in a public place every time Professor Snape walks by.
-I am not allowed to jump students in dark hallways.
-Nor am I allowed to jump professors there either. In fact, I’m not allowed to jump anyone, anywhere. Dark hallway, or not.
-No, that was not a challenge.
-Rita Skeeter in her animagus form will not make a good pet. I may not keep her.
-I may not throw a wild, raucous party the day before an exam.
-In fact, I’m not allowed to throw a party at all.
-I may not tell Luna that she belongs in a phsyc ward. No matter how crazy I think she is.
-I may not steal cutlery from the kitchens.
-Nor may I attempt to steal the House Elves.
-Fawkes is not food. I may not eat him.
-I am not allowed to recite Professor McGonagall’s dating history to the class.
-Especially when I know the list is fabricated and includes several stray cats.
-Draco Malfoy is not Harry Potter’s illicit lover. I may not tell people he is.
-Stripping during breakfast is not a great way to show Gryffindor bravery; I may not do it.
-Nor may I do it during dinner.
-I am not allowed to tell people that I’m “The Fredinator” and that my brother is “The Georgetor”.
-My life motto may not be “what happens in Hogwarts, stays in Hogwarts”.
-I am not allowed to take any Slytherin up on the challenge: “You wouldn’t dare hex me, Weasley.”
-Not am I allowed to hex them unchallenged.
-I may not snorkel in the prefect’s bathroom.
-I may not wonder aloud why Myrtle looks so pale today when I know she’s in the room.
-Nor may I mock the way she died.
-I am not allowed to attempt to suck other people’s thumbs.
-I may not claim that Snape is Dumbledore’s b***h. Nor may I allude to any threesome of sorts between them and Voldemort.

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T PUT ON TEE SHIRTS
1 Quidditch players do it in the air
2 Love potion number nine: in professor Snape’s quarters
3 Potter 6: Voldie 0
4 Harry, Who died and made you boss?
5 Deatheater and proud of it
6 Join the dark side we have cookies
7 Teach the squid to play fetch; use the first years
8 Need a date to the ball; ask the squid
9 Draco Malfoy; Magenta in disguise
10 Lucius Malfoy; pimp extraordinaire
11 Beaters do it with Wood
12 Need help with love? Visit Madam Rue
13 Yes it is as bad as you think and they are you to get you Harry!
14 Ron, Argog want to talk to you!
15 Hermione is here by banned from the library
16 Draco is my property so hands off Harry
17 If you want a Christmas present you need to tell Dumbledore in June
18 Peeves is my god
19 I smell like I sound, I’m lost then I’m found, and I’m hungry like the wolf (around Lupin especially)
20 If you wear garlic on a necklace Snape can’t get you
21 If you want the answer use legilismency to get it cause I’m not telling you!
22 Pink is the new black
23 Defense Against the Dark Arts Post Available: Applicants will be paid 500,000 Galleons for every year past the first that they survive.
24 Save the broomsticks: ride a wizard
25 Severus Snape is really Rocky Horror
26 True potions masters follow the directions backwards
27 I am the founder of the fifth Hogwarts house
28 Voldermort is Harry’s real father
29 Snape is Harry’s real father
30 international Hug a Deatheater day is today!
31 All hail the Dark Lord!
32 CHAMBER OF SECRETS, OPEN 24-7
33 Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you?
34 But Voldermort does it!
35 Ding-dong the witch is dead is the new school song
36 Professor McGonagall is an Evil Kitty.
37 I idolize Fred and George Weasley and Lord Voldermort
38 My name is Dark Lord of the hokey-pokey and I’ll sign my papers as such
39 the Accio charm is really The Force
40 Pokemon are real ya know

Things Sirius Black Isn't Allowed To Do
-I am no longer allowed to ask if I can grope Professor McGonagall
-I am no longer allowed to walk around the corridors in a fairy costume just to walk around in a fairy costume.
-I am no longer allowed to sign my papers as “The Great and Sexy Sirius Black”
-I am no longer allowed to dress up as James and embarrass my self to ruin Prongs’ (little) reputation
-I am no longer allowed to ask Lily for a neck rub while in vincity of James
-I am no longer allowed to give first years Fire Whiskey.
-I am no longer allowed to draw dirty words and images on James’ face when he wakes up late.
-I am no longer allowed to give James condoms for Christmas and I am also no longer allowed to give Lily birth control for Christmas.
-I am no longer allowed to place hundreds of vicious squirrels in Snivellius’ dorm.
-I am no longer allowed to steal Remus’ chocolate.
-I am no longer allowed to ask Remus if his wolf senses are tingling.
-I am no longer allowed to place Peters hand in warm water while he is taking his Between class nap and I am also no longer allowed to place a charm on him so he will not feel that he has wet himself.
-I am no longer allowed to make elves strip tease on holidays in the Great Hall
-I am no longer allowed to place whoopee cushions on Professor Dumbledore’s chair in the Great Hall
-I am no longer allowed to charm Killer Butterflies into attacking Snivellius
-I am no longer allowed to lock Lily and James into broom closets (although they enjoy it more than they put off).
-I am no longer allowed to tell first years that Professor Flitwicks first name is actually Yoda

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