One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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A blonde was driving down the street when she heard the radio, saying how stupid blondes where. After hearing all she could, she furioulsy turned off the radio. While driving down the rode she saw a blonde rowing a boat in a corn feild. So apon seeing that she stopped the car and yelled it's from blondes like you that we get the bad reputations. If i could swim i would come out there and drown your a**.
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There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
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A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd" replied the doctor "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says to her "Your not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde" she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken." replies the doctor.
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's
a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be
able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then .." He sighed......... ..... "Let's put all
the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
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A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him.
He takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
"What a great chest you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."
He takes off his pants and the blonde says,
"What massive calves you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes
running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite
after I saw how short the fuse was."
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A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming
from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the
bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's
dialing 911, her four-year-old son comes up and says,
"Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,
right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough,
there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten b***h," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack,
and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!"
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A blonde, brunette and a red head are all at the pearly gates waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter's says to them to get nito heaven you have to climb these stairs and listen to 100 of Gods jokes without laughing. if you dont laugh you make it to heaven.
The brunette went first. She got to the 26th stair and burst out laughing.
Next went the red head she got to the 47th stair fell over in tears of laughter
The blonde went last. she made it all the way to the top of the stiars, not even the sign of a smile.
when she was at the top she burst out laughing.
God said to her " why are you laughing now?"
and the blonde said" because i only just got the first one!"
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This blonde was so excited! she was finally being taken to a football game for the first time with her boyfriend. so at about half-time, the blonde said to her boyfriend: "i now understand football, it is so immature". the boyfriend was curious how she came up with this conclusion so her replied with an aweshocked: "uhh, why do you say that?" The blonde replies with a simple "well, its so pointless, at the beginning of the game, they flip a quarter, then the rest of the game all we see is the two teams beatin the s**t out of each other screamin: GET THE QUARTERBACK!!!, i mean, do you see how dumb it is to fight over a coin, i thought football players were paid better"
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i uh...i dunno ^.^
Sorah Lillith
Sorah Lillith
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