this year i've
-met someone who i'll never forget
-lost so many people who were important to me
-grew out of my home away from home
-made so many mistakes
And some moments I was so sad, I was sure that I couldn't go on. I was sure that this was it and I'd never be happy again. That everyone was moving on and growing up and I'd be alone; forever the same misfit. I was so sure I'd never find where I belong.
Then there was Lehman.
I'm not sure if I belong at Lehman, but this little bit of 'purgatory' has been great. I'm missing so many of my friends and at the same time I've managed to adapt. There's always phone calls. Text. Spacebook. [Haha.]
I know I'll never be truly alone [no matter how hard I want to be, no matter how convinced that I am].
I started track this year to get out of the house and prevent myself from being alone. I've made friends in a place I never thought I'd enjoy. I...I've grown.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still making mistakes. [That boy, that memoir. Being lazy. Giving up.]
But it's okay to make mistakes. And it's okay to hurt and be lost.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to say right now, but I want to record how I feel. I want to look back at this and remember what I was thinking Freshman year. What I was thinking when I was no longer apart of my precious 180. When I was isolated.
When I took my first look up at Lehman from Westchester square, the taste of the waning summer air in my mouth and realized that this is my school.
Sometimes I still long for Science. I wish that I had gotten in. I'm not sure what I'm going to do after I get my SHSAT results. What am I going to tell Coach A? Am I participating in outdoor?
Will I get to run again before I'm a Junior?
...
I realize that these are questions that are going to be answered soon, but not this year. This was my year of uncertainty.
Change.
It's not the end, though. There's so much more I wanna do, there's another me I want to be.
Peace out, 09. Twas nice to know you.
Sonic14010 Community Member 
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