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Deay DIE-Ary...
manifesto (poem)
it has begun.
no more ******** songs...
no more ******** fake smiles,
the blood is dripping from my nose,
the stress is eating my alive
its the cancer i have,
its stems from your very exsitance,
tell me your love me,
and ill tell you i hate you,
tell me your family,
and ill prove that blood is just as thick as water to me
Be my lover of many lies,
as i lie with your whoreing sister in the bed we share.
I'll consume your happyness,
ill feed of your woes,
Ill tell you the truths,
which will hurt you ten fold,
a bullet of truth
a heart cast away,
be my ******** freind
ill wait for you to fall,
so i can kick you when your down,
Ill destroy your every smile,
your dreams mean nothing to me,
as i use you for the tool you are
to further my own dreams,
This dagger wont slit my wrist
becasue its not for me to do it,
ill be your morning,
ill be your dusk,
Ill be your freind
and your enemy,
Ill speak truths to you,
which fall upon your ears as lies...

i am the your brother,
i am your cousin
i am your freind
i am your lover
I am chewie,
i am ashen,
i am many but the forgotten

I am william...
------------------

im tired of your games ..im tired of my own, ...erased a few that i know i dont use, only to keep the ones that have thier own. Im going to drive yo uaway now and i dont care what you say...either you understand or you dont.

like the eldar say...

no more songs...no we fight.

possible hack
Community Member
  • [10/19/07 03:30am]
  • [08/08/07 10:07pm]
  • [08/02/07 05:43pm]
  • [07/27/07 04:47pm]
  • [07/24/07 09:28am]
  • [07/18/07 05:49pm]
  • [07/18/07 02:43am]
  • [07/11/07 05:39am]
  • [07/10/07 01:30am]
  • [07/08/07 08:08pm]




  • User Comments: [2]
    Rain Bluewolf
    Community Member





    Tue May 15, 2007 @ 04:44am


    cry
    I wish I could be there for you, to help you through this! If you need me just text me if you can! Just keep in touch and let me know what happens!
    heart ~Rain


    LonelyEva
    Community Member





    Sun Jun 10, 2007 @ 05:11pm


    Constructive criticism

    -First,
    'its stems from your very exsitance,
    tell me your love me,
    and ill tell you i hate you,
    tell me your family,
    and ill prove that blood is just as thick as water to me'
    I think there should be at least a full stop, or perhaps even a break, after existance, to show the transition from the narrative, if you will, to the confrontation.

    -Secondly, try to choose either a plant metaphor, as in
    'stems from your very existance', an animal, as in 'eating me alive' or dark imagery, like the bullets and the daggers, and stick with it. Otherwise you're mixing metaphors and you'll confuse your meaning.

    -Thirdly, reduce your usage of the word
    'I'll' and try using 'I will', 'I do' or'I must' to cement your meaning and make it sound stronger.



    Ok?


    User Comments: [2]
     
     
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