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My functions
all the crap I written under the influence of various drugs
The Ingelwood Function
It was a function like any other there was sum bitches dancing shaking they a**'s real fat n s**t sweat dribbling like a basket ball. Then shawty asked "you tryna suck me like a cig"
I ain't the kinda homie to dance with a female I don't know them females don't have hearts only p***y I look down at my red cup I see I'm bleeding bad on the inside I can't my fish died yesterday "I can't dance"
"well mmmf let me dance on ur co-"
I cut her off with a full on back hand so hard an fast it's like someone turned off los lights... then i see him a homie like me he's from culver bangs that CXC hard but im even harder I look into his hazel eyes brown as an autumn sky we make eye contact and in a short split im cold n icy he looks in me sees my heart I bite my lip sucking on it thinking what his taco tates like I walk over shawty who's flopping like a fish on land all over the dance floor.
"sup homie where you frum don't you know this is Venice"
I'm tryna act brave keeping los craks in my voice together keeping composer like Trump, he knows I ain't s**t and gets in my face our chest touch I can feel his nipples are hard sharper than an ice pic, you know he stabbed me with them nipples of frost got me in the heart like cupid.
"Ye I do homie I ain't here to bang." His breath is warm smells like hard boiled eggs and rotten eggs my favorite, he's licking his fat pink lips our heads touch and we just stand music goes off and there's dead silence all I see is him all I need is him. He pushes me back "GET THE ******** OUTTA MY FACE n***a TF?" I fly back into a door and he runs in slams it behind him. I get up sore he's strong real big homie real soft to I laugh "we alone now thoe"
"hahah ya homie"
"come over here thoe sit on my lap bro"
"hahaha sure homeboy"
"damn your a** hella soft bro, you strong to pushed me hard a** fuc issa fine thoe"
I hold his arms around him tying him in close I smell his bald head and kiss his sweaty neck all the while I'm rubbing his jeans feeling his massive glock.
"ahhhh ya homie you already know I'm a homo homie hahaha"
I pick him up and throw him to the door I cant take it he's like a ball of fire I gotta play with him
"give me that a** I came to bang"
He flips me over onto the floor and punches me feels so good my blood flows like a river down my nose onto the wooden floor.
"mmf dang foo you aint even gonna buy me food?"
"what you mean thoe I got your fish taco right here"
he rips his pants off like a hulking Trump and revals his tight small v****a
"HOMIE NO!!!"
"bu-bbb-but ho..... homie?"
"nah foo that shits disgusting we aint homies I aint never eat p***y EVER"
"I....?"
I push him off of me and kik the door open they all see his p***y flaps hes red and in tears
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS????"
"*sigh* you don't get it homie huh Im a homo homie"
I give him a twinkling wink and make like a banana cuz we split.

The End



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