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Ugh! I could scream. I am so disgusted with myself. It makes me sick, I want to puke! Of course it would work out like this. I KNEW BETTER. But I didn't listen. To anyone. Or myself. I went against my own better judgement. Why? I figured why not? What do I have to lose? The answer? Everything. EVERYTHING. I just wanted to be normal. And now, I just want to get away from everyone. From the people I know. So completley screwed...so, so screwed. And I just wanna talk to Kaylee...so bad. But I can't. I've been trying to for the past 3 days. But she's never home. And now she is, but her grandma's on the phone. She said she'd tell her to call me back. But she won't. She never does anymore. And I just want to talk to somebody. No, I want to talk to Kaylee. Nick's talking to me. But it's kidna hard to talk to him when he's part of the problem. He means well but...sometimes well intentions get you nowhere...No, good inentions never get you anywhere. But screwed over and hurt. And...dammit! I just...I just want to talk to Kaylee before I break down completely! Screw it. What's ranting on some online journal gonna do? Nothing. It isn't getting me anywhere...it isn't even making me feel better this time...

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