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…“Do you have a p***s?”

Not kidding.

As I recall, it happened in Wal-Mart. Not only that, it happened before this particular Wal-Mart became a Supercenter! stare I guess I should start at the beginning.

Okay, I went to daycare when I was a little kid. And when you’re a little kid, you learn things. Heck, I’m seventeen and I’m still learning things. I learn new things every day. Anyway, what I mean is, you learn important things when you’re younger. Like how to tie your shoes, learning left from right, saying your ABCs… things like that. In this case, I was learning (in daycare) the difference between boys and girls.

You see, there were also babies at this daycare. Whenever one needed a diaper change, they usually did it out in the open. By doing it so… openly, all the other kids who were there could wander over and take a look at this baby. Kids are naturally curious. I was no different. I soon noticed that the girl babies lacked something that the boy babies had. One day, I asked a one of the instructors why the boy babies had it and the girl babies didn’t. She just told me that that was how you could tell the difference between boys and girls. “It’s called a p***s,” she said. She also told me that girls (including myself) had something called a v****a. “Boys don’t have one of those,” she’d also said.

To tell you the truth, I still sometimes have trouble telling the difference between the sexes. sweatdrop

Anyway, thus I learned of the physical difference between boys and girls. Fast forward many days later…

My mom was pushing me around in the cart (the cart I’m too old to be pushed around in) in Wal-Mart. I was probably about 3-4 years old. It was before I’d started kindergarten, I know that. Anyway, we were in either the cosmetics or the shampoo section when this sweet, little old lady came over and remarked on how adorable I was. “What a cute little girl!” I remember her saying.

Now, before you misjudge me, please note that this woman had a low voice (she’d probably smoked one too many cigarettes in her youth). She was wearing pants. She had no hint of a bosom. She probably even had a few hairs on her face (a plausible beard). She wasn’t wearing make up. She had extremely short hair, like a buzz cut. All in all, anyone could have made the mistake.

I gave her a cute (albeit politely puzzled) look and inquired, “Do you have a p***s?”

I swear, the woman almost had a heart attack… or a stroke… or a hernia. Seriously. She, like, clutched herself and her eyes comically widened. Both her and my mom were floored (and not the funny kind, either—it was the shocked kind). This lady sort of limped away after my mom apolgized to her.

(Later on, when I was older, my mom confided to me that she actually had thought that was pretty funny.)

I needed to write this down. It’s probably one of my finest hours as a person.

Anyway, it’s late (current about midnight), so I’ll be submitting this and then logging out. If you think this is funny and should be published, comment and be my friend! If not… what’s the matter with you?! This is funny stuff! I should have been on that show where kids say funny things.