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I have painc in a big dose. Really, really really much panic. It's about stupid little things as well. I hate being manic-depressive, it sucks most of the time. I hate haveing to cut myself to realse the tension and pain and pent up feelings. i hate hating so much. sad i wish i could be normal, with out all the paranoia and depression. mad At least I have J-dawg-For-Jesus-Christ to cheer me up. He's cool, I'm surprised that he still feels the same way about me, I normally scare people to much by this time. What a guy, he's reinforced with some Jesus armor like me. razz All right, so sometimes I doubt but what is faith? Faith can only exist with doubts and fears, if i still believe after all the doubts and pain and fears, i have faith. I have to keep the faith. It's my life, I wouldn't be able to fill the massive black hole if i turned from Jesus. Money, things and greed can't do it. They only serve to make it wider and bigger so it sucks you in. I Love Jesus. I'll yell it if you asked me too, I'd die for it. I'm a child in Christ, I'm his daughter and I'm mighty proud of it too. You can't take me from him world, I am safe in my fathers hand, nothing can snatch me out of it. So yah to you demons! blaugh Okay, I'm done ranting on. i have a permenate sore tummy coz of hyper acidity now-a-days so i'm a bit grumpy. xp I sound like my grandad.... lol